http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=peter-andre The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 15:09:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31687#post-89679 Sat, 08 Oct 2011 15:35:35 +0000 delightfullyodd 89679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The BBC today have announced that pop-sensation, Peter Andre, is to be the new host of flagship quiz show Mastermind. The news comes on the back of a radical shake up by the publicly owned corporation after it was announced that they would be axing upto 3000 jobs by 2015. </p> <p>Current host John Humphreys is said to be fuming at being booted for "that Aussie prick" and has instructed his lawyers to appeal against the decision. A spokesperson for the Welsh broadcaster said: "We can confirm that John Humphreys will no longer be the host of Mastermind and the BBC have brought in Peter Andre as his replacement. John is furious at the treatment he has received and has instructed his legal team to deal with this."</p> <p>Meanwhile, Cypriot-Aussie, Peter Andre is said to be "absolutely stoked" at being offered the job. A spokeswoman for Andre said: "Peter Andre has been offered the job as host of Mastermind. He is over the moon at this and is looking forward to allowing his fans to see his intellectual side."</p> <p>Fans of Andre were jubilant with one on twitter stating: "Pete to host Mastermind. I dunno wot sho tht is but I bet its gonna be betr now with him on it. Go pete luv ya!" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9152#post-24606 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:22:02 +0000 Zadok the second 24606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Starrage. Bonus points for Morgan Stanley Dean Witter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9152#post-24568 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:30:15 +0000 jp1885 24568@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The media circus surrounding pop sensation Peter Andre since the break up of his marriage to model Jordan has gone into overdrive today, after the singer admitted that the inspiration behind his 1995 hit Mysterious Girl wasn't actually as enigmatic as his lyrics make out.</p> <p>Speaking on the popular breakfast show GMTV, Andre, famous as much for his six-pack stomach as his string of top ten hits, told presenter Kate Garraway how he first met his muse whilst holidaying on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia. 'Occasionally I'd catch her eye over the breakfast counter at the hotel,' he revealed, 'I kept thinking to myself: 'who is that mysterious girl?' Inspired I started writing the song that very afternoon.'</p> <p>However, Andre went on to reveal how the more he got talking to this unknown female, the less mysterious she became. 'I was like 'whoah slow down! I don't need to know all this!' But every time we met up for a drink she kept telling me extra bits about herself.' To illustrate his point, the singer then showed Garraway a first draft of the song, bearing the chorus 'Whoooooooah, Sharon from Stockport, I wanna get close to you.'</p> <p>'Hardly the tale of worship-you-from-afar tropical beauty I was aiming for,' Andre continued, 'but every time we got together it was again with the life story. Guest vocalist Bubbler Ranx would've looked a right idiot singing about her day job at the dry cleaners I can tell you. And the saga of her neighbour's cat getting in the bins - hardly love song material is it? Or the fact that she took it up the Morgan Stanley Dean Witter - yeah it was great at the time, but does the media really want to hear about that kind of thing? Less is more love, less is more.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=314#post-984 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:14:30 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is extremely witty and I may be obliged to put you on "RSS" feed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=314#post-934 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:37:56 +0000 Ludicity 934@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“It was horrendous,” said fellow presenter Adam Boulton, “Kay was just standing there when I heard the noise of breaking news. By the time I turned round, the entire wall had collapsed and she had been crushed by the full weight of events.”</p> <p>The Sky News presenter, now trapped under the rubble of the giant interactive video screen, continues to give regular live updates. “I am reporting to you quite literally from inside the news,” said Burley, “around me all I can see are the shattered remains of events, stories that have been tragically cut off in their prime, news items that will never now see the light of day. But one story remains. A story of hope. A story of triumph over disaster. And that story is me.” </p> <p>A search and rescue operation is already underway, led by Sky Weatherman, and all action hero, Francis Wilson. “If I have to pull the rubble apart with my bare hands then I will do it,” said Wilson, ripping off his shirt and adjusting his hair, “I will do whatever it takes to save that woman.” </p> <p>There is increasing concern that Burley, who is caught within a multi-media air pocket, will soon run out of the oxygen of publicity. “We will report on her plight for as long as we can,” said Dermot Murnaghan, “but, inevitably, there will be a point when we get bored of her and move on to another more important story. We can only hope and pray that during this critical period all sports stars stop having affairs.”</p> <p>It is unclear what caused the News Wall to collapse although many had warned that it was structurally unsound. “A lot of the wall was held together by much weaker items that were not made of actual news,” said media expert, Raymond Snoddy, “Within the rubble we have already found the remnants of celebrity gossip, tittle tattle and idle speculation. These features will have severely undermined the integrity of the wall and made it vulnerable to collapse.” </p> <p>Hopes were beginning to fade for Burley last night, who is being kept alive by a 24 hour news feed. “We don’t know how long she can survive in there,” said a tearful Eamonn Holmes, “but we really need to get her out soon because tomorrow she’s got a very big interview with Peter Andre.” </p>