http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=neato The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:59:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62615#post-182271 Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:16:54 +0000 NewBiscuit 182271@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...after being told she is "pointless" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60109#post-174592 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:45:46 +0000 nickb 174592@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha ha </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60109#post-174591 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:44:50 +0000 Squudge 174591@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...a bit rushed because I only just thought of it and wasn't sure what time Neato judging starts... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60109#post-174586 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:31:15 +0000 Squudge 174586@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Under the Serious Crimes Memorandum of Understanding the UK government is shipping thirty tons of Reddy Brek to Boston. The porrige-based technology has led to prompt arrests for the past four decades, and some mediocre late night telly. Though now the UK has a surplus because kids now prefer coco-pops, it is willing to share the technology.</p> <p><img src="http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1f/38/ff/1f38ff952dc40dad056c2bd250aa2232.jpg"><br /> Until recently it was classified that the UK security services had duped a generation to feed their offspring on a breakfast cereal that caused them to emit an aura that made cheap thermal imaging equipment more effective.</p> <p>A spokesman from the SOCA explained that the secret ingredient actually leaves a marker that persists for decades. "Everyone thought our thermal imaging technology was superior, and contrasted the ineptitude of the US authorities who could only form an image when the boat owner said 'There he is, look! He is bleeding all over my boat!'. They couldn't be further from the truth". </p> <p>"The real genius of the technology was in convincing the youth of the UK that a radioactive aura was a good look. We did try convincing chavs that wearing Hi Viz jacket in the dark was 'street' but they didn't go for it, so Reddy Brek is a superb fallback. Now we plan to get the NHS to microchip newborns the way vets do pets, but with a transmitter thingy, but keep it under your hat".</p> <p>The Foreign Office meanwhile, has offered advice on the potential impact if the US 'bloody decide to tip that little lot into the harbour'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-171979 Sat, 06 Apr 2013 09:15:15 +0000 godly1966 171979@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done easily the best and the cleanest. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-171088 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 21:24:52 +0000 sponge finger 171088@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd like to see that bunny pic on some of the protest placards re the Bedroom Tax </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-171003 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:29:15 +0000 Squudge 171003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta. I have to admit the Owsla bunnies frightened me as a kid. Scary artwork.<br /> I can quite see then as bunny people-traffickers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-170937 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 22:39:51 +0000 Ironduke 170937@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely work. And fair play to the watership down cartoonist who accepted the brief to 'create a really vicious looking bunny rabbit' too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-170936 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 22:36:29 +0000 sponge finger 170936@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>neato? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58828#post-170913 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 19:29:50 +0000 Squudge 170913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It has been discovered that from April 2013, rabbits on the Downs will incur penalties for having less than 20 bunnies in a chamber. This has set the hares running with terrible results in some deprived areas. A spokesrabbit from Watership Down, near Basingstoke, today gave a shocking account of resultant bunny-trafficking. </p> <p>"The Owsla bunnies run the finances round here and have been forcing us to up the numbers. We have had to break into domestic hutches and a local pharmaceutical lab. Most of the newbies are very unhappy about having their passports taken away and being kept in cramped conditions with only a ditch for sanitation, then forced to be sex workers". </p> <p>"Not that I am complaining about that bit", he admitted, "but the educated ones taken from private hutches have been inciting unrest and banging on about their leporid rights. </p> <p>We didn't expect the Warren Reform Act to have an impact here, but what with modern agricultural methods and ongoing outbreaks of 'myxy', warrens are nothing like as crowded as they used to be. These days a modern young couple of rabbits, far from being huddled ten families to a chamber, can now spread out and have a bit of privacy. The pups expect separate bedrooms, and we even had a snooker room at my old warren near Winchester."<br /> <img src="http://assets4.pinimg.com/upload/87116574014537293_94Iipk84.jpg"><br /> Some of the rabbits expressed concern at the viability of the bunny trafficking enterprise. "The immigration ferrets are on to us. You try passing off a lop-eared bunny as kin without proper paperwork, and some of the new intake are more trouble than they are worth. Princess Flopsie here is a total nightmare, demanding that we raid the local nurseries for Frisée and Radicchio. The lab bunnies want us to ring their private healthcare provider at the first sign of every sniffle. Really that could blow the whole operation."</p> <p>"The idiotic part is that we will lose the 25% single-occupancy discount on tax levied by the polecats. That is something the Owsla hadn't factored in. The government just don't think through the consequences of these new policies" sighed the spokesbunny, who admitted he only voted Tory because Cameron's big shiny face reminded him of the moon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58212#post-168959 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:57:20 +0000 Squudge 168959@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you just got a round tuit eh?</p> <p>&lt;gets coat&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58212#post-168940 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:46:56 +0000 Bob 168940@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only just got this... doh! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58212#post-168890 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:35:19 +0000 Idiot 168890@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There was a mug in our house when I was a kid which had 'round tuit' written on it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58212#post-168888 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:27:05 +0000 sponge finger 168888@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>classic </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58212#post-168800 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:34:50 +0000 Squudge 168800@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57606#post-167128 Sun, 10 Mar 2013 09:45:56 +0000 Squudge 167128@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>the daffs are making my kitchen smell nice this morning... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57606#post-167077 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 23:02:22 +0000 sponge finger 167077@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>masterful </p> <p>...hides scissors </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57606#post-167072 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 22:50:46 +0000 Squudge 167072@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gardeners up and down the country are on high alert due to the annual predation of daffodils by scroats planning to 'delight' their mothers.</p> <p>Supermarkets have reported selling out of Red Bull, torch batteries and high-power water pistols (normally seasonal items for squirting the kids in summertime or neighbours' cats arseholes).</p> <p>So far police have reported a quiet night as switchboard operators have treated all 999 calls with the contempt they probably deserve. "50% of all calls on Mother's Day Eve are due to gardening misdemeanors, so the odds are that it is better to just yank the phone jack out of the switch. Otherwise look at all the mums that will be disappointed"</p> <p>Local garages are doing a roaring trade in having their buckets of sad-looking chrysanths kicked over and grainy footage of little shits legging it with the contents.</p> <p>More soon, as we have it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-165052 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:59:05 +0000 sydalg 165052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks, MD, things looking a bit less woolly now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-165035 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:27:53 +0000 Midfield Diamond 165035@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FAO sydalg - these might help:</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48561">NEAT-O explanation</a></p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56888">This week's subject</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-165031 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:54:04 +0000 Lens Cap 165031@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They have found sheep DNA in lamb steaks. Tesco have removed from sale </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-165029 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:37:39 +0000 sydalg 165029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Did I miss some sheep story in the media in the last 24 hours, or is all this ovine humour spontaneous? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-164984 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:22:34 +0000 Squudge 164984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I couldn't bring myself to listen to Clegg writhing in his weasly trap (jabbing buttons, took my eyes off the road to make the noise stop) - I got it off a News24 report. Lovely turn of phrase 'indirect, non-specific complaints...' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-164983 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 08:19:22 +0000 sponge finger 164983@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>subtle - but only works if they heard the quote </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56945#post-164922 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 22:17:28 +0000 Squudge 164922@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Neato - on hellfire </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56944#post-164918 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 22:08:28 +0000 Squudge 164918@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>neato </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55422#post-160323 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:56:11 +0000 Squudge 160323@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you oeuf!</p> <p>"Judge me by my size, do you?" &lt;Yoda Pickles mode&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55422#post-160136 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:24:57 +0000 sponge finger 160136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>no light at the end of this tunnel</p> <p>(trying not to think of full moon) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55422#post-160130 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:09:17 +0000 Squudge 160130@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>sure as eggs are eggs </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55422#post-160129 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:01:45 +0000 topfotogmw 160129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A statement from Mr Pickles read: "I might have made mistakes in the past, (ask my Dietitian) but on this issue I really know my onions. </p>