http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=newcastle The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 01:22:54 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39860#post-113074 Tue, 13 Mar 2012 21:00:56 +0000 Drylaw 113074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He's no mug that Fiennes. Imagine them slipping about on all that ice. You'd see it all man. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39860#post-113065 Tue, 13 Mar 2012 20:17:25 +0000 Mark Gregory 113065@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>To mark the 100th anniversary of Scott reaching Antarctica, Sir Ranulph Fiennes is seeking to recruit young women from Newcastle for his next trip to the South Pole. </p> <p>The veteran explorer said ‘Young lasses from the North East regularly go out clubbing on ‘the toon’ in the freezing cold wearing next to nothing’. They are accustomed to braving minus temperatures and seem to have resilience to lower temperatures that would be an advantage on the expedition’. </p> <p>A straw poll of young women from the Newcastle area however showed that the local females are unlikely to take up the challenge. </p> <p>Tracey BroonAle said ‘Hoo ye gannin, pet Them explorers are soft as shite man, wi all thi Peter Storm clobber. They shud tri a neet owt on lash wi’ just a mini skirt n skimpy top, hinny.’</p> <p>Critics of Fiennes say that his plan is a thinly disguised ruse to get attractive girls who like wearing next to nothing and having a few bevvies to brighten up his otherwise dull exploration. </p> <p>The explorer rebuked this suggestion, saying that these women regularly risk hypothermia and even frostbite in their pursuit of a good night out. </p> <p>The Haddock cannot confirm a rumour that Katy Price, Jennifer Ellison and Abi Titmus are to lead a team of adventurers to the North Pole later this summer. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88631 Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:36:52 +0000 dvo4fun 88631@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>and was able to buy himself a long-distance supersaver out of there. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88608 Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:37:58 +0000 bonjonelson 88608@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"This is not the first time that good fortune has struck the region - in 2005 an unemployed priest from Sunderland won £15 on a scratchcard." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88574 Mon, 03 Oct 2011 05:24:29 +0000 arthurminnit 88574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>was Kinder planned? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88566 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 21:40:02 +0000 delightfullyodd 88566@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In fairness John, the numbers mentioned above would make them intelligent if that were their IQ scores. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88555 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 20:55:03 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 88555@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Why have you told us their IQ scores? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88547 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 20:30:50 +0000 delightfullyodd 88547@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gerontius - I decided to take the Sunday tabloid approach to it and leave the story open to as much scrutiny as possible - but had I written it from The Guardian's point of view, then Kev's number 2 would have been mentioned.</p> <p>Arthurminnut - they have 4 children - Lambrini(5), Chanice(7), Sheera(8) and Kinder(10). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88539 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:20:45 +0000 borednow 88539@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>thought they might put a bid in for Newcastle Utd to buy out Mike Ashley<br /> Oh hang on they're going well at the moment so would've needed 4 numbers instead </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88500 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 10:05:58 +0000 Gerontius 88500@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>surely that's FOUR numbers if you count Kev's Number 2 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88497 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 09:55:05 +0000 arthurminnit 88497@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>and yet, no mention of Donna-Maries granddaughter, Lambrini (5). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31344#post-88479 Sun, 02 Oct 2011 07:59:49 +0000 delightfullyodd 88479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>IT was celebrations all round in the North East of England last night as Newcastle couple Kevin and Donna-Marie Hannaway matched 3 numbers on the Lotto main draw and won £10.</p> <p>Kevin,(32) and Donna-Marie,(19) expressed joy at their win and recalled how the found out.<br /> "We had been drinking all afternoon because the weather was roasting like and we had been sitting in the back garden," explains Kevin, "I had sent wor lass to the shop to get more beer and told her to stick a lucky dip on...and she did you know."</p> <p>Donna-Marie said:<br /> "Kev had went to the toilet because he said his guts were still nagging and he had the ticket in his pocket so I shouted up the numbers to him and he said that we had 3 numbers. I was pleased."</p> <p>The couple, who have 4 children, plan to spend their winnings on 20 cigarettes and a new lighter for Donna-Marie. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29702#post-83338 Thu, 25 Aug 2011 19:29:18 +0000 Mrblacker 83338@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Five starts for the headline alone </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29702#post-83336 Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:57:45 +0000 bonjonelson 83336@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don't know much about football, but I do appreciate stories about gits. Five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29702#post-83335 Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:52:58 +0000 rebel not taken 83335@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>QPR have signed Newcastle git Joey Barton.<br /> "I have always admired Joey as a git" said manager Neil Warnock.</p> <p>Barton will now be the highest earning git at QPR and fans are hoping the arrival of Joey will attract other big gits to the club:<br /> "We are hoping to get 4 or 5 more gits in before the transfer window closes" said Warnock.</p> <p>QPR have been talking with several other gits, including injured git Jimmy Bullard, who has recently been sacked by Hull:<br /> "We liked Jimmy as a git but we didn't feel he was a Premier League git" admitted the manager.</p> <p>Fans have been demanding quality gits and the arrival of Joey Barton should relieve the pressure on childish git Adel Taarabt:<br /> "If we can surround Adel with even bigger gits he will not be the only git here" revealed the canny Warnock.</p> <p>But Barton may not be the only big name git to move to Shepherd's Bush.</p> <p>Talks are being held with tiny git Sean Wright-Phillips and there are even rumours about sheepshagging git Craig Bellamy joining the QPR git revolution. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29635#post-83208 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:58:49 +0000 rebel not taken 83208@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>QPR have been given permission by Newcastle to 'have a word' with Joey Barton.</p> <p>The deep thinking Barton has recently converted to Existentialism and his constant soul searching has given bewildered Geordies the needle:<br /> "Joey's head has been turned by George Orwell" complained plebian Newcastle manager Alan Pardew</p> <p>Tough talking Joey, who has battled for freedom of speech on Twitter, has been censored by Newcastle after deconstructing the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche to his 500,000 followers:<br /> "Barton is talking bollocks" said Toon legend Alan Shearer after he was called a "slaphead" by alienated truth seeker Joey.</p> <p>But the well read midfield enforcer has struggled in the intellectual wasteland of Newcastle and is keen to pursue his existence in a more literary enviroment:<br /> "God is Dead. I want to play for QPR" tweeted @Joey7Barton.</p> <p>Free agent Barton hopes to 'live the dream' after discovering that QPR are travelling to Wigan this saturday:<br /> "The Road To Wigan Pier is right up there with Animal Farm" tweeted George Orwell fan Joey to Rangers' centre half Danny Shittu.</p> <p>Canny QPR manager Neil Warnock has told Joey Barton that moving to Shepherd's Bush would be "a perfect example of Jungian Synchronicity."</p> <p>And if Warnock can persuade Joey Barton to drop his £65,000 a week wage demand, QPR should be able to release the troubled scouser from his bleak Orwellian nightmare. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28804#post-82236 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:20:51 +0000 ronseal 82236@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm starting to like Joey Barton</p> <p>All the creepy corporate football establishment hate him</p> <p>Coca Cola will never sponsor him</p> <p>All today's goody bag and name tag schmoozers have collectively agreed that he shouldn't be allowed to play football.</p> <p>Or even try to read a book.</p> <p>I'm starting to like this man.</p> <p>(No, I'm not defending whatever he did) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28804#post-82223 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:07:29 +0000 Golgo13 82223@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28804#post-80757 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 09:49:31 +0000 ronseal 80757@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>like it</p> <p>Hang on though. We all sneer at footballers for their narrow horizons. But when he actually does something about it, we hate them even more </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28804#post-80756 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 09:44:11 +0000 rebel not taken 80756@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Alienated Newcastle footballer Joey Barton has been telling followers on Twitter about his "respect" for German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.</p> <p>Scouser Barton has informed his 170,665 readers that the author of Beyond Good And Evil was "a real nutter" who in his prime was "as hard as Vinnie Jones".</p> <p>Tough tackling Joey openly identifies with bad boy Nietzsche, who defined the problematic relationship between the individual and his football club in his controversial treatise Will To Power.</p> <p>Joey Barton, who was once called a Nietzschean Antichrist by an Everton fan, claims to have developed the mental strength of a Superman by studying the philosophical statements of the German:</p> <p>"That which does not kill us makes us stronger" tweeted Joey after being given a free transfer and told to train alone at Newcastle Football Club.</p> <p>Barton, who is currently deconstructing Thus Spake Zarathustra on Twitter, has told readers that his identification with Nietzsche started when he was a young tearaway growing up on a Merseyside council estate:</p> <p>"It defined my existence" tweeted Joey: "I drew a lot of inspiration from seeing 'God Is Dead' painted in big red letters on a park fence". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62581 Mon, 28 Mar 2011 07:32:44 +0000 NewSuburbanDad 62581@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea. What about if the refurbishment budget is blown on converting metro cars to buses - sliding doors, row seats? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62574 Mon, 28 Mar 2011 06:42:05 +0000 Ostsee 62574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently the Germans have a word for it - Ersatzschienenvehkehr. They once voted for it as their favourite expression. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62555 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 21:14:25 +0000 Golgo13 62555@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>like it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62507 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 12:13:56 +0000 SingingHinny 62507@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62506 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 12:10:13 +0000 Duncan Biscuit 62506@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too modest Mr Hinny, nice idea and made me laugh. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62497 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 11:20:21 +0000 SingingHinny 62497@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not one for genuine consideration, but one which might strike a cord with any North East-based contributors who have experienced the joy of replacement bus services. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23094#post-62496 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 11:19:16 +0000 SingingHinny 62496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Newcastle Metro operator nexus has been roundly congratulated by regular passengers for providing ‘a seamless transition to the metro replacement service’ and for ensuring that passengers enjoy a ‘truly authentic Metro experience.’</p> <p>The service between the North Shields and Byker stations has been closed to allow for the construction of new platforms, train lines and ASBO-sensitive sentry guns. In the meantime, a replacement bus service has been operating from directly outside the affected stations, give or take a mile or two.</p> <p>‘It has been an absolute pleasure to use the replacement service and I can’t fault it,’ said Brian Turner of North Shields, who was exactly 23 minutes late for work. ‘They’ve taken all the aspects of the Metro that people love and squeezed them into a smaller, later and even worse smelling package which really gets you ready for the long day ahead.’</p> <p>‘It is the attention to detail that makes it such a winning and authentic experience’, said Mrs. Ableworth of Tynemouth. ‘When I paid for my ticket I didn’t get my change back, I couldn’t find a seat that wasn’t soaked with Fosters, and the half-eaten sausage roll smeared on the window was an inspired addition. I hardly noticed the difference.’ </p> <p>The new line is due to open again on the 3rd of April but users remain hopeful that the replacement service might become permanent. ‘By creating the replacement bus service, Nexus has clearly raised the bar as much as it has its prices,’ according to Angela Brown of the ‘Say No To Tracks’ campaign. </p> <p>‘Our supporters have never enjoyed the ride to work, via Meadowell, as much as they are at the moment. We believe it is time to make a stand; as we have been doing for the last 45 minutes. Can you see the bus yet?’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3164#post-9062 Fri, 23 Apr 2010 19:03:31 +0000 MightyBlair 9062@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Liberal Democrats faced stern examination today after Nick Clegg announced a series of new policies whilst campaigning in Newcastle. Clegg promised voters at Newcastle Airport that he would make hangovers illegal, force the tooth fairy to double payments and make sure every year was a white Christmas. ‘It’s a long shot,’ stated Clegg, ‘but I have a dream of a Britain where magic can happen’. </p> <p>Yet, the Lib Dem leader did concede that it may take a while to forge this Brave New World, ‘we’re in a pickle as it stands, and we are going to have to work hard to reach that pot of gold’. When asked about his economic plans for the coming term should he be elected, Clegg stated that he and Vince Cable are looking at a number of changes to the current taxation system, a scheme to reclaim the funds invested in the stricken banking system, and are ‘in discussions with Jesus regarding whether he would consider returning to die for our financial sins’. </p>