http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=lib-dems The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 08:36:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57639#post-170341 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 20:44:26 +0000 writinginbsl 170341@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>some nice ideas </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57639#post-170277 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 11:43:24 +0000 Flash! Aa-aaaa! 170277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only a few days to go! (and only 217 shopping days to Christmas!) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58036#post-168214 Fri, 15 Mar 2013 11:45:05 +0000 Flash! Aa-aaaa! 168214@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"We want to get rid of all those nasty diesel buses and phase in the walking bus instead" said a spokesman today. "Children use them all the time and we think adults should too. You would wait at a stop as usual, the bus would arrive (via the pavement of course) and people would join or leave as required. In cities the journey time could be less than normal buses. We accept that elsewhere it may take hours more but of course country people have way more time so it shouldn't be a problem." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57639#post-167199 Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:14:34 +0000 Flash! Aa-aaaa! 167199@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>From our political correspondent Rufus Tyler:<br /> A large number of Lib Dems (well twenty or so - that IS a large number) have expressed a great anger about many issues today and are planning a demonstration outside Parliament in the form of a "Riot For World Peace".</p> <p>Their leader, Amelia Chelsea-Tractor said today "We are very very annoyed about almost everything so we want as many people to attend and show support. We will start outside the Palace of Westminster on April Fool's Day at 9:30 AM and finish at 11 AM. there will be a short break for muffins and tea, then some speeches and at 11:57 we will have a "speak Your Mind" session that will take us to Midday when we will retire to the "Lazy Stockbroker Bar" for lunch. I hope we get a lot of support - thank you everyone".</p> <p>The party leadership are said to be embarrased by this mutiny and have threatened to stop whipping the ringleaders if they go through with their plans. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165725 Sat, 02 Mar 2013 00:54:51 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 165725@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We need more appreciation of feedback of that calibre around here. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165719 Sat, 02 Mar 2013 00:30:33 +0000 andrewl81 165719@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. Genuinely appreciated the feedback. All taken on board. I'll go away and edit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165675 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:27:59 +0000 shaggy 165675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>maybe 'to instigate reviews after failure of lies at by-election'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165670 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:11:25 +0000 Yikes 165670@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good - FP material.</p> <p>Agree with VCG and Sinnick's points.</p> <p>Maybe 2nd last para ends with "start working on some pretty big lying" it could continue with adding a snappy and humourous example. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165578 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:50:45 +0000 Sinnick 165578@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, like it. 4*. Love the Bulgaria sentence.</p> <p>Agree with VCG's point, the punchline needs, er, more punch.</p> <p>If I had to pick at it, the title might be a little more succinct. Also, you could use other words or phrases to replace the word "lie" - eg, exaggerate, promise, misrepresent, misunderstand, fib, porkies, economical with truth, etc, etc. You could get away with the word or alternatives even more frequently - to good effect.</p> <p>Could mention a training course at Munchausen University ? (sorry, I just made that up) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165574 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:35:55 +0000 Titus 165574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah - good theme. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165570 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:21:05 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 165570@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this.</p> <p>"marginal and slightly racist liars" is a wonderful description of UKIP.</p> <p>I think it would end a little more strongly if you changed "start lying" to "get back to those sort of lies" or something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57166#post-165564 Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:00:33 +0000 andrewl81 165564@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The National Executive of both the Conservative Party and the Labour Party have promised to undertake a wide ranging review looking at the quality of their lies after voters in Eastleigh turned their backs the falsehoods offered by the mainstream parties.</p> <p>At the by election, caused by the resignation of legendary Lib Dem liar Chris Huhne, voters elected Mike Thornton. </p> <p>Commentators have speculated that the Liberal Democrat had won the seat after personally lying to the whole constituency. </p> <p>Local political commentator and expert on local lying Scamp Rake said, "Mike Thornton promised us all that his council would not build houses on green belt land. And then he did. That's an incedible piece of lying. When you add that to the Nick Clegg's lying over the Rennard affair and NHS reform and Student Loans you can see the efforts the Lib Dems are putting in to getting those lies out there." </p> <p>In a stunning result for marginal and slightly racist liars UKIP the voters of Eastleigh took a clear shine to their fable that 70% of Bulgaria was going to move to the constituency unless UKIP was elected.</p> <p>Scamp Rake had harsh words for David Cameron on the quality of his lying, "The Conservatives aren't lying. They are quite openly being cunts. If David Cameron wants to start winning back former Tory voters then he needs to start working on some pretty big lying. </p> <p>A former Labour party member in the constituency claimed he couldn't back Ed Milliband until he know what lies he stands for. The voter said, "Normally when it comes to lying I'd back Labour 100%. I, like many party members remember fondly the lie that took us into a war in Iraq, but that was a long, long time ago. If Ed Milliband wants to be taken seriously he needs to start lying" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55791#post-161215 Tue, 05 Feb 2013 01:12:50 +0000 dvo4fun 161215@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wot no pic pinxit? Nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55791#post-161181 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:46:36 +0000 custard cream 161181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Couldn't have have happened to a nicer man! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55791#post-161135 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 18:45:26 +0000 pinxit 161135@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Disgraced MP Chris Huhne needs round-the-clock supervision after he started telling the truth again, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has warned.</p> <p>Huhne's friend, ex-MP Dr Evan Harris said at the weekend that the former cabinet minister's life was in danger. Harris, who has been in touch with Huhne, said the party had tried repeatedly to help the 58-year-old.</p> <p>"By what Evan says it sounds as if Chris needs almost a 24-hour watching brief at the moment," Clegg told BBC Radio 5 Live. "It seems as if he needs somebody with him all the time just to make sure that he's looked after and is not going to do anything silly, like spilling the beans."</p> <p>Huhne was shaking and slurring his words in court as he changed his plea to guilty on the first day of his trial at Southwark Crown Court, after failing in a bid to have a speeding case dismissed. He had vowed to fight the charges and last week pleaded not guilty under oath, when his teeth promptly fell out and a lightning bolt struck him in the dock.</p> <p>Huhne has openly admitted to having problems with telling lies and spent time in rehab with personal spin doctors immediately before entering talks to form the Conservative/LibDem coalition government.</p> <p>Until now, Mr Clegg has supported Huhne, describing him as having 'balls of steel", but later claimed he was misquoted and had actually said, 'He's got David Steel by the balls." The Lib-Dem leader also claimed 'Chris is one of our big-hitters". Again this was denied as a misquote, saying he had commented "Huhne is one of our biggest bull-shitters."</p> <p>"I've spoken to Chris over the weekend, and he's said it's just a blip. But it really is down to him. We just don't want this to be another Jeremy Thorpe tragedy." said Clegg.</p> <p>"He does need a big support system, and he's got it from lots of friends, if not his ex-wife. But there is a frustration that when things look to be improving, it all goes tits-up. Bastard." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140574 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:28:00 +0000 Deadcode 140574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yah, was surprised by that just now. Thanks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140572 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:24:29 +0000 Sinnick 140572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Seems you got a NiB !! Well done </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140468 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:22:46 +0000 Queen of Tarts 140468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it Deadcode. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140466 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:12:40 +0000 dvo4fun 140466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work Deadcode. Welcome </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140425 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:08:34 +0000 writinginbsl 140425@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140400 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 14:09:02 +0000 Sinnick 140400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You may not be aware that you've 6 hours from the original submission to edit as you see fit. If the Editor publishes it, he may change anything he likes, but usually keeps close to the original style &amp; content, and perhaps tweaking it slightly if he can add value or polish. A hat-tip is in order if you take on someone's significant improvement (but not I think in this sub, so far).</p> <p>Don't worry about submitting a dodgy idea - something you find only marginally interesting might trigger a positive reaction. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140391 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 13:35:13 +0000 Deadcode 140391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Okay, thank you. </p> <p>Now with 100% less mentions of terror groups. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140390 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 13:32:07 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 140390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well I liked it. I'd agree with Sinnick that Al Qaeda isn't necessary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140373 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 12:15:06 +0000 Deadcode 140373@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. This is helpful. </p> <p>I think you're right about Al-Qaeda. This is my first post on here, is it okay to edit it?</p> <p>I wanted to start posting stuff as soon as I could to get feedback. I have feared putting my writing out there and decided to bite the bullet and get some criticism. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140370 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 12:06:45 +0000 Sinnick 140370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. 5*</p> <p>I'd not mention Al Qaeda, as it's a distraction (bizarrely). Maybe:</p> <p>A lone David Steel was seen leaving the building, heard muttering, "Oh, what's the point?"</p> <p>Maybe even put something like that at the end as the punchline ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48694#post-140361 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 11:59:22 +0000 Deadcode 140361@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There were no large explosions at the Liberal Democrats party conference today failing to engulf the building in smoke, flames or flying debris. The non-explosions, which didn't take place at all today, have been followed by the sporadic sound of nothing interesting happening whatsoever. Immediately after the non-event a terrorist group stepped forward to claim responsibility for not detonating pounds of high explosives in the packed conference centre. </p> <p>Disturbing footage has shown the building completely intact and still standing with people in yellow ties and bewildered looks on their faces entering and exiting the building unimpeded.</p> <p>A number of harrowing first hand reports have been received in the hours since the conference was not bombed and the true extent of the damage is only just being made clear. Nick Clegg, the 45 year old leader of the party is in perfect health, has sadly needed no emergency treatment and has been spotted wandering around the centre making vague statements about the future of the party.</p> <p>A source within the police force has confirmed that there was a credible threat to the conference earlier today, but the group decided to abort the attempt at the last minute.</p> <p>Chief inspector David Chinley, the head of the anti-anti-terrorism task force has revealed plans to make sure non-events of this severity never take place again. In a statement to the BBC he said “We are looking at decreasing security for events like this in the future. We aim to stop searching people on their way in to buildings and look the other way when we see anyone acting suspiciously. Unchecked and unattended vehicles will be allowed to park right outside in the street. We will also follow up on any intelligence we receive about potential threats by putting it to the bottom of a big pile, right underneath the expenses requests for the Christmas party.”</p> <p>It is unclear exactly how much damage has been done to the leadership of Britain by senselessly not bombing today’s conference. It is only once the dust has settled from today's tragic lack of tragedy that the search for answers can really begin. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24733#post-67213 Fri, 06 May 2011 20:39:50 +0000 Mrblacker 67213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bugger. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24733#post-67160 Fri, 06 May 2011 12:37:16 +0000 wallster 67160@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24719">I never said nuffing</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24733#post-67155 Fri, 06 May 2011 12:19:47 +0000 Mrblacker 67155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The almost overnight disappearance of hundreds of Liberal Democrat councillors, can't be allowed to happen again, according the the RSPCA.</p> <p>"it's a symptom of our current attitude to the natural world, that most people are content to see the previously plentiful <em>Cleggus Yellowbirdii</em> limited to just a handful of pockets in the UK." Derek Ford from the charity explained.</p> <p>"The problem is that many of these councillors have lost their natural habitat. The centre ground of politics has become overcrowded with Labour and Conservative councillors and there's just nowhere for the Liberal Democrats to go."</p> <p>"We had hoped that having established a toe-hold in Whitehall in London, they might have held on elsewhere, but I think it's proved just too much for them."</p> <p>The charity's now calling on the Government to establish safe havens for the remaining Lib Dem councillors, but that call's likely to fall on deaf ears.</p> <p>A spokesman for David Cameron said that while the Prime Minister sympathised with the Lib Dem's plight, he could do nothing to stop what some are predicting the eventual extinction of the Yellow Bird party as a species.</p> <p>"Besides, Dave's pissing himself over the look on Nick's face." the spokesman continued, amid howls of laughter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19803#post-53413 Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:06:29 +0000 deskpilot3 53413@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Undercover Lib Dem MP is prepared to give evidence in favour of the Conservatives... </p>