http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=poor The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 06:17:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60750#post-176338 Thu, 02 May 2013 12:43:54 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176338@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The financial regulator has issued a threat to poor people, who are really asking for it, being poor and everything.</p> <p>A spokesperson said: “Most of the poor are living off benefits, which is essentially stealing. But often they own their own flat or even house, but it is either not very nice or actually bought on credit from a bank. Which is essentially stealing.</p> <p>"Having no money isn't big or clever. Poor people simply have to realise that, one day, they’re really going to get it. The simple fact is, they smell, live in squalor, and display poor taste in those things they do happen to own and in the things they choose to do.”</p> <p>The regulator says that statistics reveal that activities associated with being poor include football, watching ITV, excessive breeding, adultery and murder. Poor people have been urged to nurture an interest in the arts and to earn more money by finding less lowly employment in, say, a financial body. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44753#post-128150 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 10:36:14 +0000 rustytruss 128150@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, it didn't make me spurt coffee through my nose but hardly deserving of the one star treatment.<br /> I don't drink coffee in the morning anyway. If vodka was good enough for my mum (Gawd rest her soul)it'll do for me till the pubs open. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44753#post-128107 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 21:26:01 +0000 JETFAB 128107@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31425#post-88793 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 07:45:59 +0000 apepper 88793@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Atacama large milllimetre/submillimetre array (ALMA) in Chile is the largest, most complex telescope ever built. The director of the telescope has optimistic expectations: "ALMA will be able to see object 13 billion light years from Earth. Finally, it may be possible to see the end of the economic crisis."</p> <p>Chancellor George Osborne congratulated the team behind ALMA but commented, "my forecast is that the end of the crisis is 11 billion years away, 12 billion tops." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20170#post-54357 Tue, 18 Jan 2011 08:00:53 +0000 Doylem 54357@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Daniel Pickhill, of local estate agent, Pickhill &amp; Son, is pleased to see that John Darwin, recently released from Moorland Prison, is house-hunting in the Shit Creek area. “Despite the name, Shit Creek is an up-and-coming neighbourhood, offering the sophisticated ambiance of luxurious waterside living and, of necessity, triple-glazed windows. Once we change the name, get the water purification scheme up and running, and do something about the colour and the smell, these upmarket apartments are going to be snapped up. You mark my words. Oh, one more thing: no paddles. I don’t know why, it’s just a local tradition that we're happy to respect”... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-54017 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 21:54:26 +0000 wolfie 54017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>good angle!</p> <p>Aled Jones to re-release "walking in the air"?</p> <p>Boy George to re-brand as Old-Man-George</p> <p>... the Spice Old-Girls, or the Old-Spice Girls?</p> <p>Sam Fox to return to page 3...</p> <p>Keegan to return to England Centre-Forward?</p> <p>Dalgleish to return to Liverpool? (too ridiculous?) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53998 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 17:40:16 +0000 Scroat 53998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh FFS not Our Tune. What a nightmare!!! </p> <p>I remember once there was a guy who lost both legs in a car crash or similar. His tune was Baggy Trousers. Must have been a piss take. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53988 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:03:27 +0000 donttellhimpike 53988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is no laughing matter. Here in the North East one of our radio stations has employed DLT for some time and now Simon Bates has just started. Even worse he has re-introduced Our Tune. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53959 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 11:34:44 +0000 Griffin 53959@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With modern computers and maybe even an iPad they could bring back Jack Jackson. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53957 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 11:13:45 +0000 melody 53957@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dog ,lettuce and Tomato ,very popular in Korea and Barking . </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53896 Thu, 13 Jan 2011 19:46:24 +0000 wallster 53896@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Somewhere else. Presumably. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53889 Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:09:34 +0000 saltire 53889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A sandwich presenting a breakfast show ? Where's someone else when you need him. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19992#post-53888 Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:59:59 +0000 Skylarking 53888@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Simon Bates soon pop pickers... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18421#post-49607 Tue, 14 Dec 2010 20:04:27 +0000 wolfie 49607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After successful bogus blame-game headlines, where new exam targets were made up so 1000 schools can fail them, the Government has now decided to solve the financial crisis by declaring a tough new "richness" target for poor people. </p> <p>As an interim target, everyone is, today, to be rich enough to shop at Morrisons, and by 2014, everyone is to be richer than everyone else. Anyone not richer than everyone else by 2015 will be heavily fined.</p> <p>In spite of the targets being set almost 7 hours ago, it has been revealed that 1000000 poor Britons are still falling way short of the expected amount of richness. Shockingly, some people are even poorer than they were a year ago, and this is clearly grounds for everyone to say "that's awful, why are these people allowed to bring this country down?"</p> <p>The government inspection body for richness, "Ofdosh", will be set the task of explaining this worrying situation, but are currently at a loss to explain why there are still some people in the country who are not very rich indeed.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Ofsted are inspecting the below average schools; this will not help them, but will certainly make sure that people who send their kids to private school can sleep well in the knowledge that state schools feel suitably bad about how awful they are. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1642#post-5180 Thu, 01 Apr 2010 03:26:26 +0000 rfreed 5180@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aha. It was aimed at those who are not so charitable; in fact at those who can only think of themselves. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1642#post-4988 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 07:25:24 +0000 theumpire 4988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Exactly.</p> <p>There are many "of your fellow human beings in minor positions of power" working in charities trying to make life less miserable etc. John Square, for instance, at his housing association. I make the point in an effort to reduce the bitter aftertaste left by your submission.</p> <p>I agree with the main tenor of your article, though, but thought that there is a brighter, more positive side which was missing.</p> <p>That's all,</p> <p>Happy writing,</p> <p>Umps. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1642#post-4975 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 02:49:45 +0000 rfreed 4975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr. Umpire,<br /> I don't get what you mean. There is no mention of a charity in the article.<br /> rfreed </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1642#post-4565 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 04:23:18 +0000 theumpire 4565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dear Mr Reed,<br /> cc: Mr Square</p> <p>I'll have another pint of bitter, please. And don't spit in it this time!</p> <p>By the way, if you work for a charity, how do you make "Life Miserable For The Downtrodden And Homeless"?</p> <p>Yours truly,</p> <p>Umpire. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1642#post-4563 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 03:08:15 +0000 rfreed 4563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The following procedures are already being followed by millions of your fellow human beings in minor positions of power:</p> <p>If you are a big employer be sure to lay off people rather than let the shareholders take a hit on their stocks. Business is always more important than people.<br /> If you are a bank or financial institution since you are not making investments in this recession cannibalize your own customers more for services. Sneak in extra charges when you can. Siphon off as much as possible from them. They are poorer and not as financially savvy as regular bank people so they will not make as much of a fuss. Also be sure to continue to foreclose on houses and properties even though they will stand empty and will be vandalized. It will still give you a wonderful sense of empowerment and control over other people. Plus you can sneak that hot secretary over to an empty property for a quick bit of fun.<br /> If you are a city manager or in the law enforcement business be sure to ignore or push around homeless people. They don't have any power, so why be nice to them? They are also an eyesore to those upper class and business people who so control the economy that it creates homeless people in the first place. They don't need to see them rotting slowly on the city streets that they now own. Who knows when the sight of them might trigger some unknown, long forgotten sense of conscience inside and make them do something for them that might actually cost money?<br /> If you a State Unemployment worker be sure to make the system of getting unemployment as difficult as possible. Harass those needing the benefits as much as possible by docking their money if they move or if they accidentally give you inaccurate information. If they find a few hours casual labor be sure to dock their benefits to keep them at a desperate survival level. If they do the least little thing wrong in filing a claim dock their check until they spend hours trying to contact you in the during the small window that your office is open to fielding calls. This way they will die off quicker and leave more money in the system to pay your higher than normal office worker wages. If done right their whole family will starve off and the there will be even more money to use for your annual paid vacations and retirement!<br /> If you are a business be sure to advertise for jobs that you do not have a present need for just to keep a stock of applications on hand. This way those needing a job will waste their time coming in and filling out applications thus prolonging the time it will take them to get a real job.<br /> If you are a health care facility be sure to reject those who have no insurance. In their weakened condition they probably won't be able to hold a job that gives benefits anyway. This way they will die off earlier and save you a lot of trouble and will spare medicine for patients that can afford your exorbitant costs.<br /> If you are a governmental taxing agency be sure to tax people at least twice on any income they have. For instance after some one pays income tax and then puts his earnings into a savings account be sure to tax any interest he makes on that as well. By all means tax people on their unemployment checks! Can't have people having to much money now, can we? Tax them also on any perks they may have gotten during the year such as tips or prize money that they have won. And God forbid should anyone barter anything with anyone and not pay tax on it! Why, that would be like stealing from the government! </p>