http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=paedophile-panic-button The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 20:46:33 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1237#post-3303 Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:19:30 +0000 edward hack 3303@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Papal Noncio' alone gets a galaxy full of stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1237#post-3300 Sun, 21 Mar 2010 08:58:59 +0000 Ludicity 3300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many thanks. I think I might pitch this one to Dragons Den. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1237#post-3238 Sat, 20 Mar 2010 15:32:27 +0000 malgor 3238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A Message To You, Ludi: 'Stop your messin' around, a-ha.' Far too good. I shall have to vote twice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1237#post-3235 Sat, 20 Mar 2010 14:40:25 +0000 Ludicity 3235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pope Benedict XVI has announced plans for all Roman Catholic clergy to be installed with a special ‘panic button’ that will allow users to report suspected paedophiles. </p> <p>In a pastoral email, the Holy Pontiff revealed that the emergency button would be accessible at the bottom right hand side of all cassocks, providing a direct link to CEOP – the Catholic Exploitation and Online Protection centre. </p> <p>The Pope assured the faithful that the button would mean an end to any more cover-ups: ‘Every complaint registered with us will be thoroughly investigated,’ he promised, ‘by our newly appointed Papal Noncio.’ </p> <p>Father Flynn O’Flaherty, head of CEOP, welcomed the decision. ‘With over 1 billion users worldwide, Catholicism is one of the largest social networking sites. It is therefore imperative that we make it look like a safe environment for all our users.’ </p> <p>Experts believe that the ‘panic button’ will help to deter offenders because once pressed it not only contacts CEOP but also sends a 2000 watt electric charge to the offender’s genitals.</p> <p>However, some clergy have raised objections to the button. ‘We already have a number of measures in place,’ said one anonymous Irish Cardinal, ‘I have a ‘privacy button’ which allows people to raise any concerns about my behaviour. All I ask is that anyone wishing to lodge a complaint agrees to sign a legally binding confidentiality clause.’</p> <p>‘From next year all our priests, bishops and cardinals will be expected to carry the new CEOP icon’ said a Vatican representative, ‘for many years our clergy have carried religious icons but these have not had as much effect on their behaviour as we might have hoped.’</p> <p>The new 'panic button', featuring the image of a 'Smiley Pope', also gives users instant access to CSI-Vatican – a crack team of cardinals who will visit the scene of the crime and, using the very latest forensic techniques, miraculously find no evidence whatsoever. </p>