http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=kate-middleton The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 00:12:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58192#post-168744 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 00:32:26 +0000 Seanj87 168744@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kate Middleton's baby will have various superhuman abilities, it was today announced by her team of doctors.</p> <p>The news came as a shock to Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, when they were told that their child would 'be better' than other humans. Doctors have run various tests and have confirmed that the baby will be able to levitate off the ground, and shoot laser beams from its eyes, similar to the character of 'Cyclops' in the comic book 'X-Men'. </p> <p>The royal couple issued a statement saying they 'are just glad their baby is healthy'but joked that they may have to move the expensive furniture out of the house after it is born. Kate went on to say that she would have preferred their firstborn to have the power to control the weather; 'wouldn't that be amazing? But the ability to shoot laser beams from its eyes is still great, and the flying thing, William and I are very excited by that'. After the announcement Prince William tweeted 'just found out baby has superpowers, could take over the world? No only joking, or am I?'</p> <p>The superhuman gene is thought to have been passed down from William's grandmother, the Queen. Queen Elizabeth recently revealed that she has the ability to shape shift into a corgi. She said that she enjoys morphing into a dog and going for a walk around London, 'whenever one feels like getting away from everyone, and out of the limelight.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53061#post-152808 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:06:31 +0000 Alfred Noakes 152808@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>While thousands of well wishers have sent cards and greetings to the Duchess of Cambridge, for the coming birth of her baby, an interesting insight into the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s daily lives was given today. </p> <p>Prince William, believed to be the father of Kate’s future child, granted an interview, disclosing details about the domestic life of the royal parents-to-be. </p> <p>He said that originally, the couple were going to wait a little longer, in order to save a bit of money up, before starting a family, but ‘Kate said, ‘Fuck it, your grandmother’s one of the richest women in the world, we’ll be all right’. </p> <p>Prince Charles and Camilla have offered to babysit for William and Kate, and, in order that they can go out and get absolutely shit-faced drunk, once in a while, will look after the little mite the next morning as well. </p> <p>Prince Harry has offered to buy a new pram, with all the attachments and things, ‘cos they can easily cost over £500’. The Prince is banned from going to Vegas now, so has nothing else to spend his cash on. </p> <p>The Duke of Cambridge has been excitedly choosing décor and furnishings for the nursery and was going to get his overalls out and do it up this coming weekend. However, ‘Kate said ‘Fuck it. Why don’t you get the sodding servants to get their hands dirty instead and we can go Christmas shopping instead’. </p> <p>Kate, who has been in hospital, suffering from morning sickness, a condition which 95% of pregnant women experience, will take a break from her arduous work schedule of being driven around the country, waving to people. </p> <p>Rumours that Prince Harry fathered three children while on holiday in Las Vegas cannot be confirmed at this stage. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48818#post-140806 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 21:55:37 +0000 The Last Detail 140806@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More soon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138628 Mon, 17 Sep 2012 09:30:32 +0000 willedwards 138628@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Send the WoM mug now!! Well over 2,000 likes!!</blockquote></p> <p>Is there actually a mug?! Well that would just make my month. (Although there are 2 weeks left of September of course, sure someone here will rise to the challenge).</p> <p>Thanks for all the positive comments, glad it went down well.</p> <p>I did also see some on Twitter and Facebook who thought it was real, which was rather hilarious... I guess good satire should always have a ring of plausibility about it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138577 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 21:48:46 +0000 Martin Shuttlecock 138577@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I loved this. Fresh and funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138574 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 21:44:08 +0000 writinginbsl 138574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wot they said </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48154#post-138572 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 21:40:09 +0000 FlashArry 138572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Video has been pulled by the user - guess he was for real ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48144#post-138571 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 21:15:32 +0000 Drylaw 138571@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Where can I get a copy? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138569 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 20:54:59 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 138569@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff, and I think Yikes is right; first sub straight to FP, straight to WOM. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48154#post-138562 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 20:13:31 +0000 button 138562@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That is funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48154#post-138561 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 19:39:57 +0000 Perks 138561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If he is for real, that is brilliant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48154#post-138560 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 19:34:27 +0000 Simply The Past 138560@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>By the way, great FP, as is today's </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48144#post-138559 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 19:34:21 +0000 Reg Herring 138559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars 4 using cunt </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48154#post-138556 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 19:27:35 +0000 Simply The Past 138556@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67W1MDy90c" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67W1MDy90c</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48144#post-138513 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 08:53:52 +0000 Anonymous 138513@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cunt Magazine will tomorrow publish a 24 page colour centre-spread of nude Kate Middleton photographs.</p> <p>Editor in chief, Max Penis, issued a simultaneous statement, declaring that Cunt's huge readership (circulation 6.4billion) was entitled to 'full disclosure' of all details surrounding Miss Middleton's vagina, pert breasts and promising bottom.</p> <p>“What's the exact circumference and length of her nipples?” he asked. “We have the right to know! Is she hairy down below, full Brazilian - or is there some kind of highly secret fashionable variant? All shall be revealed at tomorrow's midday launch.”</p> <p>Penis, a 23 year old product of the celebrated Rupert Murdoch graduate trainee programme, claimed that Cunt would be revealing shocking and sensational details of Miss Middleton's vagina, as part of its ongoing core policy to serve the legitimate demands of pubic interest.</p> <p>“This bombshell of world headline news photos were taken by internationally respected paparazzo Mr Pepe Moldini,” he revealed. </p> <p>Using a 24inch radio telescope from a secret site in the Himalayas, Moldini successfully zoomed-in on the open bathroom window of a 5* Kuala Lumpur hotel, wherein Miss Middlelton was secretly attempting to take a warm shower. “No attractive woman can ever hide from the truth,” Penis warned. </p> <p>“Whoever you are, wherever you are. - whatever secrets you are trying to conceal or suppress. The long lens of the press will eventually bring you to justice.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138488 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 00:13:34 +0000 Yikes 138488@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Send the WoM mug now!! Well over 2,000 likes!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138441 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 17:31:16 +0000 waylandsmithy 138441@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dustybin, it's very encouraging. It just shows that if you write something funny that fits the site format, there's a good chance it'll get used. Being topical helps too.</p> <p>There's some really good stuff from new names being put on the boards at the moment, and the editors are picking it up despite all the background noise and bickering. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138440 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 17:20:22 +0000 Ironduke 138440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Superb concept and great execution.</p> <p>Allez WillEdwards! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138395 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 12:50:23 +0000 DustyBinLaden 138395@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done on the FP. You earned it. Looks like the newbies are getting a bit of an airing, which is encouraging. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138380 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:37:25 +0000 ramblesid 138380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Should I say Royal Tunbridge Wells Wanderers is shit? Des, or should one say Royal Tunbridge Wells Wanderers are really rather jolly good? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138377 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:30:19 +0000 JohnA 138377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138373 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:08:48 +0000 Yikes 138373@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What a debut! Close to 500 "likes" and climbing ... tweeted by the English Defence League, lol!</p> <p>Could this be WoM for a first sub??</p> <p>Edit: having looked at a couple of tweets I have an uneasy feeling that some people have not picked up that this story is satirical!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138372 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:01:10 +0000 reforse 138372@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fantastic, half asleep but when I switched from the BBC to NB I thought it was real for a sec. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138370 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:50:39 +0000 Perks 138370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This are a lovely FP, good job. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138367 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:43:04 +0000 Des Custard 138367@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Same with football teams: we say 'Man U are shit' when we should say 'Man U is shit'.</p> <p>Superb FP. More soon, I trust. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48102#post-138354 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 09:08:28 +0000 Otto Jespersen 138354@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is funny! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138320 Sat, 15 Sep 2012 05:24:57 +0000 Golgo13 138320@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely "claims" is correct? </p> <p>(Government = singular)</p> <p>Although in UK English, we often treat it as an implied plural. </p> <p>Congrats on FP by the way. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138314 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 23:06:19 +0000 willedwards 138314@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woo! Front page, thanks guys!</p> <p>Just noted one small grammar fail - can it please be changed to "“The French government <strong>claim</strong> they can’t stop the publication..." (rather than 'claims' as it is now)?</p> <p>Thanks again,</p> <p>W </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138313 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:40:43 +0000 HIGNFY 138313@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fantastic, 5 stars from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48101#post-138308 Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:12:38 +0000 waylandsmithy 138308@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FP, surely? </p>