http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=new-zealand The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 00:42:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31761#post-89905 Mon, 10 Oct 2011 15:56:28 +0000 apepper 89905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The owner of the Cargo ship <em>Rena </em>is to sue New Zealand for recompense for the damage caused to it's ship and fuel oil. "First of all, New Zealand has pointy rocks all around it which are an obvious danger to shipping", explained a company spokesman, "but having damaged the ship, salt is literally rubbed into the wounds by mixing the valuable fuel-oil with seawater, sand and, worst of all, wildlife which simply won't keep still." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20053#post-54182 Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:44:33 +0000 riesler 54182@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>and most of the Welsh letters are 'L's </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20053#post-54148 Sun, 16 Jan 2011 10:37:37 +0000 melody 54148@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe that explains the unemployment problem </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20053#post-54088 Sat, 15 Jan 2011 14:46:03 +0000 Mrblacker 54088@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>but then that is in welsh as opposed to english....... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20053#post-54044 Sat, 15 Jan 2011 08:54:12 +0000 Sinnick 54044@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Welsh have been managing with only 21 letters for years. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20053#post-54043 Sat, 15 Jan 2011 08:17:07 +0000 Mrblacker 54043@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a first for an english-speaking country, the Government of New Zealand is on the verge of adopting an alphabet different from the familiar set of 26 letters.</p> <p>From February, primary schools across the country will teach a new 25 letter version, which does not feature the letter 'I'.</p> <p>"English is a wonderful language and has served us well for years. It's also flexible enough to be adapted to local conditions." the country's Education Minister Anne Tolly told reporters.</p> <p>"We don't used the letter as other countries do, we pronounce it as a 'U', and research indicates our children have problems recognising any words containing it, as when they say them, our accents replaces it with a 'U' sounds."</p> <p>Existing text books across the country will still feature the letter 'I' and will be replaced as the first generation of pupils educated under the new alphabet grow up. Plans have also been unveiled to completely replace every roadsign across the country on a rolling basis as well.</p> <p>But the new alphabet's not going down well with traditionalists. Brian Harris is from the Preservation of English Society, based in Auckland.</p> <p>"This is absolutely ridiculous. What's ext, the abolition of certain numbers because people don't use them? Quite frankly, this plan's been thought up and implemented by a bunch of shuts." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13895#post-37665 Tue, 12 Oct 2010 07:14:58 +0000 Fishmilk 37665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The New Zealand government announced plans today to have rugby referees officiate at marriage ceremonies at next year’s Rugby World Cup.<br /> “It’s a big event for us,” the Minister of Rugby Affairs said. “It’s our national religion. And like with the Lord of the Rings, almost every New Zealander is working on it.”<br /> Somewhat controversially, video replays are also to be introduced to help ensure the sanctity of vows.<br /> Asked whether this meant that all marital acts would be videotaped a ministerial advisor said, “this is pretty much already the case – just look at the Internet.”<br /> However, the legislation allows the man with the whistle to view replays of the wedding vows only.<br /> “We can’t be looking at every bit of niggle, no one can see what goes on in the middle of a good ruck,” said the head of referee training. “It’s the initial engagement and impact we’re concerned with.”<br /> Mainstream churches are annoyed at the development.<br /> “With the exception of sea captains, we’ve had this market cornered for yonks,” the Archbishop of Porirua said. “If they try to continue this beyond the tournament we might have to slip some clergy onto the footie paddock.”<br /> Cameras will be installed in all churches in time for the 2011Rugby World Cup. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4832#post-13608 Sat, 22 May 2010 06:26:35 +0000 rfreed 13608@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bastards!- you won't even give me a rating.<br /> A pox on all your houses! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4832#post-13473 Fri, 21 May 2010 04:40:54 +0000 rfreed 13473@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien.</p> <p>The Kiwi brainiacs had found that dolphins have an extra set of bones near their midsection that might have at one time been legs for moving about on land. In other words, the amphibious creatures once left the seas to roam the earth, then returned to the ocean. For some reason, after hanging out for a couple millenniums basking in the sun, they said "Enough of this!", decided they did not like their new environment and up and marched back to the bosom of the sea.</p> <p>This shows their superior intelligence- the dolphins returned to a protected environment full with the abundant necessitates of life. Meanwhile our monkey fore-bearers insisted on staying on dry land and we humans now suffer on the surface of this world dealing with extremes of heat and cold, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, winds, winter, and any number of other threats to life and health. The dolphins luxuriate in a near perfect environment where the temperature changes little, they are able to move with ease, there is an abundance of food, they are protected from the upper environment of sky and land by the buffer of the sea, and there are few predators threatening them. It is little wonder they often stick their heads out of the water and chuckle- they are laughing at us!</p> <p>Douglas Adams, the great British humorist, depicted in his Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books that dolphins are one of the two most intelligent beasts on the planet (the white mice I am not so sure about). What is scary in the book is that when they leave the planet knowing it will be destroyed they tell us “So long and thanks for all the fish”. We could very well be standing there twiddling our thumbs and wondering what is going on when it happens.</p> <p>(Proofreaders comment) Another question that should be asked is this- what happens if they grow their legs back and decide to come out of the water for another go at things? If they are so smart they might start taking over things. They would be like aquatic yuppies, thinking they are so smart and all and start bossing us around. Heaven forbid should they get hold of our guns or start messing around with our women. They seem all nice and friendly and smiley, but then so do used car salesmen. I say we should let the tuna fisherman start catching them in their nets again. Enough of this 'Save The Dolphin' stuff. That should keep them off our streets. </p>