http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=matthew The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 12:27:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42594#post-121812 Tue, 08 May 2012 23:25:51 +0000 Yikes 121812@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellento! Especially like the end of the 4th para!</p> <p>Just wonder in the second to last para at the end whether there is scope to add "I'll never get to see (who wins Dancing with the Stars) (the end of Debbie does Dallas) (some other random bad American show reference)". Actually that might just take it off topic on second thoughts .. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42594#post-121806 Tue, 08 May 2012 22:01:47 +0000 Dumbnews 121806@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about paranoid instead of frustrated? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42594#post-121737 Tue, 08 May 2012 12:53:19 +0000 The All New Jeni B 121737@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bizarre, funny and probably true.<br /> Rusty bullet holes to you both. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42594#post-121730 Tue, 08 May 2012 12:27:21 +0000 waylandsmithy and VCG 121730@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Newly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says.</p> <p>More than 6,000 documents were seized during the Abbottabad raid in which Bin Laden was killed, and the 17 that have been released include a detailed description of Bin Laden’s thoughts before, during and after the raid.</p> <p>‘Heard a rumour that the awesome US of A may have discovered the location of my mega-top-secret hideout and are sending some real bad-ass SEALs to come get me' reveal the documents. ‘I hope it’s not true, those dudes have mad skillz. Me and my terrorist buddies are just wusses and lamers.’</p> <p>Researchers at the US military academy believe that the distinct differences in handwriting in the entries leading up to, and shortly after his death, show just how much Bin Laden was affected by his fear, and by the large bullet hole in his brain.</p> <p>The documents also show that his dedication to documenting his exact thoughts and grudging admiration for the US meant he carried on writing until the very last moment. ‘The SEALs are here! The SEALs are here! I just crapped my cowardly terrorist pants', reads an entry from the Al-Qaeda leader’s personal diary. 'Also, I have quite a small penis.'</p> <p>Bin Laden's writing gives a disturbing insight into the final moments of a fanatic, as well as the following months after his death. 'Curse those handsome devils, their outstanding training and dedication to creating world peace. Aaaargghhh, I’ve been shot in head!', reads one of the later entries. 'Looks like this is the end for me, 1-0 to the good guys.'</p> <p>Seclusion may have caused Bin Laden to re-examine his political views. 'I would definitely vote for Obama in the upcoming presidential elections', the deceased terrorist concludes. But there are also signs that he has accepted his fate: 'it's just a shame that dead terrorists don't have the vote.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35115#post-99222 Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:08:59 +0000 Username 99222@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh God. Now the morons think we're idiots. Thanks very much, bonjonelson and Golgo13.</p> <p><blockquote>"Snopes, the website famous for debunking internet myths and urban legends, will start charging for access next week based on a new automated payment model that allows money to be taken direct from the ISP account or PayPal account of anyone browsing the site.</p> <p><a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/2...urban-legends/" rel="nofollow">http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/2...urban-legends/</a><br /> </blockquote></p> <p>From, <a href="http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=76352" rel="nofollow">http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=76352</a><br /> <em>"I can't get the page to load at the moment. How many other snopesters are trying to get on there and correct these idiots? "</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35115#post-99221 Mon, 05 Dec 2011 00:21:52 +0000 Golgo13 99221@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Complacency theorists claim everything 'just fine'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35115#post-99220 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 23:48:12 +0000 bonjonelson 99220@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>See also:</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30985#post-87327" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30985#post-87327</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35115#post-99215 Sun, 04 Dec 2011 23:24:54 +0000 Dumbnews 99215@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5137#post-14154 Wed, 26 May 2010 15:18:51 +0000 Des Custard 14154@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Simon Rattle, famous for his 'hairdrier' approach to dressing-room talks; shame he doesn't use it on his hair.</p> <p>Bournemouth Symphonia experimenting with violins on the wings, violas playing up the middle and cellos in the hole. </p> <p>The rousing third movement of the Pathetique symphony has brought the evening to a tremendous climax...some people are on their feet applauding...they think it's all over... </p> <p>[page 17 of the Telegraph note: there's actually a quiet 4th movement but audiences are often caught out] [note: 'page 17 of the Telegraph' is a reference to Guidelines for Contributors on avoiding the need to explain obscure stuff] [I've had a hard day] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5137#post-14124 Wed, 26 May 2010 13:03:38 +0000 andrewmellor 14124@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Classical concerts broadcast by the BBC will be enhanced by sports-style commentaries from pundits including John Motson, the corporation has announced. Masterpieces by the likes of Mahler and Beethoven will be overlaid with continuous opinion and analysis from a team of ‘enthusiastic and experienced’ pundits. </p> <p>The decision is aimed at ‘de-mystifying’ the listening experience and will launch at this summer’s Proms season but incorporate year-round <em>Performance on 3</em> broadcasts, too. Listeners on BBC Radio 3 will hear the usual introduction broadcast live before studio presenters hand over to a team of ‘stageside’ analysts as the music begins. They promise ‘unbiased and candid commentary on the unfolding performance’. </p> <p>It’s believed Motson was approached to join the commentary team on the strength of his predilection for statistics. ‘There’ve been player transfers across the UK this spring that will make the new season fascinating’, said the veteran commentator. ‘Who’d have thought that after six years with the Northern Sinfonia, 1st violinist Bradley Cresswick would have agreed a transfer to the Liverpool Philharmonic?’ </p> <p>It’s understood pundits will be encouraged to explore the mindsets of players as they approach solos or challenging passages in the music. They will also be encouraged to express honest critical reaction after such moments – suggesting whether players might be ‘happy with that’ and whether they’re ‘justifying their selection’. </p> <p>New ‘Bats-ear’ technology will ascertain whether a particular orchestra or ensemble is giving a performance their all – the achievable target being 110%. </p> <p>In a statement the corporation claimed ‘a new spirit of competition and intrigue’ will invade its concert broadcasts. This is sure to place particular emphasis on conductors whose jobs appear to be at risk, notably Charles Dutoit, whose commitment to the Royal Philharmonic appeared to waver at the close of last season, and Sir Simon Rattle, whose Berlin Philharmonic players are prone to dressing-room rebellion. </p> <p>The corporation dismissed as ‘nonsense’ a claim from listener groups that rolling commentary would interfere with their appreciation of the music they love. </p>