http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=puffin-twatting The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 16:12:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93181 Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:53:02 +0000 Clarky 93181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Laugh at this so you don't have to read about the denimed tubster. And no - no relation. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93168 Fri, 28 Oct 2011 07:44:26 +0000 nickb 93168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I gagged reading about him. Always do </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93141 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:52:07 +0000 CJWorkman 93141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this even a joke? Five stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93117 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:00:55 +0000 FlashArry 93117@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>just re-apply gag</p> <p>champion </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93114 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:57:24 +0000 writinginbsl 93114@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny</p> <p>late stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93030 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:56:55 +0000 Perks 93030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny *s </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32686#post-93029 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:54:15 +0000 jp1885 93029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23356#post-63356 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:58:28 +0000 Scroat 63356@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Unexpected item in dogging area" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23356#post-63354 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:46:04 +0000 Mrblacker 63354@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Prostitutes, massage parlours and doggers say they'll start advertising in the Financial Times after the Sport Media Group, confirmed it was going into administration.</p> <p>The company, which published the Daily and Sunday Sport titles, made the announcement after seeing sales plummet.</p> <p>However, the whores and perverts who rely on the down-market soft porn papers to earn money or get their kicks, say their determined to keep its spirit alive by going up-market.</p> <p>"We see this as an opportunity." Marcia Sutherland from the British Sluts Society told reporters at her massage parlour and brothel in Winchester.</p> <p>"I think we've been complacent for too long and have been happy to pick up the rough trade garnered through advertising in the Sport. Now, with it's closure, we have the chance to earn more money, increase our prices and service a richer clientele by advertising in the FT. After all, going with the Pink One seems appropriate for what we do."</p> <p>However, welfare groups say they've concerns for the topless models featured so heavily in the Sport titles.</p> <p>"We fear that the young, mainly blonde girls the paper kept in a basement in London, just so they could be photographed, will now be unleashed on a world that they're totally unprepared for." Darren Harris from the charity Recovering Models said.</p> <p>"That's why we're appealing for people to come forward and help adopt these young women and teach them everything they need to survive in the real world, including how to wear clothes."</p> <p>It's understood that doggers have already turned to The Spectator as their organ of choice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22618#post-61135 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:33:13 +0000 Scroat 61135@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.framley.com/pages/clas010.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.framley.com/pages/clas010.php</a></p> <p>Priceless stuff. Thanks whoever tagged this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22618#post-61128 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:50:36 +0000 Zadok the second 61128@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lucky Pierre, I say. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22618#post-61127 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:43:17 +0000 pinxit 61127@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>*****</p> <p>Minor quibble - what about the sexually tampered puffins?</p> <p>Surely they deserve some consideration... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22618#post-61112 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 13:33:32 +0000 wallster 61112@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I feel I must complain in the strongest terms about the content of today's front page. Not only are we subjected to a gratuitous image of James Nesbitt, but it seems we must sit by while two people, who, incidentally, I believe to be writing under assumed names, mock the man's career; which has been dying on its arse since he was coerced into appearing in a series of ill advised yellow pages adverts some years back.</p> <p>Can you please ensure that future front page stories do not include any elements of mockery, controversy, topicality, comedy, cock-er-ny, Shy guy a weh me wanty, wanty, wanty; Only him can make me feel irie? As Diana King so eloquently put it.</p> <p>Unless things start to pick up soon, I will be writing in the strongest terms to OFBISCUIT; demanding that your satire licence be revoked; and that your annual bonus be distributed among animal charities, to be spent on the urgent rehabilitation of over-licked squirrels, cheeky penguins and badgers with arm induced walking disorders.</p> <p>Oh and while you're at it, please have the decency to withdraw your planning application to build a biscuit themed theme park on the site of the derelict watering hole over yonder hillside.</p> <p>Garibaldi World may well make you a few extra coppers, my man, but just you stop and think about all the poor wee orphans you'll be making homeless in the process. It'll be prostitution for half of them. Again.</p> <p>Yours lovingly,</p> <p>Some bloke or other. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32450 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 10:36:39 +0000 Basil_B 32450@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surprised but not surprised when you consider she spends most of her time trekking around Britain in wet weather gear apart from the times she strips off to go skinny dipping in some remote tarn up in the lake district, oohhhhh stop it Basil, i'm getting myself going now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32446 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 10:24:47 +0000 Griffin 32446@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Julia is still single!!!!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32430 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:44:53 +0000 Basil_B 32430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Post-Op' Bradbury is certainly highly thought of at the BBC. </p> <p>You've got me worried Saltire! Did Julia used to be a man or something?<br /> They did a fantastic job if that was the case. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32429 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:39:54 +0000 saltire 32429@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Post-Op' Bradbury is certainly highly thought of at the BBC. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32425 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:22:26 +0000 pinxit 32425@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Damn. Not a mention of Puffin-twatting. That's the only reason I read NB.</p> <p>Thumbs up Julia though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32418 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 07:54:19 +0000 Basil_B 32418@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I must admit it's probably the highlight of the whole story. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32412 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 06:35:26 +0000 Griffin 32412@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You should not have mentioned Julia and Gortex wetsuits in the same sentence. It has set me going again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11816#post-32369 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:16:00 +0000 Basil_B 32369@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The recent BBC Television series 'Secret Britain' was today found to be completely flawed as it failed to find an Island containing a colony of puffins just off the Outer Hebrides.<br /> Since the episode that overlooked the Island had been broadcasted last month TV watchdog Ofcom has been inundated with all of two complaints about the omission of the Island known as Glangarry n shet which is celtic for puffin shit hole. </p> <p>Ofcom spokesman Charles Brewer said of the matter ' for a programme boasting within it's title ''secret britain" to have not found all of what it says is a flagrant disregard of all regulations regarding television viewing. One of the two complainents went as far as saying it breached her human rights the fact that she was denied full access to all of secret britain' went on Brewer 'that's how serious we're are having to take this matter'.<br /> The BBC have tried to shift the blame to the actual staff of the show itself and the situation has seemed to have caused some friction between the two presenters of the show.<br /> 'Glangarry n shet is a very small Island and was easily missed on the map' said programme presenter Matt Baker giving his excuses for not finding it ' I looked and looked at that map I couldn't see it' finished the embarrassed young Baker which was quickly rebuffed by fellow presenter Julia Bradbury who said ' If he had spent more time concentrating on the map instead of trying to mentally undress me out of my gortex wetsuit and hiking boots, we may of actually found it' she retorted. </p> <p>As there are no human residents of Glangarry n shet to ask, we asked a random puffin for an opinion on the matter of being ignored by the Beeb ' I'm glad they never came' he said ' in my opinion secret britain should stay secret britain and the BBC can piss off and stay in London the nosey bunch of bastards'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30635 Fri, 27 Aug 2010 13:25:25 +0000 brownpaperreporter 30635@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>they are designed to annoy readers with arthritis. Pain to get to the chat topic and then forced to scroll further and further down to get to the ramblings ... great idea </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30626 Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:52:25 +0000 Des Custard 30626@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A tag is the best form of defence. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30520 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:21:03 +0000 rikkor 30520@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, that's how you get to the eff-ing Forum. I wondered how to do that. Glad to see that "Fists of Fury" is still vy. popular. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30513 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:45:15 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 30513@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Welcome to the Chatroom, Mr Urlaz. Up in the extreme RH corner you'll fund a "button" named "Forum". Click on the button and you will find a new list of articles, but on the LH side a blue cube with tags individually manufactured by gifted and amusing individuals on an ad hoc basis floating around. The tags rush around like goldfish if you try to click on one; word-count on the new site was very low until we all became tired of it. So, off you pop and waste your time with the Blue Cube, for a while.</p> <p>The tags are to furnish the blue cube with elusive esoteric texts. What could be simpler? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30512 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:33:54 +0000 rikkor 30512@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Curlaz up and dye" is mine. A good name if you ever want to open a hair salon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30508 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:47:32 +0000 Scroat 30508@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Welcome Curlaz. You're among friends.</p> <p>Until The Others get here... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30500 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:46:15 +0000 jp1885 30500@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yup - use the tags for words and phrases that relate to your post, and/or stick something in there to amuse or annoy your fellow biscuiteers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30492 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:20:20 +0000 sauce 30492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They're for Rikkor to aggrevate those of a sensitive disposition.</p> <p>But they probably were <em>designed </em>to help find particular topics [cf badger fisting / squirrel licking / puffin twatting].</p> <p>btw, welcome. Help yourself to a Hobnob. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11159#post-30487 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:49:55 +0000 Curlaz 30487@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I see the tags box, but what does it do? Should I treat it the same was as metatags, ie. words which relate to a post?</p> <p>I'm new here, so excuse my ignorance. </p>