http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=pirates The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 16:33:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60848#post-176683 Sun, 05 May 2013 16:28:20 +0000 Danny 176683@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha ha thanks Sinnick, I hadn't seen the video! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60848#post-176663 Sun, 05 May 2013 07:00:08 +0000 Sinnick 176663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22391155" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22391155</a></p> <p>Why would the WI be interested in a talk about "Ladies of the night of North Devon" ? What's wrong with South Devon ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60848#post-176661 Sun, 05 May 2013 06:44:33 +0000 Titus 176661@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this not a Truebiscuit? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60848#post-176660 Sun, 05 May 2013 05:51:08 +0000 Ironduke 176660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60848#post-176624 Sat, 04 May 2013 14:45:25 +0000 Danny 176624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A Women's Institute have apologised after blacking up and carrying fake AK-47 machine guns to look like Somali pirates when attending a talk on piracy. </p> <p>Once the North Devon WI branch realised that former sea captain Colin Darch, 75, was reading extracts from his book about his horrifying 47 day ordeal at the hands of Somali kidnappers they realised they'd made an awful mistake.</p> <p>The WI treasurer said, "In rural Devon people often black up and no one ever complains, but when we noticed that our outfits were giving the poor man post traumatic flash-backs and he was breaking out in a cold sweat we understood that, given the context, our outfits were inappropriate."</p> <p>"We're also going to reconsider wearing the Nazi costumes we've ordered for the holocaust survivor who is coming to speak to us next week." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87204 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 15:55:29 +0000 tvhack 87204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rickewestwell, I only joined this website yesterday and have been blissfully unaware of your work until two minutes ago. Sorry if you used the phrase before, but it sprang into my mind independently from you, strange as that may seem. But if any book of quotations wants to use it, I'll happily cede that you got there first. Cheers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87188 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 12:46:44 +0000 rickwestwell 87188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Time bomb waiting to happen", eh? Hmm.</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18094#post-48648">Time bomb waiting to happen</a></p> <p>Co-inky-dinky. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87185 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 12:27:00 +0000 tvhack 87185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>IMHO, you're probably right. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87154 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 09:02:23 +0000 writinginbsl 87154@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> lots of stars</p> <p>but could better if be written in a more detatched way IMHO </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87105 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:04:07 +0000 Screenie 87105@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, and by 50% do you mean the top half or the bottom? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87104 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:02:59 +0000 Screenie 87104@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Advanced forms of modern guesswork'. Stars for that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87102 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 22:51:25 +0000 dvo4fun 87102@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This one had me chuckling and wobbling from start to finish. Have some high-fat stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87086 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:24:54 +0000 FlashArry 87086@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The combination of perky breasts and lego was always going to be a winner for me - 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30915#post-87083 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 19:00:42 +0000 tvhack 87083@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"It's a plastic time bomb waiting to happen," - not the words of a shrieking 24-hour rolling-news-harpie with a spray-tanned botoxed face and perky 'look-at-me' silicon breasts barely constrained by crisp white blouse, but the sober conclusion of an academically-respected institution that eats life and shits facts. Swaffham University, long recognised as the leading research institution in the country specialising in the study of children's plastic figures, has published the findings of a 5-year study into the changing shape of Lego characters. Their conclusion, based on computer modelling and the most advanced forms of modern guesswork, predicts that half of the all Lego figures will suffer from 'Legobesity' by the year 2030. It means a generation of fat pirates, rotund construction workers, and a set of Stars figures that will require an Extra Large in Death Stars, Tie Fighters and Jedi Knight Robes. </p> <p>Its thought that the problem may be caused by exposure to human beings. 'Lego characters are merely a representation of the human form in plastic. It's no surprise that they are adapting to reflect the fact that we are becoming huge waddling bags of undifferentiated saturated fat,' says the report.</p> <p>The problem was first noted in 'Weebles', which tended to wobble but not fall down. However, in subsequent years, it has emerged among other plastic figures in the Sylvanian community, the Action man range and Katie Price.</p> <p>It's understood that the research group will turn their attention next to premature hair-loss among gonks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70460 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:53:33 +0000 Dick Everyman 70460@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the tip VCG! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70440 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:13:03 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 70440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can edit it for 6 hours after you post it. I very rarely leave anything as it was when I originally posted it, either adding/stealing suggestions from other people, putting something else in that I didn't think of at first, or just tidying it up a bit having read it back. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70438 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:09:39 +0000 Dick Everyman 70438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, agree with both of you. I enjoyed writing it but published it too soon methinks so need to hold back next time!!! Liked the idea of pirates meeting their match. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70423 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:38:15 +0000 bonjonelson 70423@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>or the pirates being outgunned by the locals?</p> <p>The punchline doesn't work, unfortunately </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70412 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:57:20 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 70412@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree with Bonjo, very good idea but maybe needs a little work.</p> <p>Perhaps something about the pirates having boarded armed with a variety of weapons but then finding that they had been stolen by the scousers? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70405 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:37:46 +0000 Dick Everyman 70405@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for comments Bonjo ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70400 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:10:41 +0000 bonjonelson 70400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>needs a little work, but has potential. Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70395 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 09:57:31 +0000 Dick Everyman 70395@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A passenger ferry crossing from Liverpool to Birkenhead was stormed by Somali pirates last night with more than thirty passengers and crew on board. The Manchester Ship Canal is now on full alert after a group of militia men armed with AK47’s hijacked the ferry apparently disguised as Ken Dodd lookalikes.</p> <p>Eye witness, Pete Donoghue said, “I was on my way back from Harry Ramsdens feeling a bit bloated like when I saw these guys in a big rubber dinghy smashing into the side of the ferry. A couple of the passengers helped them up. They must have thought it was a stag do gone wrong or something.”</p> <p>Port officials and Merseyside police have confirmed that thirty people are being held by the pirates and, in a dramatic phone call from one passenger to his girlfriend he said that a large amount of bling had already been stolen from passengers, but this was before the hijackers had boarded the vessel.</p> <p>In a statement to the Commons Stephen Twigg, Labour MP for Liverpool West Derby, said. “I am very concerned that innocent Liverpudlians have been caught up in this situation and need to establish if this is related to recent cuts to British Waterways’ budgets. However if Somali pirates continue to come to Liverpool they can expect a proper Kirby kiss.”</p> <p>There are now serious concerns that essential food aid shipments to Liverpool and Manchester will be affected if piracy begins to take hold in the region. </p> <p>Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist reports received from the International Maritime Organisation state that a Liverpool registered vessel has been involved in pirate attacks on merchant ships in Somali territorial waters. A senior port official in Mogadishu said, “If there’s any robbing to do around here we don’t want any Scousers sticking their oar in, thank you very much.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22293#post-60215 Tue, 08 Mar 2011 18:33:40 +0000 spiraldrain 60215@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Insurance giant <strong>AIG</strong> has announced details of its latest advertising campaign. In a controversial move, the online campaign will feature Somali pirates recommending AIG's online only kidnap and ransom products with the tag line "Get it quick, get out quick". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16053#post-43515 Wed, 17 Nov 2010 15:32:47 +0000 brownpaperreporter 43515@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Somali Pirate Ship in a bottle any good to you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16053#post-43509 Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:39:06 +0000 arrghgarry 43509@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice 5 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16053#post-43508 Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:27:56 +0000 Oxbridge 43508@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>McKinley Moore, a Swindon-based PR agency, has taken on its biggest challenge in its five year history. Fresh from driving the advertising campaign that gave Wella shampoo a 2% increase in its market share in southern England, the company is preparing to tackle the overwhelmingly hostile public perception of Somali pirates by taking on a new account from the National Association of Pirates in Somalia (NPAS).</p> <p>'This is the big one, there's no doubt,' said Gideon Moore, managing director of the firm. 'We find that the image of the pirates is mainly associated with such negatives as extortion and mass murder - and I'll be the first to admit that some of them have not given much thought to how their brand is perceived in some of its most important export markets. But we think we can do it.'</p> <p>The first step in the campaign will be a poster blitz on the underground. Featuring a Somali tribesman in combat fatigues but with his AK-47 held in a non-threatening position to his left-hand side below the tagline 'The pirates want a khat with you'. </p> <p>'It's deliberately ambiguous,' explained Moore. 'On the one hand, it's designed to appeal to urban hipsters by seemingly inviting them to share their drugs, because khat is the hallucinogenic leaf they chew, while on the other it's friendly and welcoming because it's actually pronounced 'chat'. Actually, maybe explaining all those details should be the first step, come to think of it. I'll get back to you on that.'</p> <p>To build on more positive perceptions of sea-borne robbery and mayhem, Somali pirates are also to be educated in the traditional garb of three-cornered black hats and eyepatches and will be tutored to address the world press in a 17th century Bristol accent. This will be rolled out gradually over the next nine months ahead of a full-scale media blitz to coincide with International Talk Like a Pirate Day next September.</p> <p>'I must admit,' said Somali gang leader and NAP director-general Hussein Idriss, 'I was sceptical about taking on a PR agency at first but this recent case with that British couple has got people saying some terribly hurtful things about us. There is so much more to modern African piracy than macho posturing, kidnapping and nihilistic violence and that's the message we've got to get across.</p> <p>Added Idriss: 'Yaaaaaaarrrrrrr!' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8857#post-23764 Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:37:43 +0000 Bury Bob 23764@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scurrilous eyepatch wearing pirates have motioned a protest against the plethora of 3D movies in our cinemas this summer. Johnny Depp, famous for his role as Jack Sparrow from the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies has been nominated as spokesman for the Pirates, Brigands &amp; Corsairs in their demand for equality. "Only being able to use one eye detracts somewhat from the three dimensional visual experience", he growled. When we asked why so many pirates were flocking to see childrens animated movies such as Shrek XIV, Toy Story XXIV &amp; Saw MCMLX, he replied "Because they Arghhh!". So we shot him. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=617#post-15984 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 09:48:06 +0000 virtuallywill 15984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They are still being held, but it is no longer news. Sign of the times when a topical news story has an out of date Prime Minister. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1929#post-5717 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:00:06 +0000 TerribleTim 5717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More soon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=591#post-2058 Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:00:51 +0000 simonjmr 2058@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>System<br /> To<br /> Usually<br /> Manage<br /> Prosthetics </p>