http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=prostitution The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 18:35:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151955 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 23:33:43 +0000 dvo4fun 151955@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ronseal &amp; nickb</p> <p>nuffink so interesting </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151948 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 22:47:40 +0000 FlashArry 151948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>DBA has the less attractive T's &amp; C's, though ...</p> <p>Nice work, Mr. S, ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151935 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 21:09:18 +0000 Gary Stanton 151935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all. It's one of the oldest professions, that and Database Administrator </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151930 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 20:29:35 +0000 nickb 151930@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I share Ronseal's admiration for the piece and his curiosity about dvo4fun's professional contact with ahem ladies of the night. I dimly remember he has made hints about his life on our mean streets and picture him as a kind of Dustin Hoffman figure. On the other hand he may be an STD doctore or in charge of a newsagent's window. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151899 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 16:46:02 +0000 Danny 151899@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. When we were students our vet school was in the middle of the red light district and as a result we were often propositioned. A quick word of advice: don't try and be nice by saying 'I don't have any money on me.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151890 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 15:52:39 +0000 ronseal 151890@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it</p> <p>DO4Fun</p> <p>How id you meet prozzies in a professional capacity?</p> <p>Were you a drug dealer? A cop who walks the mean streets? A shoe shine boy? Come on, you d=can't leave it there </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151889 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 15:47:23 +0000 dvo4fun 151889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, good point Oxy - that might explain why Gere took so long in deciding whether to make it a permanent relationship. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151885 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 15:35:27 +0000 Oxbridge 151885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shurely 'Vivienne'? - Pedantic Ed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151870 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 14:20:31 +0000 writinginbsl 151870@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny</p> <p>late stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151678 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 16:47:05 +0000 pinxit 151678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FFS! I've now got a mobile bill for over six grand!</p> <p>Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151666 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:57:13 +0000 DustyBinLaden 151666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hang on, I'll switch it on. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151665 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:54:58 +0000 Dick Everyman 151665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm getting a no connection tone from that mobile... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151664 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:48:32 +0000 Tripod 151664@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>Selling</em> a vagina? A 'short-term rental agreement', surely?... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151663 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:47:18 +0000 DustyBinLaden 151663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice. Para 5 is my favourite, although, having said that, I thought the second sentence was a bit wordy ('Things, though, did briefly look like improving for Spencer when Raj turned up one night with an Iceland party platter and a Bontempi organ under his arm'... perhaps).</p> <p>Anal-shaped stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151650 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:06:52 +0000 button 151650@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151643 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:37:54 +0000 dvo4fun 151643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It might have been done before ... or maybe I just thought about doing something like it, but excellent work.</p> <p>I have met quite a few prostitutes over the years (work related honest) but never once met the mythical Happy Hooker. Lots of pock-marked serially abused heroin addicts though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52649#post-151630 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 11:23:08 +0000 Gary Stanton 151630@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Pretty Woman devotee admits massive disillusionment with Rochdale prostitution scene</strong></p> <p>An ardent fan of the 1980’s movie Pretty Woman has today admitted that her life as a ‘sex worker’ has so far failed to live up to its on-screen portrayal. </p> <p>Tracy Spencer,23, claims to have watched the rags-to-riches tale of an ordinary hooker made good over seventy times and found the character ‘Vivian’ played by Julia Roberts to be an ‘inspirational role-model’. </p> <p>‘I’d been brought up to believe that prostitution was unglamorous, sleazy and downright dangerous so when I watched Pretty Woman for the first time it completely shattered the myth that selling one’s vagina for a living is a bad career choice, ‘ said Spencer, who charges £20 for straight sex, rising to £50 for anal without a condom ( Mobile No 07940 231112 )</p> <p>However, Spencer maintains things didn’t quite pan out as she had predicted when, after two weeks in the job, she had failed in her bid to be swept off her feet by a concerned patriarchal figure with a highly-paid job in real estate and the ability to look past the lip-gloss and glimpse the beautiful soul within.</p> <p>‘I expected it to be all five star hotels, fine dining and being made love to over a grand piano, but my current love interest ‘Raj’ is a horrifically violent unlicensed taxi driver and looks nothing like Richard Gere. Things, though, did briefly look like improving for Spencer when her local Pizza Express started offering a two-for the-price-of-one night and boyfriend-cum-pimp Raj admitted that he was in the market for a Bontempi organ. </p> <p>‘Pretty Woman has sold me a lie and I shan’t be watching it again. Lately, I’ve been taking my cues from the Bridget Jones character in Edge of Reason,’ added Spencer, who is now facing the death penalty in Thailand after attempting to enter the country with an oversized dildo containing cocaine worth an estimated $40,000. </p> <p>‘I’m expecting a dashing ‘Mr Darcy’ type civil rights lawyer to walk into my overcrowded cell any day now, having travelled half way around the world to secure my release and who doesn’t mind throwing his lot in with a toothless heroin addict.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13139#post-35926 Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:18:59 +0000 SingingHinny 35926@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Liked them, especially 'Hookers left open mouthed' one. Too late for the old edit though! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13139#post-35925 Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:48:13 +0000 be reasonable 35925@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'British sex-industry on its knees'?<br /> 'Hookers left open-mouthed as Rooney pulls out'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13139#post-35725 Wed, 29 Sep 2010 08:18:09 +0000 SingingHinny 35725@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A snappier headline required? 'Rooney injury leaves prostitution on all fours'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13139#post-35698 Wed, 29 Sep 2010 01:04:12 +0000 SingingHinny 35698@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s prostitution industry has been shaken to its knees by the news that an injured Wayne Rooney is expected to be out of action for three weeks. Rooney allegedly used the services of a number of escorts during the World Cup in South Africa, the publicity of which lead to a uncontrollable surge in the value of shares in the worlds oldest profession. </p> <p>However, news of Rooney’s untimely and unexpected withdrawal has shattered any illusions that prostitution might be in recovery after surmounting the hump of the recession. Worst fears were confirmed last night when the industry’s ‘stocking exchange’ struggled to maintain the desired rates of inflation and finished-off weakly. As a result, financial analists are predicting a long period of tension and frustration due to an impotent market and massive blow-job losses.</p> <p>‘Prostitution traditionally thrives irrespective of the prevailing economic trend,’ according to the Institute of Fiscal Studies. ‘This is due mainly to the proliferation of flexible horizontally-integrated bodies which are able to tighten up in all the right places, survive a good going over from the big boys and almost always come out on top.’</p> <p>However, it seems that as a result of the injury to Rooney, as well as David Beckham’s recent decision to very publicly distance himself from prostitution, the industry has been caught with its knickers down and horribly exposed. </p> <p>‘As an industry prostitution has survived because of public investment and appeal across the economic spectrum that has never shown signs of waning. As a result, the majority or brothels have not made provision for barren spells and dry patches; being balls-deep with no protection is bound to land you in a spot of bother once you spent your reserves.’</p> <p>Prostitution in England now faces a very difficult few months and the government is under increasing pressure to step in as the previous government did during the banking crisis or 2009, particularly from the House of Lords and the Liberal Democrats. However, the government is likely to wait until the last second before making a decision on whether to push ahead or pull out. </p> <p>‘We would deeply like to prevent one of Britain’s oldest and most traditional industries from going down,’ said Prime Minister David Cameron, ‘but we have to way the pros and cons against one another. For a government to holds its people’s hands is one thing, but perhaps we have to draw a line at holding their balls. Unless they’re blue.’ </p>