http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=richard-dawkins The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 01:37:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60184#post-174716 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:02:55 +0000 monkeyrepublic 174716@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s leading rationalist, Richard Dawkins, has claimed that a rogue element in his own genome is hell-bent on self destruction and has hijacked his Twitter feed to achieve its evil aims.</p> <p>Following a series of provocative tweets a ‘fatwah’ is almost certainly on the cards for the UK’s foremost atheist. But Dawkins denies that he was responsible.</p> <p>He said: “If we look at this rationally, it is clearly supremely unlikely that I would have posted these things willingly. The gene drives the organism to act in ways likely to preserve the self and result in reproduction. Whereas this is clearly just asking for it.</p> <p>“I would never willingly offend any minority with a reputation for murderous retribution. Rather than blaming myself, I believe that this is terrorist action by fundamentalist fairies disguised as an exon within my genetic code.”</p> <p>Acting on ‘intelligence’, a crack team of special forces geneticists is preparing to shrink themselves to molecular size and enter Dawkins looking for terrorist cells. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114796 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:21:31 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 114796@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hopefully he just turn the other cheek! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114795 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:17:44 +0000 Golgo13 114795@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd be more worried about Romney suing... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114794 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:13:44 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 114794@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the constructive critasism, first proper go at a story so duely noted.</p> <p>As for the Dawking/Dawkins issue, I dont suppose you would believe me if I said it was for litigation purposes would you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114788 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 11:52:03 +0000 waylandsmithy 114788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's 'Dawkins'...</p> <p>Nice idea but rambles off at a tangent. I'd concentrate on the Mormon obsession with saving everyone, I really enjoyed the first two paras. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114781 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 10:51:20 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 114781@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Accidently did a Putin and rigged my own vote there! Sorry </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40357#post-114779 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 10:50:05 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 114779@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a shock move today it was announced that well know celebrity atheist Richard Dawkins is set to convert and become a member of the Church of the Latter Day Saints (Mormon’s).</p> <p>The announcement came from well know tax avoider and part time presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Speaking from his Massachusetts hideaway on Martha’s Vineyard Mr Romney said “ I think deep down Richard has a sneaking admiration for god and all his achievements, so I have decided on his death to convert him to our faith, saving him from all that messy death bed recanting of sins stuff, everybody wins! “. Adding further justification to his act, Romney said “I knew Richard would be perfect for us when I saw footage of him on U Tube doing Crazy Horses by the Osmond’s on Karaoke at a mate’s retirement party”. The seventies family group are know also to be Mormon enthusiasts, although it is unknown if Mr Dawkins had performed any songs by the Utah Saints at the party in Buckinghamshire.</p> <p>Mr Romney finished off by saying “ I think it’s a big coup to get someone of Richard’s stature on board “ he then went on to reiterate that it in no way a publicity stunt to gain support from East Coast academics in forthcoming Ruplican primary elections.<br /> This is not the first time Mr Romney has courted controversy over the posthumous conversion issue. He has in the past converted his late father to the Mormon faith and unsuccessfully tried Satan where he was quoted as saying “ Old Nick was a bit miffed about the whole affair, he was worried that the conversion would put him at odds with his public persona as the Prince of Darkness”</p> <p>Mr Dawkins was unavailable for comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37099#post-104159 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:32:19 +0000 Al OPecia 104159@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37099#post-104116 Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:21:15 +0000 Bill Britton 104116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After a series of exhaustive tests, researchers at the U.S. Department of Education have found that the “higher being” responsible for Intelligent Design (ID) has an IQ of 78. This number falls within a range signifying “borderline deficiency in intelligence.” The release of the news sparked a number of protests around the country. John H. Calvert, Managing Director of the ID Network, claimed that the test was unfair: “How can a two-hour test be fair? It took God millions of years to design the human eye. How can He be expected to complete a 100-word quiz in two hours? I never said He was a Mensa candidate.”</p> <p>Leading atheist Richard Dawkins disputed the findings. “I cannot attest to the validity of this, quote, ‘God,’ being the Big Banger himself, or herself, for that matter. I believe He should undergo rigorous scrutiny. For example, can He recite the Bible and Qur’an word-for-word? Where’s his laboratory? I think the whole thing’s a sham meant to equate His intelligence with the typical believer’s. Ask the folks stranded by volcanic ash if they think He’s so clever. Ask the people in Haiti, for that matter.”</p> <p>Education Secretary Arne Duncan said that “it looks like God never had the benefit of the ‘No Child Left Behind’ program. Perhaps we can get Him some remedial help. First I’d have to check with Director Pete Orszag over at the Office of Management and Budget to see if we can come up with the necessary money. If not, we could always get a smaller White House Christmas tree this year and sign on a tutor funded with the savings.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33021#post-93852 Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:09:33 +0000 medici2471 93852@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good one, though clearly delusional ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33021#post-93850 Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:02:27 +0000 Ostsee 93850@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>None better. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33021#post-93849 Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:57:46 +0000 apepper 93849@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well known writer on religion, Richard Dawkins, is to be the new Dean of St Paul's Cathedral. Church leaders denied that there was no-one else available. "He's the best man for the job.", said a spokesman. "I understand he's written widely on religion and he certainly knows his bible." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26090#post-71032 Mon, 06 Jun 2011 10:12:58 +0000 Hideous 71032@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As "The New College of Humanities", Britain's first 'private University' is launched, founder Richard Dawkins has defended the projected £18,000 a year fees for undergraduates. During a news conference marking the launch, Professor Dawkins commented, "Until relatively recently, it was thought that Christians and other faith-delusion-ist groups had an almost complete monopoly on being stupid, ill-educated, smelly and useless. However, recent research has shown that so called 'poor-people' also share these unfortunate characteristics. Our fee structure is designed specifically to find the best candidates by systematically screening out those from the weaker end of the gene pool"</p> <p>The launch of the New College of Humanities is seen as the culmination of a process which began in the 1970s, when several academics expressed concern that children from state schools had been seen at Oxford. They established a group which has devoted itself to promoting the re-exclusivisation of higher education. While the steady increase in tuition fees in Universities is obviously something they support, for these radical exclusivists, the process clearly hasn't gone far enough.</p> <p>"Poor people are getting increasingly uppity" said an irritated Professor Grayling. "Gettin' ideas above their station. Clamoring for degrees, gettin' all hoity-toity and parading about like they was really something. How they going be happy working in the fields, pickin' cotton, flippin' burgers and slaving in factories if we go giving them degrees and qualifications they don't rightly need? It don't make for a harmonious society" he remarked.</p> <p>Asked if the high £18,000 a year fees were fixed or would be reviewed, Professor Dawkins agreed to monitor the situation closely. He responded that the University plans to record the postcode of every student who matriculates in order to trace their socio-economic origins. "If we find postcodes like RG9 appearing in the research, we can be confident we have pitched the fees about right. Obviously if anything as disturbing as L8 or G21 was to appear, we would have to considerably increase the fees" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32712 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:37:47 +0000 4ty2 32712@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>works great for hoovering - sorry dysoning up ashes of burned books. </p> <p>Is Dyson a hoover fundamentalist? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32661 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:22:30 +0000 Griffin 32661@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The good thing about evolution is that everything eventually becomes extinct. The sooner all the Dysons do the better. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32606 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:21:02 +0000 malgor 32606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I binned my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32604 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:08:01 +0000 IABP 32604@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Helicopters and Vacuum cleaners have never really solved the noise issue. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32601 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 23:30:44 +0000 rikkor 32601@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cute. Not a 5, but cute. I always feel like taking one of those stupid vaccums and hitting that self-important fool in the head with it. If a vacuum spat out Kruggerands when I turned it on, I would still resist the entire experience. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32594 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:23:02 +0000 SingingHinny 32594@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent stuff. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11899#post-32593 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:19:38 +0000 dicky37 32593@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In his new book, The Dyson Delusion, controversial biologist Richard Dawkins claims the new Dyson DC33 was not just 'made' as some believe, but has evolved naturally over millions of years.<br /> "The notion that the DC33 Multi Floor cleaner is the work of some lofty, white-haired supreme being is, quite frankly, ludicrous," states Dawkins.<br /> "The longer-reach wand, the stow-away flex; science tells us that nature will have developed these features over millennia. To simply accept them as the product of an 'intelligent design process' because we are told it is true seems to me to be the very worst kind of lazy-minded nonsense."<br /> Dawkins points to recent excavations in Peru to dispute the theory of those he labels 'those cleaner creationists'.<br /> "Fossil records clearly show that the DC33 did not simply appear, but can be traced directly back to a series of more primitive, bag-based upright ancestors."<br /> Dyson was last night unavailable for comment, but is thought to be planning retaliation against Dawkins through a plague of "something nasty, and particularly tricky to get out of carpets..." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2413#post-7175 Mon, 12 Apr 2010 17:02:56 +0000 thackaray 7175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>how do you pronounce it bytheway </blockquote></p> <p>The name Jonathan Uankbreak, is pronounced with a silent Jonathan. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2413#post-7172 Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:57:32 +0000 PluckyMunky 7172@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is something wonky about your logic, here, Mr Uankbreak, but I can't work out what it is! I think your argument is elliptical. Nice one, though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2413#post-7156 Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:55:29 +0000 edward hack 7156@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>2.5 for the sub and 2.5 for the name...how do you pronounce it bytheway </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2413#post-7128 Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:02:30 +0000 Jonathan Uankbreak 7128@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br />