http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=my-first-tag-na The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 07:40:21 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-167354 Mon, 11 Mar 2013 14:10:52 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 167354@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is it really 2 weeks since I said I should get on and write this up?</p> <p>Well I've finally done it:</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57698" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57698</a></p> <p>Thank you for all of your suggestions, unfortunately I couldn't fit all of them in. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-163976 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 17:01:32 +0000 Gerontius 163976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like Midfield Diamond's name for the super hero 'Captain Full Strength'...sounds a good fit.</p> <p>If it helps at all....the white van drivers around here are able to roll a fag, send a text, overtake an ambulance and jump the lights while leering at the totty... all in one very impressive co-ordinated move.<br /> Now that really does involve super powers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-163949 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 13:32:28 +0000 pinxit 163949@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More Avengers than X-Men but, <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663">it looks as if ol' Arsene has been on the Gitanes</a>, VCG... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-163947 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 13:29:11 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 163947@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is it really 2 weeks since I said I'd write this up? I should probably get on and do that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160576 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:16:34 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 160576@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you everybody for your input and for entering into the spirit of cooperation and collaboration that this was intended to encourage.</p> <p>I will pull all of this together into a semi-coherent sub once we have Tim Vine’s jokes to add to it. I will then refuse to submit anything else until it is used. Although that may actually hurt its chances rather than help. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160526 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:58:45 +0000 charlies_hat 160526@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If the fantastic four are anything to go by, it should make your Thing massive. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160512 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 02:00:53 +0000 Quaz 160512@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>One super hero power could be "The ability to make a roll up and get a filter in the end without dropping it after a long night in the pub." Also, "The ability to end up with an empty packet of cigarettes when on a night out with friends who have 'stopped smoking'". Also, since smokers are now banished to the frozen wastes of the smoking area where all the best conversations are had, the ability to make many new friends who may soon die, thus reducing your expenses on Christmas and birthday cards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160496 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 23:12:40 +0000 nickb 160496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Please do J </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160489 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:46:10 +0000 J Vine 160489@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll ask my brother Tim if he has any jokes to add to this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160472 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 21:56:15 +0000 nickb 160472@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>....and a cigarette factory that makes roll ups for people who don't want to roll their own. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160470 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 21:53:14 +0000 nickb 160470@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>....and trading standards officers trading standards, in a kind of knightly way, with horses and armour n that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160469 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 21:51:42 +0000 nickb 160469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd like to read something about electronic cigs </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160468 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 21:51:23 +0000 The All New Jeni B 160468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Personally, if I <u>don't</u> develop some mutant superpower, I plan to take the advertisers to Court under Trading Standards legislation.<br /> (It's ok, I wasn't attempting to bring funny to the sub, merely adding my personal thoughts.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160461 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:25:09 +0000 AdrianJ 160461@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some critics have accused tobacco companies of cynically exploiting the Sci Fi community's misinterpretation of the anti-smoking campaign. An allegation that the British American Tobacco have been quick to refute. Speaking at launch of the company's new "Man" brand of cigarettes, Chairman, Richard Burrows, said: "accusations that we are somehow attempting to capitalize on the current situation are completely unfounded". Mr. Burrows continued: "The timing of the launch of BAT Man is purely coincidental, and their introduction in to our range has merely been to complement our existing flagship brand, Duna…Duna…Duna…Duna… Duna…Duna…Duna…Duna… Dunhill!"</p> <p>...or something like that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160454 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 18:55:28 +0000 Titus 160454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Purely as an aside: I expect that in future most smokers will outlive non-smokers due to their [enforced] healthy, out-door lifestyle. (Another case of unforseen consequences ...) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160433 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 15:04:47 +0000 beau-jolly 160433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think I can see signs of toad and dog super powers as I wake up with the ability to spit lumps of green flegm across the room while making a barking sound. </p> <p>I am rapidly losing the ability to breath but expect the gills to appear any time soon.</p> <p>&lt;not easy this comedy lark, is it?&gt; </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160432 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 14:58:40 +0000 Midfield Diamond 160432@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Best said early signs were good. "I chain-smoked a packet of Capstan Full Strength which I thought made me look hard, and they made me go green too, so I may be turning into the next Incredible Hulk." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160429 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 14:44:26 +0000 Not Amused 160429@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>GPs have reported an increase in the number of pre-op transsexuals taking up smoking. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55499#post-160426 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 14:17:12 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 160426@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Due to the hugely positive response to my recent comment about posting a partial idea and encouraging collaboration from others to flesh it out, here is a poorly thought out, unstructured start to a story. Please add your contributions below and I will try to pull all the suggestions together into one coherent sub some time before the HS2 rail system is completed and we can then have a group flounce when it doesn’t get used.</p> <p>Smokers hoping for ‘X-Men style’ superpowers following genetic mutation TV ads</p> <p>The latest anti-smoking campaign has had an unforeseen side effect, with the message that smoking causes genetic mutations being misinterpreted by science fiction fans who have long fantasised about having superpowers. With the chances of being bitten by a radioactive spider lower than ever, and lab accidents involving secret research even less likely than a lottery win the opportunity to irreversibly alter your genetic code by smoking several tabs a day has been jumped on by many X-Men fans.</p> <p>‘If just fifteen cigarettes is enough to cause a genetic mutation that could potentially cause a tumour then just think what smoking forty a day could do!’ said Simon Best, who has stopped spending his pocket money on comics and started smoking instead, ‘It’s quite expensive but I’ve managed to keep it up so far and could sell some of my action figures if I start to struggle. It should all be worth it in the end, I’m hoping for some of those cool claws like Wolverine.’</p> <p>Right, over to everybody else. If it ends up involving time travelling dwarves and a smell of Bovril I’m going to be a little disappointed to be honest. </p>