http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=liberal-democrats The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 09:24:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140574 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:28:00 +0000 Deadcode 140574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yah, was surprised by that just now. Thanks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140572 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:24:29 +0000 Sinnick 140572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Seems you got a NiB !! Well done </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140468 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:22:46 +0000 Queen of Tarts 140468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it Deadcode. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140466 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:12:40 +0000 dvo4fun 140466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work Deadcode. Welcome </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140425 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:08:34 +0000 writinginbsl 140425@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140400 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 14:09:02 +0000 Sinnick 140400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You may not be aware that you've 6 hours from the original submission to edit as you see fit. If the Editor publishes it, he may change anything he likes, but usually keeps close to the original style &amp; content, and perhaps tweaking it slightly if he can add value or polish. A hat-tip is in order if you take on someone's significant improvement (but not I think in this sub, so far).</p> <p>Don't worry about submitting a dodgy idea - something you find only marginally interesting might trigger a positive reaction. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140391 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 13:35:13 +0000 Deadcode 140391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Okay, thank you. </p> <p>Now with 100% less mentions of terror groups. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140390 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 13:32:07 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 140390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well I liked it. I'd agree with Sinnick that Al Qaeda isn't necessary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140373 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 12:15:06 +0000 Deadcode 140373@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. This is helpful. </p> <p>I think you're right about Al-Qaeda. This is my first post on here, is it okay to edit it?</p> <p>I wanted to start posting stuff as soon as I could to get feedback. I have feared putting my writing out there and decided to bite the bullet and get some criticism. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140370 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 12:06:45 +0000 Sinnick 140370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. 5*</p> <p>I'd not mention Al Qaeda, as it's a distraction (bizarrely). Maybe:</p> <p>A lone David Steel was seen leaving the building, heard muttering, "Oh, what's the point?"</p> <p>Maybe even put something like that at the end as the punchline ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140361 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 11:59:22 +0000 Deadcode 140361@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There were no large explosions at the Liberal Democrats party conference today failing to engulf the building in smoke, flames or flying debris. The non-explosions, which didn't take place at all today, have been followed by the sporadic sound of nothing interesting happening whatsoever. Immediately after the non-event a terrorist group stepped forward to claim responsibility for not detonating pounds of high explosives in the packed conference centre. </p> <p>Disturbing footage has shown the building completely intact and still standing with people in yellow ties and bewildered looks on their faces entering and exiting the building unimpeded.</p> <p>A number of harrowing first hand reports have been received in the hours since the conference was not bombed and the true extent of the damage is only just being made clear. Nick Clegg, the 45 year old leader of the party is in perfect health, has sadly needed no emergency treatment and has been spotted wandering around the centre making vague statements about the future of the party.</p> <p>A source within the police force has confirmed that there was a credible threat to the conference earlier today, but the group decided to abort the attempt at the last minute.</p> <p>Chief inspector David Chinley, the head of the anti-anti-terrorism task force has revealed plans to make sure non-events of this severity never take place again. In a statement to the BBC he said “We are looking at decreasing security for events like this in the future. We aim to stop searching people on their way in to buildings and look the other way when we see anyone acting suspiciously. Unchecked and unattended vehicles will be allowed to park right outside in the street. We will also follow up on any intelligence we receive about potential threats by putting it to the bottom of a big pile, right underneath the expenses requests for the Christmas party.”</p> <p>It is unclear exactly how much damage has been done to the leadership of Britain by senselessly not bombing today’s conference. It is only once the dust has settled from today's tragic lack of tragedy that the search for answers can really begin. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134382 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 16:51:42 +0000 Nowherefast 134382@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sir. I must object most perspicaciously (courtesy of NHS rations) to your accusative comparison. I am not only currently in possession of both of my testicles but, I also retain the capacity to appreciate a range of artistic styles including, importantly in this instance, the offerings of the Bauhaus movement. I know how to queue, am considerably taller than his reported 175cm, omnivorous and, unlike the now defunct chancellor, as yet free from post mortem immolation. I think that, by any measure, these qualities stand me in superior stead to the aforementioned German gentleman. My moral superiority however I make no major claims to, beyond noting that the urgencies of initiating genocide and armed global conflict or rabidly promoting racial purity remain sufficiently far down the old to do list that I doubt I'll ever really consider any as imperatives. My other morals? Well the tablets do at least make them look quite pretty and shiny as they float, in and out of my peripheral vision, somewhere up near the ceiling... God bless you Nye Bevan sir...God bless you </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134380 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 16:06:07 +0000 arthurminnit 134380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>DAILY medications is it? </p> <p>its people like YOU sir, that are ruining our health service, why, you are no better than Hitler! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134293 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:55:27 +0000 Nowherefast 134293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good god sir no! In the highly unlikely event of my ever gaining the honour It'll take pride of place alongside my 25m swimming certificate and the blue peter badge I won in 1975. I shall then speak loudly of all three as I queue for my daily medications. :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134271 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:05:59 +0000 tedweasel 134271@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sweet.<br /> If it wins this month's mug will you be giving it back? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134267 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:55:19 +0000 cinquecento 134267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* from me </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46676#post-134266 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:42:34 +0000 Nowherefast 134266@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg today added his voice to a growing tide of international disquiet over the BBC's coverage of the London Olympic Games.</p> <p>Speaking in an interview broadcast by Doha based News Channel Al-Jazeera Mr Clegg said:</p> <p>"Look, I think it's really important that, as Britain's national broadcaster wholly funded by the British people, the BBC should not at any time give any indication whatsoever of patriotism or pride in the achievements of the British Olympic Team." He then went on to add: " Of course we in the Liberal Democratic Party share the sense of achievement felt by all of the athletes who are competing in the Olympics, but in the interests of fairness to the wider European and international community we feel that, as representatives of the host nation, any British Athletes who do win medals should remain anonymous. In support of this we are today announcing, a new Liberal Democratic policy initiative, in support of our European partners, that will allow us to confiscate the medals won by any member of the British Olympic team and to return that individual to the back of the queue where he or she can wait their turn like everybody else."</p> <p>Mr Clegg also commented that he was very pleased to hear that the BBC are now reviewing all material held in their archives as far back as 1936 to remove any claims or indications that might suggest an overly patriotic belief that Britain was ever more successful than anybody else in Europe, or the wider world, at anything whatsoever. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41765#post-119137 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 16:05:16 +0000 Sinnick 119137@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hasn't he suffered enough ?</p> <p>No. Some stars, newbie </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41765#post-119133 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:39:14 +0000 clicktingstampz 119133@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>DEPUTY Prime Minister Nick Clegg told last night's BBC documentary “I Woke Up With Dave” how a stroke he suffered two years ago propelled him to power.<br /> He said: “I was with some other LibDem MPs near Westminster, when I fell down a grass bank and completely conked out.<br /> “When I woke up, I was being asked to help form a Government.<br /> “It was definitely the stroke that did it. Before, I'd been part of a small, cuddly political party with no hope of ever achieving anything, but minutes later, I was sacrificing my principles, credibility and the long-term viability of my party for a brief dose of power and a slightly snazzier CV.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96822 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 12:25:39 +0000 mpaterson 96822@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow, thanks everyone! :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96809 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 08:49:24 +0000 Mathna 96809@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant ticker. I've given it 5* just on that basis. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96782 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:30:29 +0000 dvo4fun 96782@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep - Im with bonjo </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96780 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:24:35 +0000 mpaterson 96780@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96763 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:48:23 +0000 bonjonelson 96763@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>great as a ticker </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34226#post-96753 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:44:46 +0000 mpaterson 96753@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>MPs attending an evening debate on welfare reforms were delayed for four hours last night after thieves risked life and limb to steal Vince Cable outside Kings Cross. The rise in this type of crime is thought to be related to the economic crisis and is the latest a spate of Vince Cable thefts across London and the boroughs.<br /> 'People who have been put out of work and are now struggling to make ends meet have taken to stealing Vince Cable wherever they can find him,' said Gordon Roadrage, a spokesman for the Metropolitan Police. 'Vince Cable is being stolen from railways, from telegraph poles. We've found Vince Cable in people's attics and allotment sheds. He's even been sold at car boot sales.'<br /> A replacement Secretary of State for Business Innovation and Skills has been running between the Houses of Commons and the Liberal Democrat Headquarters on Great George Street.<br /> The Chairman of the Board of Governors for Frail Old Has-Beens, Lord Camberwick-Dustybin, has called for CCTV to be installed in Mr. Cable's Fedora. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25406#post-69030 Sat, 21 May 2011 14:35:38 +0000 Jammydodgers 69030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thousands of alleged Liberal Democrat voters awoke this morning to demands for hundreds of pounds in immediate payment or threats of subsequent court action over alleged negligence and complicity in damaging public sector cuts and job losses.</p> <p>The letters, on headed note paper from the lawfirm Spitz,Swallow &amp; Andfinnish claim to be acting on behalf of the Unite Union and are seeking to recover compensation for the losses sustained by union members affected by public sector cuts, and claiming the alleged Liberal Democrat voters "acted negligently on May 6th 2010, in a manner which led directly to considerable material and emotional losses to thousands of Health, Local Government, Military and other Public sector employees and service users." </p> <p>It is unclear how the firm traced the identities of alleged Liberal Democrat voters, and whether the legal actions could succeed if carried out. And while a growing number of letter recipients seem to have settled quickly, in exchange for a guarantee against further indemnity over any actions of the coalition government, the letters have provoked and angry response from many who feel they have been unfairly targeted:</p> <p>A Mr Nicholas Clegg of Sheffield, who received one of the first letters, commented 'This is preposterous! It amounts to extorion with menaces on the flimsiest of premises. How dare they demand money on the back of such spurious and baseless allegations? Just ask anyone who knows me: I have been a Tory supporter all my life!" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24997#post-67866 Thu, 12 May 2011 12:53:52 +0000 OllieP 67866@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What they need are mould-breakers, like the accountant from the first episode who decided to eschew his training and showcase all of his other skills. Turned out he didn't have any other skills. Who knew?</p> <p>Like it by the way. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24997#post-67858 Thu, 12 May 2011 12:24:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 67858@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not just yourself, Iself never used to notice itself that much but once myself's dadself pointed it out to myself itself drives myself insane. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24997#post-67855 Thu, 12 May 2011 12:13:30 +0000 Screenie 67855@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent work. I've not actually watched it but I reckon I can figure out pretty accurately what a bunch of cocks the people on it are. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24997#post-67854 Thu, 12 May 2011 12:13:01 +0000 The Paper Ostrich 67854@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Obrigado - yourself's fine suggestions added. And thanks for pointing out the overuse of 'self' - I thought myself might be the only oneself who noticed it as it's gone far beyond the Apprentice. </p>