http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=pub The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 11:15:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57726#post-167447 Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:44:16 +0000 MikeF 167447@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Professor Brian Cox, the former keyboard player with D:Ream and now a famous particle physicist and broadcaster, has expressed deep concerns that the apparent rise of UKIP on the political agenda will bring racists and anti-racists together.</p> <p>"This high energy collision presents the danger of producing a quark-gluon plasma which could disturb the balance of the space-time-beer equilibrium" said Cox to Nigel Farage, leader of the UK Independence Party, during a pub lunch.</p> <p>The physicist and and the former commodity broker Farage had 'robust talks' in the aftermath of the Easteigh by-election. Cox is said to be worried that UKIP's desire to 'coalesce' the views of people from all sides of the political spectrum is deeply flawed.</p> <p>"Nigel, who is a good bloke and stands his round, does not fully realise what he's messing with" said Cox. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Nigel, than are D:Reamt of in your philosophy."</p> <p>Mr Farage replied, "things can only get better, hic!".</p> <p>Cox is infuriated by Mr Farage's approach. "let me explain it this way", said Cox: "Diffractively produced Z bosons in the muon decay channel in pp̄ collisions as s, and the measurement of the efficiency of the DØ Run II luminosity monitor... and other stuff I've done... I love you, you're my best mate you are, wezzme pint?"</p> <p>Mr Farage declined to comment as he was trying to get the barman's attention.</p> <p>"Fffarr..aagg..ee" said Cox into a black hole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44720#post-128171 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 14:35:25 +0000 ianslat 128171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea. I wondered where that pub was. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44720#post-128166 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 13:46:55 +0000 Skylarking 128166@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant idea! Only reservation is that it feels like too many gags crammed in rather than any pacing. But totally needs to be FP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44720#post-128071 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 17:23:16 +0000 JohnA 128071@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But where will the man with the newt on his shoulder go? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44720#post-128053 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:57:52 +0000 Drylaw 128053@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I heard it had been bought by an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44720#post-128016 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:25:40 +0000 Oxbridge 128016@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>JD Wetherspoon has announced the closure of the King's Arms, a historic Victorian hostelry close to Lingfield Park racecourse in Sussex. According to regional director Trevor Lawrence, a series of recent misfortunes, including incursions by neutrons demanding to be served at no charge and long-dead playwrights suing after they were Bard, have made the pub economicaly unviable.</p> <p>'It seemed like every time there was a race meeting, a horse would break loose and go into the King's Arms,' said Lawrence. 'Of course, being horses and thus incapable of speech, they would normally just stand there until the jockey retrieved them. However, if the landlord gave in to temptation and asked them 'Why the long face?' all hell would break out.'</p> <p>In one incident last autumn, the horse replied that it was 'So I can get it that much further up your wife's minge', leading to a fight that the police had to break up. More recently, another horse gloomily said 'Best Mate died' and when someone else said that the former Cheltenham Gold Cup winner had actually died in 2004 and he really ought to have got over it by now, the horse went berserk and destroyed the public lounge.</p> <p>Landlord Eric Watts could not be reached for comment, as he is under sedation at home like his five predecessors. It is understood that he suffered a nervous breakdown after having to deal with wave upon wave of mushrooms, dogs, kangaroos and groups of Englishmen, Irishmen and Scotsmen coming into the pub together and expecting him to feed them lines.</p> <p>'Sadly, being that pub meant that no-one could just come in, sit down, order a drink and go home afterwards,' Lawrence said. 'It's a shame, because there were plenty of well-behaved regulars, like that cloud of helium for example. Even when he was told the pub wouldn't serve noble gases, he didn't react... OK, so you obviously didn't study chemistry, but trust me, that one's very, very funny.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-89044 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 09:06:52 +0000 vertical 89044@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very funny starz </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-89019 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:43:24 +0000 Boutros 89019@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanx. I thought it was a bit obscure but I obviously UNDERESTIMATED YOU. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-89017 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 23:09:27 +0000 FlashArry 89017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>... and there's me at ground zero - 5 * </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-89016 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:12:50 +0000 Midfield Diamond 89016@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very neat. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-89004 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 20:40:23 +0000 kga6 89004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-88991 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 19:59:10 +0000 dvo4fun 88991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31464#post-88967 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 18:10:46 +0000 Boutros 88967@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=149#post-431 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:33:11 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>the pickie isn't posted, old son. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=149#post-430 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:32:04 +0000 virtuallywill 430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br />