http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=ofcom The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 14:47:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29406#post-82567 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 06:24:17 +0000 Steve Wilson 82567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Telecom's giant TalkTalk last night received Ofcoms prestigious NTL award at a star studded show where excited crowds showered them with shredded incorrect bills and threatening legal letters.<br /> 'It was an incredible experience,' wept Mark Shister head of Customer aggravation at TalkTalk. 'We had work long and hard on new innovations to alienate our customers and now it's all paid off big time. The NTL award for treating your customer like shit is the Oscars of our industry.'<br /> Announcing the award Rupert Murdock praised the telecoms company for filling the shoes left by the Industry greatest star NTL.<br /> 'When we lost NTL to those wimps Virgin,' he sobbed, 'nobody knew who would step up to abuse, demoralise and totally humiliated their customer base with cons lies and false accounting. That TalkTalk have done this with real commitment has returned faith in criminal activity amongst large multi-national companies.'<br /> TalkTalk reiterated how chuffed they were to get the new award but seemed perplexed that they had to pay 3 million pound to the government to be allowed to collect it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13398#post-36466 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:02:04 +0000 SingingHinny 36466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bump </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13398#post-36401 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 04:21:57 +0000 SingingHinny 36401@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The British public are being asked to maintain ‘extreme vigilance’ and report anything ‘suspicious or unusual’ after intelligence received by the communications regulatory body OFCOM indicated that an attack of ‘vague yet highly charged and inflammatory language’ may occur ‘at any time.’ </p> <p>The announcement follows the Foreign and Commonwealth Office’s decision to increase the terrorism alert for British travelers from ‘general’ to ‘high.’ Travelers to European destinations such as France and Germany are being warned that there is a high risk of a ‘indiscriminate and devastating attack from Al Qaeda without warning.’ </p> <p>However, Ed Richards, the chief executive of OFCOM stated that, ‘It is at these times that the British people are most vulnerable to hyperbole, as the focus on the terrorist threat renders their ‘reactionary bullshit’ filters useless. We have therefore raised the “vague inflammatory language” alert-status in the hope that we can limit the number of people being afflicted by “inflammatory language-related xenophobia” whilst they are too busy looking for bona-fide Jihadists.’</p> <p>The Metropolitan Police have surprisingly supported the announcement from OFCOM, after their resources were stretched by an overnight surge in unsubstantiated reports of suspicious foreigners ‘who look like terrorists’ handing packages of ‘funny smelling hot stuff’ to people in numerous buildings advertising themselves as ‘takeaways.’</p> <p>Metropolitan Police Comissioner Paul Stephenson stated that, ‘the signs of “inflammatory language related xenophobia” are hard to spot at first; you may see people staring at unattended Macdonalds bags on a bus or avoiding anybody with a beard. </p> <p>‘There is a risk that this may progress to actual verbal abuse or physical violence towards appropriate minorities. If this occurs, please contact the police, or if possible attract the attention of a patrolling police officer. However, to avoid the chance of a critical misunderstanding, you should try to avoid officers carrying guns.’</p> <p>Police forces are around the country are,however, still stressing the need to remain aware of the threat from terrorists from within the UK. ‘In particular’, Stephenson explains, ‘those seen purchasing The Daily Mail and The Daily Express should not be approached under any circumstances as these fundamentalist zealots are likely to be highly volatile and could be extremely dangerous.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5505#post-15029 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:45:07 +0000 jp1885 15029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chortle! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5505#post-15009 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:45:47 +0000 Svendo 15009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OfCom issued a warning after ITV failed to broadcast a warning before the show that some scenes may contain images of Amanda Holden.<br /> ITV have since received 9 complaints which we hope will escalate to 40,000 by the time this article has been released.</p> <p>Shocked viewer Maureen Baker said "Seeing a man swallow a lightbulb is one thing, but then they cut away to that horrifying sight. I nearly dropped my chips". </p>