http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=mcdonalds The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 09:57:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37195#post-104648 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:33:10 +0000 FlashArry 104648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>*****<br /> marvellous post - sharper than a very, very sharp thing indeed </p> <p>If only it would happen .... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37195#post-104568 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:28:08 +0000 Boutros 104568@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks - can't seem to be able to edit it now though.<br /> Maybe the headline could be...</p> <p>Ovett pips Coe to chairmanship on Olympic last leg - but I don't think that's better.</p> <p>If I could do it as a ticker I would.. but then again I don't want it to run as a ticker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37195#post-104525 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:56:54 +0000 Midfield Diamond 104525@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree, excellently written. </p> <p>I think the headline could perhaps be improved - it made me think of Coe making his way up to light the Olympic Flame at the opening ceremony then having the torch snatched from his hand by Ovett with just a few yards to go ... which would also be funny. However, the sub is far more cutting than that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37195#post-104458 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:33:51 +0000 dvo4fun 104458@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, that's so very good; how is it on word count? Have some solid golds </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37195#post-104414 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:47:30 +0000 Boutros 104414@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Steve Ovett has overtaken Seb Coe to become Chairman of the London Organising Committee on the final lap of the 2012 Olympic preparations.</p> <p>Ovett timed his surprise manoeuvre perfectly at the first LOCOG meeting of the new year. It was classic Ovett. Coe, winding up a technically challenging powerpoint presentation, “Food Fit For Olympians – why we chose McDonalds, Coca-Cola and Cadbury”, failed to spot his former middle-distance rival nestling on his shoulder.</p> <p>Then Ovett struck.</p> <p>The UK 2-mile record holder’s faultless performance will be remembered as a master-class in overhead presentation technique.</p> <p>Thrusting forward to the projector, Ovett revealed designs for a new, attractive Olympic logo that basic consumer research showed people generally liked. To spontaneous applause, the OBE-holder was quick to press home his advantage, introducing a range of plush toy mascots having not one but two eyes to ensure they were cute and appealing to children.</p> <p>Coe, clearly rattled, responded sluggishly. His Olympic 2012 tow-away fee charges table was clearly not getting the crowd going in the way he had hoped.</p> <p>Slide by slide, the gap between the two became a gulf as Ovett went on to unveil a ticketing plan based on the principle of seeing what you could buy before parting with the money for the tickets, similar to the way people in other countries had been able to purchase theirs – before delivering his hammer blow, proposing that, in the inclusive spirit of the Games, non-Visa card holders should also be allowed to join in.</p> <p>Coe countered with a startling new proposal to make Izal the official toilet paper of the Olympics 2012, available only from Olympic Park kiosks in a range of Bronze, Silver and Gold softnesses. But to the assembled committee members it began to look like he was going backwards.</p> <p>The July finish line had come so tantalizingly in sight, yet the man in dark blue knew his race was over. There was a brief handshake between the two former rivals of the cinder track. Then the life peer gathered his nobo markers and made his way quietly to the exit, jacket loosely wrapped around his slumped shoulders.</p> <p>“Stephen has come here with a ragbag of populist policies,” remarked a disappointed Coe to waiting reporters, “because he’s more interested in winning than he is in maximising park-and-ride revenue. That’s Steve all over – but it’s not what the Olympics is about.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29803#post-83624 Mon, 29 Aug 2011 07:13:43 +0000 cuckoowatoo 83624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the stars and no problem about the rant, I liked it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29803#post-83611 Sun, 28 Aug 2011 23:10:32 +0000 dvo4fun 83611@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have some stars me old cuck. Expanding this one?</p> <p>Rant. This is a progression from offenders on 'community service' work wearing hi-viz tabards proclaiming 'community payback'. Last year Gov't suggested 'community work' for benefit claimants and if that goes ahead they'll presumably have to wear alternative tabards to distinguish them from simple miscreants; maybe a different colour and 'workshy'. Medical staff 'angels' (except administrators of course) and all other public sector employees 'spongers'. Continues droning on..</p> <p>I do apologise. It's been a long day, what with MoTD, F1 and MOTOGP. I should just drink my ovaltine (other milk-medium sleepy-time drinks are available) and get to bed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29803#post-83599 Sun, 28 Aug 2011 19:49:49 +0000 cuckoowatoo 83599@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A row has broken out over a fast food chain’s decision to give staff ‘Do Not Disturb’ uniforms to wear to prevent customers from speaking to them.</p> <p>The staff will wear the bright red tabards after they have taken the order, whilst they are collecting the food to be put on the customer’s tray. </p> <p>The fast food chain says interruptions, such as customers asking questions about ketchup and straws, stop staff from doing their jobs properly and could actually lead to customers being given the wrong burger.</p> <p>But Jane Tinsmith, from campaign group Fast Food Customer Concern, described the initiative as ‘ridiculous’.</p> <p>She said: ‘If you’re a fast food chain employee and you can’t do more than one thing at a time, you’re a pretty hopeless employee”. Then she laughed and said “who am I kidding? Can they even do one thing at a time?” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25430#post-69079 Sun, 22 May 2011 14:43:54 +0000 mbalton 69079@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>McDonald’s stockholders have voted down a recommendation that the company stop marketing its products to children to counter the growing obesity epidemic among the world's youth.</p> <p>The plan called for the retirement of Ronald McDonald and would have required the removal of toys from the company’s Happy Meals. It was rejected by every McDonald’s stockholder except one, the Hamburgler, who reportedly does not like children.</p> <p>“Rather than restrict the popular Happy Meals concept, we’re going to expand upon it,” a McDonald’s spokesman said. “The new idea is to create Happy Meals for children of all ages.”</p> <p>Instead of toys, the adult Happy Meals will contain single doses of either McCrack or McMeth, two new products now being developed in the company’s McLab. “We want to give our adult customers an adult choice,” the spokesman added. “And have some adult fun.”</p> <p>In line with the new product launches, the company also announced a major change for McDonald’s mascot. The name of Ronald McDonald will be changed to Ronald McPusher.</p> <p>“We're through clowning around,” a McDonald's spokesman said. “We've been cooking our customers' their favorite burgers for more than half a century. Now we're going to fry their brains.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11854#post-32453 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 11:11:30 +0000 R R 32453@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>meets with the approval of 128% of the American people according to a survey conducted by the Fast Food Association of the USA Magazine "Lard-Ass". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9236#post-24801 Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:21:15 +0000 jp1885 24801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fast food giant McDonalds has stolen a march on it's competitors today by announcing that it is improving 'the burger dining experience' by selling it's products upside down. The move, scheduled to begin next week, is designed to eliminate the need for the consumer to flip over their burger halfway through the meal to avoid the disappearance of the bottom half of the bun.</p> <p>According to McDonalds spokesperson Claire Haslet, one of the greatest perils in eating this type of fast food is the disproportionate rate at which the bottom half of the bap is consumed, compared to the top half. 'Try as you might, you always end up with more on top than you do underneath, necessitating a 180 degree Big Mac inversion at some point to stop unnecessary gherkin spillage.'</p> <p>'Selling their products upside down will make this manoeuvre a thing of the past, as what was the bottom half of the burger will become the top half of the burger, and vice-versa.' she revealed. 'We are also looking at ways of further enhancing the McDonalds meal journey by changing the design of the little boxes our fries come in - further differentiating them from cardboard, and by fitting our beakers with small solar powered pumps and 2 inch diameter straws, thus reducing the risk of sustaining a hernia whilst drinking one of our thick shakes.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=293#post-857 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:42:34 +0000 ronseal 857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Slow Food Movement is facing a challenge from an apparent breakaway movement, whose leader works behind the bar at Ye Olde Gastro Pub, in Kingston on Thames.</p> <p>Whereas The Slow Food Movement aims to remind people of the pleasures of eating and revive local food traditions, the Fucking Slow Food Movement (FSFM) has a simpler objective: to make people appreciate anything they can get.</p> <p>'Keep the twats waiting' said Micheal Keating, founder of the SFFM, 'if you make them wait long enough, they'll be glad of a cold snackpoint and a turkey twizzler.'</p> <p>Keating is anxious to revive old customs, that date back as far as the 1970s. Each person behind the bar is delegated a specialised role, which must be rigidly adhered to. 'The other day, someone asked one of my colleagues for an orange juice. She told him no, she wasn't bar trained, so he'd just have to wait until the barman came back from his break' he said proudly, 'that brought a tear to my eye.' </p> <p>With catch-phrases like 'It's not my job mate', 'can I finish stacking these glasses' and 'Hello? Chiefs do get hangovers you know!' Keating aims to cash in on the 70s nostalgia boom without doing too much work.</p> <p>"The Fucking Slow Food Movemement aims to provide a mix of low quality service and high mortality food-stuffs," he said. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=233#post-693 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:20:43 +0000 rfreed 693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Entrepreneurs are jumping on the new opportunity developing in the middle of the Pacific. The multi national realty conglomerate Glutton Realty has purchased the entity known as the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and is turning it into a new mega-island complete with acreage to buy at astronomical prices.<br /> The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is a huge mass of churning waste pollution caught up in the confluence of several oceanic tides that has accumulated in the middle of the earths greatest ocean (This is true- Google it in for validation). This swirl of swill is created by all the trash and junk discarded by millions of cruise ships, boaters, surfers, beach dwellers and other ocean travelers throughout the Pacific. Their refuse has congealed into a huge mass of plastic, paper, wood pieces and other debris the size and consistency of Texas.<br /> Glutton Realty, seeing an opportunity where no one else did, hired cargo ships to carry dirt, cement and foundation rebar out to the middle of the mass to start building what has become the world's largest man-made island. As soon as the basic foundation is complete, tropical trees and plants will be bought in and given root. Hotels, restaurants and homes will be built and then leased to the highest bidders. Prices on acreage on this Shangri-La will run around $500,000 an acre. Needless to say, it will become a playground for the rich. Interestingly, Glutton Reality is a subsidiary of Yuppies Afloat, one of the major cruise ship companies that helped create the patch by dumping on an average 8 tons of refuse in the water a week.<br /> Pacific rim nations are questioning what the sovereignty of the new island nation should be. The U.S., Japan, China and Australia are all claiming rights to the new land. Glutton Realty, however, maintains that since no one claimed responsibility for the polluted swill before hand that no one has rights to the new island once it is finished.<br /> Glutton has decreed that the new land will be called New McDonaldland after the most abundant form of trash found in the Garbage Patch. Coca-cola, Pepsi and Baggies companies are all suing over naming rights claiming that their products also make up a sizable amount of the trash.<br /> NEWS UPDATE!!!<br /> The U.S. military attacked and seized control of New McDonaldland when it was realized that it sat directly over abundant deep sea oil reserves. General Bringem N. Dead has declared that the U.S. needs the island for military defense because of its strategic location. Glutton Reality is protesting the move and is taking its case to the UN. The U.S. has offered them bailout funds if they drop the case and comply. </p>