http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=music The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 05:01:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175226 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:26:43 +0000 Titus 175226@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As agent for all the above groups, may I draw your attention to yet another new band which we represent, called "Give us all your money, suckers!"</p> <p>Believe me, the <em>Moneysuckers</em> are going to be MASSIVE. You read it here first. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175224 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:20:39 +0000 Mr Target 175224@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>A Real Life Woman In The Nude</em> are getting back together for the Buzzcore Unchained festival so fuck you! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175223 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:18:34 +0000 Tristan Shout 175223@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well good luck with that, toss-pot, because <em>My Own Bollocks Being Sawn Off</em> split up after their last tour! You've got as much chance of seeing them as seeing a real life woman in the nude, asshole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175222 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:16:58 +0000 Mr Target 175222@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only total fuckwits like <em>Cats Being Strangled</em>! Load of pretentious Scandinavian wank. I'd rather watch my own bollocks being sawn off. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175220 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:15:31 +0000 Tristan Shout 175220@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Croatian house is shit! I'd rather listen to cats being strangled. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175207 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:56:58 +0000 thisisall1word 175207@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I saw LCD sound system perform 'losing my edge' on a tiny stage at a festival you've never heard of in Eastern Europe, before they/he was even mentioned in Vice magazine. I stood near the front of the stage with my arms folded looking bored &amp; unimpressed the whole way through. Perhaps the best gig I've ever been to. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-175066 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 21:58:25 +0000 Sir Lupus 175066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Classic Croatian House. damn... maybe<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_j8BG-ybng">"I am losing my edge"</a></p> <p>oh yes, stars for the sub </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174989 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 18:01:38 +0000 godly1966 174989@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>145 friends? I've only got 4. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174988 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:59:17 +0000 Golgo13 174988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I hate - well that's a strong word...anyway, those things on Facebook that let you tell all 145 of your friends how many important albums your own or how many important books you've read. It's all a bit transparently exhibitionist.<br /> Much better to just let people know which airport you're at and what your face is like. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174986 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:57:05 +0000 godly1966 174986@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>rock on, have some stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174975 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:34:07 +0000 Squudge 174975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>no really - I like Grumblechops version ...where to start... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174970 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:03:29 +0000 Sinnick 174970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure why I thought of this, but does "garage music" (whatever that is) always have to have high pressure air pipes and the sound of wheelnuts being removed ? Just a thought.</p> <p>I like the idea of "1000 things to do before you die". I've only done about 12% of them, so at this rate I've got another 392 years to go.</p> <p>Oh, plenty of stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174966 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:36:31 +0000 Midfield Diamond 174966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, great idea. How about including a para about those who pride themselves on owning obscure albums by artists that no-one's ever heard of that they <em>think</em> everyone should own. I was once told "High Life by Eddy and Dus is just classic Croatian House" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174962 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:26:32 +0000 virtuallywill 174962@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ahh Paper Lace, what a band. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174960 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:22:53 +0000 allmyownstunts 174960@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea, Sredders. Touches a nerve, therefore the best kind. Some of us (*cough*) think we've got pretty sound musical knowledge and tastes and then these lists come along, written by credentially people, and we're fecked.</p> <p>Have some stars, which I've traced off the cover of the Top of the Pops album with Kung Fu Fighting and The Night Chicago Died on it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174947 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:31:39 +0000 sredni vashta 174947@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the comments, some interesting ideas here. I've always found these type of "MUST own" lists rather absurd and the people who compile them a tad self-important. I liked the idea that nobody takes any notice of them. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174898 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:31:14 +0000 J Vine 174898@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd chop down The Joshua Tree. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174897 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:27:05 +0000 grumblechops 174897@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about the flip side? The 100 Albums NOBODY Should Own? I heard Oxfam on Lewisham High Street was raided by cops after an anonymous donation of The Invisible Band by Travis inadvertently completed their set </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174893 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:18:50 +0000 rickwestwell 174893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea, and I think could be even better if it followed the angle of some never-explained law which means it is actually illegal not to own all the 100 albums in the book.</p> <p>So you could have police raids reveal shocking levels of mandatory album under-ownership, with people pressuring their wives to make false statements that the husband was the real owner of the Michael Jackson album, etc etc.</p> <p>Groups of hard-liners could hold out, refusing to buy The Joshua Tree on grounds of taste, and they're quite prepared to go to prison for it, staging a 'dirty protest' which ironically inspires a whole concept album by Radiohead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60249#post-174890 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:57:33 +0000 sredni vashta 174890@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rock music experts have expressed surprise and dismay at discovering just how few people have purchased all 100 albums that they say everybody must own.</p> <p>A new survey suggests that only 0.13% of British households possess the entire collection of essential "long-players" whilst it's estimated that a mere 1 in 23 households possess even the minimum requirement of Revolver, Pet sounds, Dark Side of The Moon, The Bends, Thriller, The Joshua Tree, Blonde on Blonde, Ziggy Stardust, and one PJ Harvey album. Shockingly, some households are now known to possess no recordings whatsoever of any popular music, news that has been described by some as "chillin' ".</p> <p>Leading rock journalist Tom Why? says "Clearly the message isn't getting through and the long-term fallout for the nation could be.....well, let's just say that the implications are real. I don't mind admitting that we who reside in the music media community are seriously concerned. And bloody annoyed" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53389#post-154001 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:50:40 +0000 barkingbazz 154001@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In memoirs released immediately following his death it is claimed that the term 'world music' was just a term fabricated in an attempt to make boring music played on hand-made traditional instruments appear more exciting. He realised there was a niche-market and with this label he would be able to fleece rich westeners out of their hard-earned cash. </p> <p>83 year-old percussion player Ravi Kumar, who claims to have been in on the scheme said 'The Beatles had just given the Maharishi (Mahesh Yogi) 10 Rolls Royces to add to his collection and we thought we'd get in on the action. The next thing we knew there were journalists and film crews everywhere - people were virtually throwing money at us, what could we do ? So we coined the term world music and started recording. Soon we were as rich as The beatles' he chortled 'they had expensive tastes and liked to party whilst we were simple country people'. </p> <p>In a further twist, Gordon Sumner has cancelled all forthcoming gigs and could not be contacted at the luxury yurt in The Cotswolds which he shares with his wife, lawyers and accountants. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147370 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 23:41:07 +0000 Squudge 147370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>he'd get a pretty good view from up there<br /> <a href="http://www.airforce-technology.com/projects/u2/">...I spy high in the sky</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147369 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 23:30:11 +0000 Boutros 147369@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But why would you want to see U2? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147334 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 17:32:14 +0000 Skylarking 147334@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's the Glastonbury special too: watch live footage on the TV, but with a very large welsh flag hanging over the screen, totally obscuring the view of the bands... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147325 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 17:01:29 +0000 charlies_hat 147325@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. stars aplenty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147324 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:40:46 +0000 dvo4fun 147324@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gets my vote dusty </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147321 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:31:55 +0000 AReader 147321@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Badum tish! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147293 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 12:01:15 +0000 DustyBinLaden 147293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Concert promoter AEG is to offer more affordable tickets for stadium concerts that will include watching the concert while blindfolded at home, with wax pressed into each ear.</p> <p>‘Stadium ticket prices have become over-inflated,’ said a spokesperson for AEG. ‘We want to democratise that imbalance based on whether you give a shit about being able to see or hear anything.</p> <p>‘Now you can buy a ticket for the 2013 Bon Jovi tour for as little as £12.50, which involves being held under water at a nearby lake for the duration of the concert. Then we’ve got the £20 special, which means you stay at home, deprived of your optical and auditory senses. Also, you won’t be allowed to drink your own tap water during the gig. You'll have to buy ours.’</p> <p>Student Darren Maloney said: ‘It’s about time concert promoters catered for the minority of students who would be seen dead at a stadium gig. I’m hoping to see Celine Dion at Wembley. Well, I say see… I’m going to be paying £11 to sit and watch Al-Jazeera in the back room of a Turkish grocer in Wembley High Road.'</p> <p>Those who like to splash out on a top-price ticket experience are not being overlooked by AEG.</p> <p>‘Yes, if you’re some sort of cunt, then our top ticket price for Bon Jovi is £125,’ commented the spokesperson. ‘They're mainly aimed at business people who like to stand in a corporate safety ring getting free tinitus, shout “amazing sound system” to a client who got hammered before the gates opened, and get emotional over the lyrics to <em>It’s My Life.</em> Or, in the case of Bon Jovi, American couples in matching fleeces that have wolves printed on them.’</p> <p>The recent record freefall from 24 miles above the Earth, completed by Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner, has now been revealed as nothing more than the world's cheapest gig ticket. 'I have to confess it wasn't a world record skydiving attempt at all,' admitted Baumgartner. 'It was actually the only way I could afford to see U2.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147291 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 11:56:57 +0000 DustyBinLaden 147291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, perhaps I'll save Ticketmaster for another day. Thanks AReader. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51131#post-147283 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 11:08:27 +0000 AReader 147283@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think that removing the last two paragraphs and adding the Felix Baumgartner reference as the punchline would tighten the comedy up and stop it becoming a (well-justified) rant. </p>