http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=l039oreal The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 06:23:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10129#post-28141 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:27:10 +0000 Sharpehunter 28141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I missed this on its original posting.. very good! Do Argos stock it? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10129#post-27721 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:42:14 +0000 Griffin 27721@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Melodrama clinics also sounds good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10129#post-27720 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:39:24 +0000 jp1885 27720@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Available from all good pharmacists, burn wards and melonoma clinics.</p> <p>(hmm, I think I'll add that bit in!) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10129#post-27709 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:12:54 +0000 Ostsee 27709@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Where do I buy it? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10129#post-27682 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 07:54:25 +0000 jp1885 27682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Want that sophisticated aura of the Brit abroad but don't fancy that greasy foreign food?<br /> Want that healthy all-over needling tingle but are put off by the exchange rate?<br /> Want look like you've been broiling on a beach in Magaluf but don't want to collect the newspaper coupons?</p> <p><strong>Then try new L'Oreal SunBurn!</strong></p> <p>Available in economy, standard and now new family size, simply shake your tin of L'Oreal SunBurn and spray from a distance of at least ten centimetres for an all-over burn.*</p> <p>Made with organic Mediterranean lobster pigment, just one can of new L'Oreal SunBurn will turn your entire body a deep and luscious pink, giving you such a vivid, luminescent hue that your colleagues will think you've been dozing by the pool in Zakynthos during your week off work, not sitting on the sofa in your pyjamas catching up on Grey's Anatomy.</p> <p><em>"With new L'Oreal SunBurn I look like a raspberry!"</em> - Mrs. A, Scunthorpe.<br /> <em>"I can barely sit down!"</em> - Mrs. K, Hereford.<br /> <em>"For Christ's sake don't touch me!"</em> - Mrs. F, Chester.</p> <p>L'Oreal SunBurn also comes with our revolutionary Peel™ technology, allowing your coating of SunBurn to flake off in just five days!<br /> Available from all good pharmacists, burn wards and melonoma clinics.</p> <p>*Please keep away from eyes, teeth and hair.</p> <p>And why not add a hint of romance to your 'holiday' with L'Oreal's new StubbleRash range? Just one dab from our patented wire wool applicator and hey presto: a night of passion with Diego the pool attendant or that lad from Huddersfield!<br /> (Available in Stubble, Sand and Unspecified Medical Condition). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5726 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:28:59 +0000 The All New Jeni B 5726@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It certainly wrecked Mr B's figure. During my pregnancy imposed alcohol exile, Mr B decided to consume my allowance too, resulting in him now having the fine figure of an 8 month pregnant lady, while I still have the flat, toned, six-pack I had pre-pregnancy.<br /> My arse and thighs have never quite recovered though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5710 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:15:25 +0000 nealdoran 5710@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll be careful. Getting pregnant would wreak havoc with my figure. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5706 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:08:21 +0000 Mary Evans 5706@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well trust me, you need to be careful. You have no idea what that stuff is capable of.<br /> Oh, and sperm could get someone pregnant too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5705 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:05:59 +0000 nealdoran 5705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just the occasional thing I toss off in a reflective moment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5702 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:59:11 +0000 Mary Evans 5702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dare I ask what you're sending? And what you expect them to use it for? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5693 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:27:07 +0000 nealdoran 5693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I know Stan. I keep sending them stuff, but they never use it, the bastards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5688 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:17:02 +0000 Stan Laurel 5688@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is always NHS direct..... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5676 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:42:03 +0000 PluckyMunky 5676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Westwell: </p> <p>"Sorry, what's an "FP"? I'm only here for the bitching, whinging and small talk about shoulders.</p> <p>If you want to talk about writing comedy, piss off to a comedy writing site, for god's sake! "</p> <p>I presume this is, again, aimed at me. You don't think I contribute in other ways, then? I contribute to the writers' page. Not many of them are successful but I get a few on the ticker tape. Broken shoulders and manic depression are not 'small talk' but I think they are probably all food for humour too. Sorry if I have offended you, as well. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5675 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:28:42 +0000 nealdoran 5675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers folks, but mysteriously albino nasal hair is a very serious issue Vince, I just hope I helped raise awareness.</p> <p>You're right Jez, a bit of a different type of FP, but when I came back after my self-imposed exile, I tried to get back in NB shape with an effort at what I think stunts christened as a bint-flap -- an anagram of the initials of ticker, news in brief, front page and left alert achieved in a single month -- and this sub was my LA attempt. That newest of categories still eludes me, but I'd not be so churlish as to complain...</p> <p>And ahoy-hoy Marge, hope that intimate itching condition cleared up. Seeing as I haven't seen it featured in intricate detail in chat, I can only assume you're feeling minty fresh all over. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5628 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 12:58:07 +0000 rickwestwell 5628@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry, what's an "FP"? I'm only here for the bitching, whinging and small talk about shoulders.</p> <p>If you want to talk about writing comedy, piss off to a comedy writing site, for god's sake! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5607 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 11:15:17 +0000 Mary Evans 5607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovin' your work, Babs.If less enamoured of your coloured nasal hair. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5604 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 11:08:03 +0000 allmyownstunts 5604@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'just-blown glow' bllleeeeeuuuurrrggghhhh!</p> <p>what are you trying to do to us Neal?! </p> <p>x </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1895#post-5582 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 09:52:54 +0000 MADJEZ 5582@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I shall forward to my former colleagues at a certain French cosmetics company renowned for having no sense of humour (well they are French). They might even steal your idea. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3789 Wed, 24 Mar 2010 11:13:00 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 3789@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it.</p> <p>Neal's back. (Presumably he's been on some overseas telecoms junket) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3729 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 22:24:16 +0000 nealdoran 3729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ooh, now I do like that. My only reservation would be it kind of suggests ageing men with unruly eyebrows and ample nose hair should be on some kind of Offenders list. And I don't think that's quite fair on us. Them. Fair on them.</p> <p>Des, the initiation involves wangling in a reference to not having received your mug yet into an otherwise unrelated thread. (The post has been having all sorts of trouble since last October, I believe). And from what I know of some of the WoMs, there's plenty of all night drinking sessions, just not necessarily when anyone else is around. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3690 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:13:12 +0000 malgor 3690@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe the clue to the punchline is in the title, but slightly amended to '...<em>rekindle</em> your lost youth', with a punchline something along the lines:</p> <p>Want to win back your lost youth? A little grooming may be all it takes.</p> <p>Not much good, I know, but felt I should at least try to make a suggestion. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3607 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 12:20:33 +0000 Des Custard 3607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Neal, although I still preferred the old days, man, but you just gotta make compromises to get on. Anyway, it's a bit boring: no initiation ceremonies, no club magazine, no loyalty scheme, no all-night drinking sessions...or maybe that's only for multiple winners. And I refuse to call you Babs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3593 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:45:07 +0000 nealdoran 3593@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, and I think you're right about the end Malgor, I thought it needed to end on a you're worth it line, and that was the best I could manage, .</p> <p>The only other post catchphrase disclaimer I had was: </p> <p>*Not available for women because they obviously don't get body hair, right?</p> <p>But thought it might be a bit 'right-on'... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3590 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:39:47 +0000 nealdoran 3590@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all and hello again. Where have I been Des? Long story, but basically I took a wrong turn trying to get into new Writers' Room, and ended up in far off places seeing some things a woman's not supposed to see. And I don't think I'll be able to look Albert II of Belgium in the eye ever again.</p> <p>And belated congrats on your thoroughly deserved WOMhood. And about bloody time too. I remember back in your hippy youth when the whole WOM idea was first floated and you were all peace and free love and worried that The Man was harshing the vibes with competitions and prizes. Glad you've come over to the dark side! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3567 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:08:35 +0000 Des Custard 3567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Where have you been? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3555 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:07:07 +0000 sauce 3555@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Laughing my fluffy bits off, Babs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3547 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:26:38 +0000 edward hack 3547@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So that's how you do it - what about 'pubeaway' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3539 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 00:33:42 +0000 malgor 3539@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well-written, great gags, with a sparkle of originality. Could maybe do with a better punchline, but 5* anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1350#post-3533 Mon, 22 Mar 2010 23:26:49 +0000 nealdoran 3533@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Here in the L’Oreal for Men laboratories, we know how it is, you’ve been around the block a few times, have a perfect family and your career is going great -- even if it isn’t quite what you planned when you took that chemistry degree. You’re streetwise but still young at heart. That’s why it can be a shock on that morning when you first spot that embarrassing and unnecessary white nasal hair.</p> <p>And that’s why we developed L’Oreal Men Nose White-Away with its specially developed Nostrilium Hirsutilox (r) formula that will restore the colour of your nasal hair in a range of rich, natural tones and add a glossy sheen and vibrancy to give your greying nostrils that luxurious just-blown glow. </p> <p>And the new L’Oreal For Men body hair range doesn’t stop at rejuvenating your manly nose tufts, there’s a nourishing vitamin-enriched eyebrow wax guaranteed to bring back the glamour of the Dennis Healy years, and a frizz-away spray that’s ideal for giving a sleek finish and full control of those tricky little curly hairs on your earlobes, and well, anywhere else you might feel the need for soft and bouncy, strokeable locks – like your shoulders.</p> <p>So go on, celebrate hair that will stay masculine yet alluring everywhere except on your head, because you’re worth it! </p> <p>And, no, before you ask, we don’t have Cheryl Cole’s mobile number. </p>