http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=pope The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:00:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58757#post-170730 Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:49:18 +0000 Griffo 170730@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cruel - which is a good thing </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58757#post-170689 Fri, 29 Mar 2013 11:36:15 +0000 Tripod 170689@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>the power to turn Jacob’s Creek into wine</blockquote></p> <p>Power indeed... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58757#post-170684 Fri, 29 Mar 2013 11:21:17 +0000 deceangli 170684@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“I saw the Two Millibands and had a divine revelation - they’d obviously elected the wrong one“, ex-Pope Benedict told Vatican insiders today.</p> <p>“When I look at Pope Francis he positively beams goodness, whereas I’m an ex Nazi who sat on his hands through numerous paedophile scandals. To be honest, it did seem a bit odd at the time. I prayed for guidance, and a picture of Ed Milliband appeared before me, with the caption ‘you’re this one’. It was a humbling moment”.</p> <p>According to the retired Pontiff, other clues came from reports that David Milliband exudes the smell of violets – long associated with sainthood – and has the power to turn Jacob’s Creek into wine. </p> <p>“I feel so, so sorry for the people of Britain. Even to a holy man, it’s pretty obvious that Ed’s a bit of a knob”. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58315#post-169189 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 22:42:29 +0000 BewsNiscuit 169189@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Soap on a Rope", that trusty 60's shower room accessory and stocking filler of last resort, is understood to have inspired a remarkable vatican enterprise just in time for next Christmas. In an attempt to capitalise on the popularity and friendly informality of its new Pope, the vatican is understood to be about to launch its own "Pope on a Rope" air freshener, to be marketed as part of the vatican's new "clear the air" re-branding programme. It is intended to symbolise the church's new "holy trinity" of freshness, cleanliness and purity following a "dirty decade" of difficult headlines and "dirty bastard" slurs, not to mention paedophile priests.</p> <p>Pope Francis is personally credited with bringing forward the initiative as one of his first acts of papal power. Announcing his vision over breakfast last weekend "Frank the Informal", as he has become, less than reverently, known to his aides, is reported as having blurted out his plans over his porridge - "Hey guys, I feel an encyclical coming on. Every good Catholic home should have at least one Pope on a Rope so we can spread the message deep amongst the faithful - and just think of the great global potential for some scorching royalties - so looks like we really gonna clean up big time in more ways than one, eh? Get my drift! Pass the toast."</p> <p>There are understood to be no plans to market a new range of "Frankie Says..." tee shirts but we'll know more soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58310#post-169170 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 22:00:45 +0000 Perks 169170@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the 'Kissing the pope's ring' joke is a bit tired and a bit of an old pub joke </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58310#post-169163 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 21:31:15 +0000 Gary Gonads 169163@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58180#post-168690 Mon, 18 Mar 2013 22:33:59 +0000 Gary Gonads 168690@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As his first official act as the new pontiff, Pope Francis I has announced the beginning of the canonisation process of Michael Jackson, paving the way for the late entertainer to become the Catholic Church’s next saint.</p> <p>When asked about Michael Jackson’s qualification for sainthood, Francis replied “Let’s be honest, the way he got out of those child molestation charges was nothing short of a fucking miracle.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58138#post-168548 Mon, 18 Mar 2013 09:53:00 +0000 A.J. DiCosimo 168548@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>[We need to put sexy back into Catholicism. This place is a dong factory.] said Pope Francis I in the wake of inheriting a Church in chaos. As abuse scandals, contraception, and logic rock the foundation of one of the worlds oldest institutions, the new Pontiff's "sex sells" strategy is already gaining momentum.</p> <p>[Sex is cool. I haven't had it yet, but me and my girlfriend have done everything but.] said twenty seven year old Neal Strawberry who lives on the steps of St. Peters Church in Pleasantville New Jeresy.</p> <p>While we don't exactly know how he is planing on incorporating the classic biological pastime into The Holy Mother Church, speculation is that it is going to be at some point during The Homily. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168467 Sun, 17 Mar 2013 14:34:28 +0000 Midnight Dreary 168467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's more "interesting" than "funny", I guess. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168348 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 08:57:03 +0000 Titus 168348@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Just ignore those you don't like and enjoy the stuff you do."</p> <p>Spot on. Most of my (consistently brilliant) posts get ignored: says it all really. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168346 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 08:37:31 +0000 Sinnick 168346@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pinxit, stop sulking &amp; come back.</p> <p>The picture's great: demonstrates a powerful technique &amp; the caption is very witty too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168334 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:50:59 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 168334@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not moaning. Just seems that a place which until quite recently was entertaining and constructive has somehow turned into a freakshow. I don't usually say much, but I felt I had to comment. I'm tempted to follow your piccy chap if he really is serious about leaving. If I ignored what I don't like at the moment, I'd have to go back at least thirty pages. Some of these freaks have issues. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168332 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:42:32 +0000 Perks 168332@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just ignore those you don't like and enjoy the stuff you do. It's a simple way of not getting upset. Start moaning about people and they will have a go back and then starts the bull. </p> <p>Night all </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168330 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:39:57 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 168330@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm thinking of opening a book. I reckon your piccy guy has had enough and that he won't bother in future. (1-9 on) This place is not a good place to be at the moment. What happened to Wayland? Are all the good writers hibernating? I very much doubt that Truebiscuit could ever conjure up anything worth reading. God forbid looking at. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168327 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:22:50 +0000 Perks 168327@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll be honest, not one of my favourite one of your pieces but I like alot of what you do. Your first comment did come across a little bit flouncey (not sure if that's a word but i'll fight over it in scrabble). Not everything can be used and we have all had many things that we think deserve more than they get. It's just one of those things. Not worth the full-on flounce though. </p> <p>I think that the GIFs are more Poke material as they have a larger variety of things they publish, although that's just my opinion.</p> <p>Ignore the tags. They are anonymous so don't deserve a second thought. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168325 Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:20:47 +0000 Truebiscuit 168325@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Clever. Not piss funny. Or satirical.</p> <p>FYI, catholics are allowed bacon, actually. It's them other ones that aren't. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168320 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 23:15:22 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 168320@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The writing was the first thing that drew me here. The other thing was the original pics. Most of the writers I enjoyed reading just a few short weeks ago seem to have shipped out. It's just infantile rubbish these days for the most part. Somebody needs to get a grip. To say this place has gone to the dogs is a massive understatement. I won't be coming back either until somebody sorts things out. Not that I ever contributed much myself, but I did visit daily, award stars and express appreciation of good work. Now it just seems like a waste of time. That's pathetic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168307 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 20:43:03 +0000 Truebisciut 168307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite - nobody else can do this stuff (although I am going to learn soon). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168304 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 20:23:20 +0000 Not Amused 168304@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think it's good pinxit. Ignore the comments, your pictures are needed on here. </p> <p>Come back and get more fish </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168299 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 20:06:17 +0000 pinxit 168299@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Des. I thought it was ok. Brookes obviously did too.</p> <p>The 'mini-flounce' 'oh get you' tags someone kindly appended to this just about sums it up.</p> <p>This place isn't a very nice or inspiring place to frequent anymore.</p> <p>So I'll take my leave. Thanks for all the fish. =] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168296 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 19:23:46 +0000 Des Custard 168296@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There ought to be room on the home page for stuff like this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168252 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 14:39:24 +0000 pinxit 168252@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmm. Was a good enough idea for the Times' Peter Brookes cartoon today... =[ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57987#post-168098 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 18:14:13 +0000 funnyhaha 168098@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Vatican source have announced that as a matter of precaution they have tested the Argentinian Pope, in line with all other meat imports. They first became suspicious when the notoriously frugal Francis I shunned the papal bedroom in favor of a straw bed and sugar cubes. When he rose this morning he pawed at the ground and asked that the traditional red Prada shoes be swapped for two metal clogs.</p> <p>When asked if the Vatican was worried at these developments, the source said they could not wait for the new Pope to get the bit between his teeth and gallop through the changes needed in the church. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57966#post-168041 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 09:47:11 +0000 Flash! Aa-aaaa! 168041@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Speaking from his luxurious London home he slammed the Conclave for not chosing him. " It's discrimination" he said " Why even the second word of my job title is Preacher but they still didn't choose me. Death to all westerners" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57957#post-168021 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 07:22:24 +0000 pinxit 168021@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/cafespike/francispope_anim_zpscdb4ee03.gif"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57956#post-168019 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 04:41:35 +0000 Gary Gonads 168019@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57954#post-168015 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:49:09 +0000 Gary Gonads 168015@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has narrowly beaten Polish Cardinal Arek Druc to be elected as the 266th Pope.</p> <p>“It was neck and neck for a while but in the end Jorge smoked that Pole” said American Cardinal Peter O’Malley when asked about the contest. “He must have gotten some tips from Benedict because we all know he’s smoked plenty of pole in his time.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57950#post-168011 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 02:55:30 +0000 Gary Gonads 168011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57928#post-167950 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 21:30:14 +0000 PlasticMonk 167950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Argentina's Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, the new Pope, denies claims from his opponents that he called on the "Hand of God" to help secure the final vote in the papel conclave elections. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57865#post-167756 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 10:19:03 +0000 theinvisiblecitychannels 167756@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I did this without looking at the most recent posts...two are very similar so sorry about that it was not intentional. Check out posts by roybland and Tripod - very good. </p>