http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=oil The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 08:24:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178496 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:20:19 +0000 brianflan 178496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks BJ but I find bumps quite self-indulgent....oh wait </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178386 Thu, 16 May 2013 14:32:39 +0000 beau-jolly 178386@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bump </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178364 Thu, 16 May 2013 12:39:15 +0000 beau-jolly 178364@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ace. Let's keep bumping this to the top until its picked up by the editors. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178359 Thu, 16 May 2013 12:27:04 +0000 brianflan 178359@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well the original story didn't quite go global ...it made it as far as Papua New Guinea </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178184 Wed, 15 May 2013 14:11:54 +0000 sredni vashta 178184@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Divinely inspired. 5 stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178168 Wed, 15 May 2013 12:17:29 +0000 brianflan 178168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just a play on a story from down under before yet another tale of blind faith goes global........ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61290#post-178167 Wed, 15 May 2013 12:16:52 +0000 brianflan 178167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The owners of a 2006 Hyundai Getz have claimed strange things happen to their car, as tens-of-thousands of true believers flock there to see what it is.</p> <p>Owners Cherry and Mark Pye claim the miracles began soon after their 21-year-old son Alan was killed in a car accident last year. Soon after his death, they reported oil weeping from 1.3L engine of their Hyundai. The family believes Alan is responsible for the oil and is his way of communicating through Jesus.</p> <p>Word spread and believers came flocking to 84 Wadhurst Way in Butler Western Australia to see for themselves.</p> <p>The family claims there's a lot more than oil leaks, such as the box for the air filter that has barcode numbers significant in scripture and the radio aerial fashioned from a coat hangar that looks “just like the crucifix on which Jesus died.”</p> <p>"Many miracles happen all the time.” Added Mrs Pye. “This oil has appeared every Tuesday, coincidently just before Mark is due to see his Probation Officer. The other day for instance the low petrol light came, yet we made it all the way from Woolworths to the bottle shop before we got to the petrol station" she said.</p> <p>Mr Pye claims the oil is holy. "No one can touch it. Many times people have seen the oil come alive, usually when we put a match to it. It’s like Moses and the burning bush trying to tell us something we can’t yet work out but at $5 a guess I am sure someone will pass on a profound message at some point,” he said.</p> <p>The mysterious incidences at the Pye's house have created some kind of phenomena. They've had around 200 people a week visit their house to see the oil, and have sold more than 1.5 million cotton buds, which have been dipped in the 'miracle oil' for people to take home.</p> <p>The oil has been scientifically tested, and was found to be a mix of oil and dust, but no one could say where it was coming from.</p> <p>Nijel Thorpe, president of The Australian Skeptics, has his own theory.<br /> "Quite frankly, it looks like the engine has got a leak," he said. “There isn't a single area of the garage that isn't covered in oil.” </p> <p>Mr Pye says the largest patch is a caricature of Jesus. Mr Saunders suggests it looks more like an irregular quadrilateral. “Jesus is represented in a number of ways.” Replied Mr Pye indignantly</p> <p>BF </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41776#post-119155 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 17:41:49 +0000 HenryMJUK 119155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Spain has today told Argentina to stop using Spanish as it’s language of choice (or give back the shares it has stolen YPF - the oil company owned by Repsol).</p> <p>They have until midnight to make their mind up.</p> <p>The decision is simple, said a spokeperson for the Spanish Government, it shouldn’t take them too long to weigh up the consequences – we have suggested they adopt Esperanto or Latin as neither are in use and immediately available. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38807#post-109926 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:38:00 +0000 HenryMJUK 109926@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A spokesperson said “the problem is … it’s Iranian Diesel and it’s in high demand in the UK, everybody loves it, in fact, they can’t get enough of it. </p> <p>But the good news is, that we only have 3,500 billion litres stockpiled and (after August 2012) we won’t be able to get anymore. We’ll have to revert to Scottish or Libyian Diesel – but as they say – every silver camel has a lining – the price will only be 3p per litre before duty and VAT is added".</p> <p><a href="http://easyforexguides.com/diesel-price-at-new-record-high/" rel="nofollow">http://easyforexguides.com/diesel-price-at-new-record-high/</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24133#post-65930 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:19:11 +0000 arthurminnit 65930@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The cheeky bastard has just thrown a load of dog crap into our garden!<br /> at least I had the good manners to post it through his letter box in the first place, I didnt just throw it willy nilly!<br /> Bloody immigrants got no idea how to behave! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24133#post-65857 Sat, 23 Apr 2011 14:34:20 +0000 Jonny Rockets 65857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br /> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24133#post-65602 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 08:15:17 +0000 Jonny Rockets 65602@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This certainly could be a factor providing that close to two billion olives are consumed in one sitting. In Greece, olive oil consumption is known to exceed seventeen gallons per person every year. Couple this with the ingestion of unprocessed olives and the rubbing of olive oil on the body and you have some information that probably means something to a scientist. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24133#post-65596 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 07:27:23 +0000 arthurminnit 65596@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>is this why mediterranean types are so volatile?<br /> we have one living next door, a Maltese i think, im not sure as i never speak to the swarthy bastard.<br /> anyway, he flies right off the handle when my kids throw their chip wrappers over his garden, and i have SEEN the olive oil bottles in his wheelie bin when im looking through it for evidence that he is here illegally!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24133#post-65581 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:11:11 +0000 Jonny Rockets 65581@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scientists in England at the University of Reading have found new evidence to support the suspected theory that eating olives causes a person to become insane. The high levels of oil found in green olives produce a reaction in mammals’ brains when consumed in very high doses. It had previously proved impossible for scientists to administer a high enough dose of olives, even to an animal as small as a rat, to verify the alleged effects. Previous attempts had lead to various failures including overweight rats and one rat that exploded after being force fed over one thousand Greek Kalamata olives, famous for their use in the Greek olive oil industry. </p> <p>Now, however, a method of concentrating olives into a liquid that can be injected, has been developed, a true breakthrough in the field of olive related psychosis. One dosage of the compressed oils contains over one million giant green Mammoth olives from the Puglia region of southern Italy. Injected into a rat the results are quite astonishing. Speaking on behalf on the research team in Berkshire, Dr. Charles Alimony reported that upon receiving the injection ‘the animal went quite insane, it ate its own tail; no sane animal would do this’. A breakthrough as important as this one will always gain negative attention alongside the positive. Mr. Barry Eleven of the RSPCA asserted that ‘a rat being made to eat her own tail is no more acceptable than a human being made to eat his own balls.’ </p> <p>Experiments on humans are to begin soon, and it is expected that the number of olives required to create a dose powerful enough to affect the average male human will reach over two billion. As this ground breaking research is still incomplete, the researchers are advising the public to keep a watchful eye on olive intake, as the suspected dangerous effects of high consumption are now very real. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9763#post-26407 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 20:28:27 +0000 topbrief 26407@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Further oil on BP's troubled waters....</strong></p> <p>With the leaking oil well now apparently successfully plugged it might have looked as though BP’s troubles were now all behind them. The dismissal of the Chief Executive, Tony Hayward looked as though it was the final chapter in a year that had seen the corporation’s reputation tarnished by a massive environmental disaster and murky rumours about the company’s apparent influence over the Scottish Government’s controversial decision last year to allow the premature release of convicted Libyan terrorist Abdelbaset al-Megrahi. </p> <p>But just when the Board of Directors might have thought they’d got their lives back a new set of problems has appeared on the horizon.</p> <p>A leading academic has now uncovered evidence which suggests that the company may well have played a pivotal role in events which led to the crack appearing in that most sacred of American icons - The Liberty Bell.</p> <p><img src="http://emails.wexas.com/images/destinations/United-States/Philadelphia_LibertyBell.jpg"></p> <p>Professor Stephen Carillon, a tintinologist at the University of Philadelphia, has uncovered documents from the city archives dating back almost ninety years and which appears to cast doubt on the original version of events. History had suggested that the crack simply appeared during testing, shortly after the bell had been hung from temporary scaffolding near to the State House in Philadephia, but Professor Carillon says that simply doesn’t ring true.</p> <p>Pointing to the dusty pile of papers in his cramped office he posits, in his Southern drawl, an alternative theory; <blockquote><em>‘Well these records go back to the very beginning of our civilisation – they’re almost one hundred years old – and they show that the bell came from London not far from the present offices of BP. Stands to reason they had something to do with it - don’t it?’</em></blockquote></p> <p>Sure enough, our own enquiries confirm that BP’s global headquarters in St James’ in London are less than four miles away from the Whitechapel Foundary where, in 1752, the bell was cast.</p> <p>And, if further proof were needed, Professor Carillon explains how the bell was brought over from England in a boat called <em>Hibernia</em> – the Latin name for Ireland – a place which has been visited on more than one occasion by BP’s gaffe-prone former boss Tony Hayward.</p> <p>No-one from BP was available for comment today. On Wall Street the market reacted poorly to this latest piece of bad news and the BP share price continued to fall all day until the market’s closing bell rang.</p> <p>Meanwhile, in New York, a team of international scientists are meeting to discuss emerging evidence which suggests BP has a history littered with the disasters of deep sea oil drilling. According to records kept at Companies House in London, in 1911 the company commissioned a rig called ‘<em>Eisberg</em>’ to drill for oil in the mid-Atlantic. Radio contact with the rig was suddenly lost one night in mid-April 1912 and no trace of the men aboard was ever found. Unhappily, the sinking of RMS Titanic in the same area at the same time meant that rescue efforts were diverted to assist the passengers of that ill-fated ship. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8957#post-24003 Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:49:57 +0000 mr_lizard13 24003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Supermarket behemoth Tesco has inadvertently solved the BP oil crisis by building a store over the ruptured well. </p> <p>The new outlet, the latest in Tesco's seabed store concept, has brought timely good news for British Prime Minister David Cameron who is currently visiting the US for some reason.</p> <p>Shares in BP climbed on the news, with the oil giant's CEO Tony Hayward apparently sighing "thank f*ck for that, I've got my life back". Markets have been rife with speculation of a possible takeover of BP, whose shares have plummeted in value since the start of the crisis in April.</p> <p>"It's a bit of a mixed feeling to be honest", said a Tesco spokesman. "We had been hoping to buy BP and build a big petrol station around it. But not now the price has gone up."</p> <p>A press release confirmed the new store has purged the spill, which has destroyed miles of coastline and laminated thousands of fluffy birds. "It was never our intention to solve the oil disaster" read the note to investors, adding "in fact, we had no idea that bit of the ocean floor was where the hole was. We're just chucking these stores all over the place as fast as we can. </p> <p>"If we don't do it, Starbucks will." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7514#post-20248 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 21:08:31 +0000 nabidana 20248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chief Executive of BP Tony Hayward has startled critics by demanding the return of BP’s oil washed up in marshland and beaches across the American Gulf coast.</p> <p>Speaking at a key shareholders meeting in London, Mr. Hayward showed images of sea birds coated in the foul-smelling brown emulsified slime being leached into the Atlantic, and demanded their delivery to a BP depot recently established in Tampa, Florida.</p> <p>“The fact is, whether it’s stuck to the majestic cormorant or slathered on the wings of seagulls, that precious, precious oil belongs to BP, and we have a right to have it back. Theft by finding is still theft in the USA, and our shareholders have a right to the return of our product.”</p> <p>Mr Hayward went on to show images of relief workers pouring the gelatinous substance into barrels.</p> <p>“This is disgraceful. The federal authorities in the USA are quite simply encouraging people to steal our oil. It’s ours. I want my oil back.”</p> <p>Mr Hayward’s presentation was followed by BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg, who gave an updated appraisal of the situation on the ground in the Gulf coastal region.</p> <p>“All in all, things are looking up for the small people in America. Your beaches, your beautiful seabirds and your wonderful, succulent shrimp are, thanks to the work of BP, now among the best lubricated on Earth. Frankly, I don’t know what Your President’s banging on about. But Tony’s right- we want our oil back, small people.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6235#post-17029 Sat, 12 Jun 2010 11:09:30 +0000 jkdune 17029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>BP, Britain’s largest oil company and one of the world’s environmental thought-leaders, has suffered a major setback in their latest attempt to save the world from climate change.</p> <p>Having been greatly concerned by the environmental cost of transporting crude oil via pipe lines, BP’s CEO Tony Hayward sought a more natural means to distribute fossil fuels. Inspired by BP’s recent sweeping changes and new large-scale commitments to renewable energy sources, Hayward turned to the natural power of the sea to revolutionise oil transportation.</p> <p>The Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico was chosen as the site for BP’s first experiment, and on April 22 the rig was submerged to allow crude oil to flow into the surrounding waters. Hayward described the plan as “groundbreaking” and “very exciting” at a press conference the following day.</p> <p>“We expect that the ocean currents in that area will direct several streams of oil to various points along the east coast of the USA, to Mexico and to Brazil.”</p> <p>Hayward also indicated that BP, originally known as British Petroleum and more recently Beyond Petroleum, might change its name to Beyond Pipelines if the experiment proved to be successful.</p> <p>However, BP’s faith in the environment’s ability to reliably organise the distribution of 500,000 gallons of crude oil per day appears to have been misplaced. Instead of sending neat streams to the required locations, the forces of nature have allocated the vast majority of the oil to the state of Louisiana. Hayward admitted to reporters yesterday that nature had “got it all wrong”.</p> <p>“Louisiana simply doesn’t need that much oil. It’s a huge waste. There are shortages all along the east coast, while in Louisiana they have more than they could ever have dreamt. Even the wildlife is rolling in the stuff.”</p> <p>BP and other environmentalist groups have now expressed fears that the failed operation could lead to a public backlash. Rex Tillerson, CEO of Exxon Mobil, has been vocal about his concerns. “We worry that people will lose faith in the reliability of water. This distribution error on the part of nature could have serious repercussions for our hydroelectricity programme.”</p> <p>Efforts are now being directed to the recapture of released oil in order to limit the damage done to nature’s reputation. Early reports suggest that the Lower Marine Riser Package Cap Containment System could be capturing as much as 462,000 gallons of oil per day. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4594#post-12886 Mon, 17 May 2010 09:30:54 +0000 Mrblacker 12886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For generations mothers have used it to smooth their child's skin and porn stars have wrestled in it.</p> <p>But now the world's supply of baby oil is under threat from human rights activists, who claim the method of production is inhumane.</p> <p>Alice Heathcote-Smythe from the Free World Coalition is to address a meeting of the United Nations next week, calling on all governments to outlaw the production of the product on the grounds of cruelty.</p> <p>"For too long, people have suffered to make this oil and it's about time the world woke up and took notice." she says.</p> <p>"I can't believe that in the 21st century we allow such abuse to continue in the name of profit."</p> <p>The current method of baby oil production is to compress as baby no more than 18 months old under huge weights until the liquid runs out. The world's largest producers are Brazil and China, where it's estimated 5 thousand children a day are drilled for oil.</p> <p>SC Johnson (a family company) sells more baby oil than any other manufacturer. </p> <p>Spokesman Ted Johnson (no relation) said the firm was watching the debate closely and would give a considered 'sod off' afterwards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3853#post-11027 Wed, 05 May 2010 22:55:13 +0000 MightyBlair 11027@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More Soon. </p>