http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=mayan The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 18:06:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53492#post-154389 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 09:20:38 +0000 Username 154389@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At least pick a town where there's some virgins (for the ancient rituals).</p> <p>(These stylised virgin sacrifice rituals have been practiced for many years, and it turns out that the Mayans do them too, not just the BBC presenters...) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53492#post-154384 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 09:07:07 +0000 Squudge 154384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea, but you should have it over on ITV for 'wake up Britain' or whatever it is called. Allows for alltogether ditsier coverage, with end-of-the-world cupcakes with authentic Mayan spices and some ceremonial dancing. Maybe even a live phone-in chat with the expert. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53492#post-154380 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 08:57:53 +0000 iBarryJ 154380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>BBC Breakfast News team today issued an appeal to find a Mayan resident in Salford. The Breakfast team are making preparations to cover the Friday 21st global apocalypse and wish to have a real Mayan spokesperson live in the studio to provide insight and comment. "We aren't too worried if they have a Manc or Scouse accent as long as they look Mayan and can explain the 13 B'ak'tun to our viewers," said Bill Turnbull. "We fully intend to give this global story extensive coverage and to minimise costs we will be presenting live from Salford Quays tram station." Any suitably qualified Mayans should contact the duty editor - quickly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2256#post-6627 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 07:20:34 +0000 Gryndyl 6627@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excitement is building in the Mayan publishing community as they gear up for their first new calendar release in over 5,000 years. "Publishing technology has come a long way in that time," says Apolinario Chile Pixtun. ""We're going to be able to move away from the traditional stone tablets and switch to paper for this release, allowing us to have a separate page for each of the 5,125 harvest cycles. This will allow us much greater diversity in the themes and art we use for the new edition."</p> <p>When asked about the rumors of the world ending when the current calendar runs out of days, Pixtun gave an exasperated sigh. "This whole apocalyptic notion is just Western European mythology imposing itself onto our mythology. The world is no more likely to end at the conclusion of our calendar than it is when you get to day 365 of your Dilbert-A-Day calendar."</p> <p>The new calendar is expected to be distributed through shopping mall kiosks and seasonal retail outlets. "We're going to try and jazz this one up quite a bit over Epoch I," Pixtun says. "We'll have a thousand or so years featuring the severed heads of losing Pok-a-Tok stars for the sports fans. Certainly some cute animal pictures with amusingly miscarved logosyllabic glyphs. And bikinis, of course."</p> <p>Pixtun claims that they are even trying to enlist some of the Mayan Gods and Goddesses for special appearances. "We're having trouble getting in contact with a few of them, and not just because we're no longer allowed to make the appropriate human sacrificial offerings. The Moon Goddess, for example, seems to have changed her name to Mary a couple of millennium ago and is now lurking on a piece of toast in Mazatlan."</p> <p>Pixtun did assure us that they will also be offering the traditional style stone tablet version for those that prefer the old ways. "It will still likely have more bikinis, however, to ensure a contemporary look." </p>