http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=new-forum The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 15:41:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123&page=2#post-171809 Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:39:06 +0000 NickFun 171809@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Howdy Folks! I know little about this site. I know even less about the inner workings of the Chinese government. However, I have been writing satire for years under the guise of NickFun. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-168147 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 00:09:53 +0000 The All New Jeni B 168147@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gerry, mate!!<br /> Sorry about that, hadn't heard your shout earlier. It's my age you see, I spent too much of my time dancing on speaker stacks at raves and now everything is a bit muffled.</p> <p>Sadly it appears that Continuity Biscuit has been discontinued. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-167153 Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:31:43 +0000 Flash! Aa-aaaa! 167153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"To answer your question - you can use the buttons above the post to make posts look like <strong>this</strong> or like <u>that</u>, or you can <em>handwrite it out yourself</em>."</p> <p>OH GOD! I'm going back to my ruddy abacus! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57289#post-166038 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 23:23:59 +0000 rickwestwell 166038@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Should be split into paragraphs and needs a stronger headline for a topical news site, in my opinion. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57289#post-166035 Sun, 03 Mar 2013 23:18:32 +0000 politics1uk 166035@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>newspeak NewsPeak on BREAKING NEWS - B-re-a-King news 4 the prince of WAILS.com. R they all cracking apart like a crack-in-gap-art? (humour hum-Our song : by royal warRant from Di-A-tribe diatribe - sick undercover notes : C-am-ill-a message 4 the mess-Age falling apart as they fall-in-gap-art) Does the curse of THE Mummy return as a P.A.in the gut with gastro:enter I.T. is it another bug from above? (appears a p.p.'ears' 2 say rehearse re-HEARSE?) Facing the elephants in the room they said : 'GOD IS WITH US'but was He saying 'GO! DI'S WITH US! Di-a-Gnostic now-won heaven (magic spell)<br /> Remember re-Member of the Human Race :REM embers : losing my religion 4 the nasties (check it out on the Pope - he knew we weren't listening) a-lie n' U R alien to us - sus! Spell like an Egyptian - GodSpell - know-body does I.T. better - deny I.T.<br /> Clear? C-lear! Spread the Word to S.p.read my Words - okay? con-Notations as sat-IRE satire 2 red SEE open O!pen! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5#post-155265 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 20:01:07 +0000 The All New Jeni B 155265@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>jp, hmmmm...jp...?</p> <p>I'm sure we used to know a jp around here, quite funny he was.<br /> Lost his mojo and was never heard of again.</p> <p>You're not related to him are you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5#post-155254 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 17:56:22 +0000 Dick Everyman 155254@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No pressure... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5#post-155236 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 11:15:12 +0000 Gerontius 155236@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Give him chance </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5#post-155229 Tue, 25 Dec 2012 10:43:18 +0000 riesler 155229@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thought of anything yet? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-137320 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 12:10:32 +0000 Gerontius 137320@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No...this can't be the place.<br /> Hello......hello....anybody there?<br /> Can you hear me?<br /> Quaz....Jen....Salty....ASBO....(no, not ASBO)...Golgo...Waldo<br /> Bastards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40684#post-115656 Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:34:59 +0000 FlashArry 115656@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice start, wrong room. More please - </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40684#post-115655 Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:29:08 +0000 Underconstruction 115655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a landmark case which is already been labelled 'Silentnight Witness', a super-king size memory mattress is today expected to give evidence against a Tory MP accused of spending less than 10 nights per calendar month in the lock-up garage near Shrewsbury which he claims to be his main place of residence. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-90020 Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:56:32 +0000 Scroat 90020@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br /> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30995#post-87394 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 11:41:12 +0000 TokyoTomato 87394@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30995#post-87389 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 11:16:37 +0000 writinginbsl 87389@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>stars<br /> funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30995#post-87368 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 10:05:21 +0000 Gerontius 87368@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Me too, lovely idea...lots of potential to expand this idea Clarky<br /> Have you been to the Eden Project...<br /> When it comes to rain forests, there's only one thing Cornwall lacks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30995#post-87367 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 09:33:39 +0000 Golgo13 87367@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30995#post-87364 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 09:07:51 +0000 Clarky 87364@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A desperate couple from Sao Paulo were forced to phone relatives in Brazil for help, when they found themselves marooned in the West Country.</p> <p>The pair, whose rented car ran off the road in Cornwall, said the ordeal had been terrifying. </p> <p>‘We had to book into a B&amp;B outside St Austell, miles from any civilisation, existing on pasties and re-runs of the 1970s TV series, Poldark,’ they said.</p> <p>A spokesperson for Roadside Rescue warned, ‘We get this all the time. Tourists underestimate the difficulties of travelling in the remoter parts of the West Country, where conditions may be more primitive than they are used to. It can be a jungle down there.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-78979 Mon, 25 Jul 2011 12:21:45 +0000 Son of Barnabas 78979@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>f0zz<br /> Sounds like you will fit in well with the rest of this mad bunch!</p> <p>Incidentally I loved the bit about poo squeezing out between bars - your school must have been like the prison I went to. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-77165 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:50:31 +0000 f0zz 77165@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hello I'm new here too, although paradoxically at the same time I'm also quite old and Northern. I'm a writer and write things that sometimes get sold but mostly don't. I'm not funny yet but hope to be one day. Someone suggested I come here and meet similar like-minded people. That didn't come out well, but you get the idea. I like kites and witches. I have a phobia about blown vinyl, especially Anaglypta. It looks as though larvae might be growing in the bubbles. At primary school, every morning during assembly, our headmistress would walk behind us and poke us in the back with a bony finger if we weren't singing loudly enough and once she poked me and a bit of poo squeezed out between the bars of 'And Did Those Feet'.</p> <p>The benefit of me is that I don't know what it was like here before so I can't moan about how better it was then. That's got to be worth something.</p> <p>The drawback of me is that I often use the internet to create some kind of weird and/or wacky online 'persona' then wilt under the pressure of maintaining it because I'm really pretty mundane and stolid. The wackiest thing I've done is buy gem lettuce when it was on offer (twin pack, 50p, AsdA) then forgot it was in the crisper because I hardly ever look there. I'd look here at least twice more though, I reckon. I'm hoping some of the talent here might rub off on me and I can finally stop fearing wallpaper and master the art of brevity.</p> <p>Oh. And what's a NiB? </p> <p>Wait. Don't tell me. News in Brief. Obvious now. The small 'i' gave it away. Knew it had to be a little word like 'is' or 'it' or 'in' (which it was). The rest just fell into place when I went and read the links on the front page explaining all about it. Sorry for everything, I'm rambling. Never wash Tramadol down with sugary Irn Bru.</p> <p>I <strike>enclose my CV and</strike> look forward to here(sic) from you soon. Best regards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-77159 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:16:27 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 77159@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi S&amp;M (snigger) only just spotted your post on here. You're doing it right, you post stuff and then see if people like it. On the FP there is one big story per day (the one with the picture) and 2 NiBs per day (1 at weekends). So the quickest something can make the full FP is the following day, and generally if it's going to make it it's there within a day or 2. I've seen stuff as NiBs anywhere from 20 minutes after posting to a whole week.</p> <p>Hope this helps, and welcome, liked your first couple, keep them coming. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-76719 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:52:48 +0000 Solanki and Mawhinney 76719@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ok. This is the sort of post that will almost certainly get someone's back up and they'll send me a link to the right place with a very snooty reply attached.</p> <p>So Sorry. And as long as you said the link that's fine.</p> <p>Just signed up to NewsBiscuit and the submission process isn't entirely clear to me so wanted to check it. You put your story and headline up there and is it simply a case of waiting to see what people say on it? There's nothing else you need to do?</p> <p>And how long does it generally take for things to make it to the FP (if it ever makes it there)? In other words how topical should I make things? Today's news? News that will run for a week? Topical in the sense that there's always a cheap laugh in saying Nick Clegg has sold out?</p> <p>Please. Be gentle with me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-64980 Fri, 15 Apr 2011 10:16:21 +0000 jp1885 64980@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nope - you don't get contacted (the editorial team are a bunch of haughty b*stards) so you'll need to check in. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-64589 Tue, 12 Apr 2011 21:13:31 +0000 Worth 64589@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hello there - I was just wondering if you get contacted if a one-liner is used or do you simply check the site daily? Much obliged. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-61054 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 09:15:33 +0000 Gerontius 61054@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would it be OK for Continuity Biscuit to hold there meetings in here? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-6841 Sat, 10 Apr 2010 13:51:30 +0000 The All New Jeni B 6841@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I read them. I don't have anything constructive to add to them, but I've read them nonetheless. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-6666 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 09:28:05 +0000 theumpire 6666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah! Nice thought Edward, but what about all those return visits to a sub to see what comments and replies there have been? Would we need a NewsBiscuit vote-tracking police to check whether you had already voted for a sub?</p> <p>Surely we have enough Big Brother (Huxley-style, not that nauseous TV programme) surveillance already in the UK, without having our every move added to a database here too.</p> <p>I'd rather see the links at the head of each screen (Forum, Chat Room, Writer's Room, etc) added to the bottom of each screen - save me scrolling back to the top or hitting the back button every time I've finished a thread.</p> <p>Anyway, our two posts here this week are the only entries in a month, so I doubt if anyone will read them. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-6210 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:51:20 +0000 edward hack 6210@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about: once you have read a sub, you CANT navigate away from the page unless you leave a score/starfish </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=538#post-1469 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:42:35 +0000 sleeprun 1469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"We held a press conference and told them to grab their ankles and fall backward...off a steep cliff, on the Welsh coast. Don't muk up our bloody beaches with that 2.0 trash! Have you seen their Facebook pictures!? Bunch of drunken techno-snobs and poofs!"</p> <p>The spokesman continued,</p> <p>"Sure they are here today but tomorrow? Hah! We k now, they'll be a little puff of blue smoke like what came out of my computer last night!"</p> <p>thatz all i got....u guyz finish the rest.....i need a burrito, bring anyone sumptin bak? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=123#post-1241 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:37:38 +0000 Quaz 1241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Malgor - the Alt Gr trick only works on some machines, it depends on what graphics card you have. I once had a paniced phone call from Mrs Q who had accidently dropped a bag on her keyboard at work and wondered why the screen was now upside down. Luckily I share Umpire's idea of office japes, so I knew the answer. </p>