http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=kate The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:43:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62769#post-182703 Thu, 20 Jun 2013 08:16:51 +0000 Not Amused 182703@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, I nearly didn't read it ... Stars though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62769#post-182679 Thu, 20 Jun 2013 06:28:19 +0000 Wrenfoe 182679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great story....I don't think the title does it justice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62769#post-182660 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:13:53 +0000 andrewl81 182660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Buckingham Palace have cited "safety reasons" behind the decision to have the baby delivered at London's private St Mary's Hospital.</p> <p>The Royal Family believe that a private birth is the only way to stop the giant, corrupted space lizard resulting from William's ancient and regnant sperm and Kate Middleton's battered commoner womb from attacking doctors, nurses and other patients.</p> <p>Royal expert Dr John Swan said:</p> <p>"There's a fairly decent chance that Will and Kate's space lizard baby will run around feasting on the souls of the first humans it comes across. Thankfully by going private none of the doctors or nurses the child meets will actually have souls. It's the sensible decision."</p> <p>The couple have declared that they want to keep the sex of the child a "surprise" right up until the ancient and traditional blooding service of the Royal Families home world Mh'ocan. </p> <p>Dr Swan said:</p> <p>"It doesn't matter the sex of the child really. Be it male, bhotan'hj or hurugagan it will one day be our king or queen." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52733#post-151832 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 10:26:48 +0000 HenryMJUK 151832@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>New Royal Baby to be named ‘Your Highness’ – a Palace Spokesperson explained – “The choice of name for the new Royal Baby is vitally important, both Wills and Kate recognize how things have changed since the Victorian era. Traditional names are very difficult to justify, now we are in the 21st century. Furthermore, it is well known, neither Wills nor Kate are enthusiastic about the adoption of place names (representing the conceiving location), although Princess Môn does have a certain je ne sai quoi! – Secretly, the likelihood of Môn being corrupted and the colloquial use of ’Man’ being adopted (with greetings such as ‘Hey Man’ or ‘Yo Man’ becoming commonplace), scares the living daylights out of the Queen. </p> <p>So, in a complete break with tradition, yet as an acknowledgement of tradition, and in adopting the modern parlance of using ones first name only (as if that individual was born completely out of parent hood), the Royal couple have settled on the name of “Your Highness” for the new Royal Baby". </p> <p>Tracey, the peoples spokesperson from Thorpe Bay, read a prepared statement ….. “it’s awesome man, such a kool name, ones immediately on first name terms with the new royal, yet it is RESPECT, wikk’eeed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44366#post-126912 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:39:42 +0000 Sinnick 126912@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice piece, but it's best to mark your own work after a few others have had a say, or you get desperate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44366#post-126906 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:15:29 +0000 TiffindeVere 126906@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, is working on a three-part episodic show with his newly-reformed production company which hopes to capture on film for the first time in history the moment of conception of a Royal child. </p> <p>A close aide of Prince Edward has gone on record as saying, “The show will feature William and Kate in a variety of intimate scenarios, filmed predominantly in the bedroom of their apartment in Clarence House, surrounded by well-known public figures from the world of film, TV and politics dressed in an assortment of bad costumes, prancing about in the background committing career suicide. John Travolta is set to appear in several scenes dressed as a giant onion.”</p> <p>Rumours that Pippa Middleton will take part in the programme have been quashed, with the aide revealing, “His Royal Highness Prince Edward will not allow Kate to be outshone by her sister’s buttocks.” A close friend of the Earl of Wessex revealed that Edward has categorically told all those involved that “the only arse that will upstage the Duchess of Cambridge will be me”.</p> <p>‘It’s A Royal Knock-Up’ will air on Channel 4 in late summer. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44048#post-126014 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 19:11:20 +0000 dvo4fun 126014@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OK. We clearly need to agree the rules for this caption competition ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44048#post-126007 Wed, 13 Jun 2012 17:24:14 +0000 greigewart 126007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following recent spending cuts The Ministry of Defence unveils Britain's new independent nuclear deterrent: </p> <p><img src="http://cdn.thedailybeast.com/content/dailybeast/articles/2012/06/13/kate-s-big-push/_jcr_content/body/inlineimage_4.img.503.jpg/1339595917271.cached.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28682#post-80362 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:38:40 +0000 tezza 80362@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surprised many passengers on board a FlyBe plane when they boarded the flight in Edinburgh on their way home after the wedding of Zara Philips and Mike Tindall. Initially what started out to be an exciting encounter soon turned into a shocking scene as Tracy Burns, a school teacher from Edinburgh recalls.<br /> <blockquote>'I went to shake William's hand and he just stared at me with these cold, dead eyes. I broke the awkward silence by congratulating them on their wedding but he interrupted and said "you're in my seat peasant, now get out and don't you dare touch me!"</blockquote><br /> Other witnesses heard the outburst from the Duke which was soon followed by a tirade of abuse from the Duchess, reportedly mocking the school teacher of cheap tastes in fashion. The unexpected exchange soon prompted jeers from other passengers as Burns had the demeaning task of removing her bags and locating another seat in the aircraft.<br /> Airline staff confirmed that a verbal altercation took place between the Royals and another passenger and that the atmosphere soon turned very sour.<br /> Jane Thomas, a stewardess on board the flight, told police that 'the Duke was waving his hand luggage at nearby passengers and threatening that he could all have them hanged in the Tower Of London - I didn't even know that place still existed.'<br /> Even once flight staff managed to control the situation and the aircraft successfully departed on schedule, there was still more trouble from the couple. Demanding a "magnum of champagne and a bowl of caviar", the Duke and Duchess then vented their anger and frustration on the staff and continued to do so for the duration of the flight.<br /> Meanwhile, Prince Harry alarmed easyJet staff when he calmly approached the pilot's door and asked if he could fly the plane. What was more concerning for the people on board the flight was the fact that he was dressed in a Nazi uniform, an outfit he undoubtedly kept in his hand luggage and changed into in the toilets.<br /> At this point several flight attendants warily approached the Prince and politely explained how members of the public are unable to gain access to the cockpit and that he should return to his seat. A nearby passenger, Jackie Wilson, told our sources that Prince Harry said "I'm no member of public, I'm a f***ing Prince and if I can fly a helicopter I'm sure I can fly some s***ty plane!"<br /> Revelations of such aggressive behavior are sure to shock the public and ruin the squeaky clean image of the Royal couple and Prince Harry. Clarence House were asked for an official statement but gave no comment. In light of these events, Clarence House will no doubt reconsider attempts on making members of the Royal Family seem like ordinary folk and arrange private flights. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25906#post-70502 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 18:50:06 +0000 dogwheels 70502@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Daily Express newspaper has said it will not rest until it discovers the truth about the death of Kate, Duchess of Cambridge.</p> <p>Although the newly-married royal is still alive, the paper‘s editor said he wanted to make sure the Express was not caught out as it was with the Princess of Wales’s death.</p> <p>The paper has spent the last 14 years trying to discover the truth around the demise of Kate’s late mother in law and has still not solved the case, despite featuring it on its front page on a near daily basis.</p> <p>Editor Timothy Wimothy said: “When Diana was killed in that so-called 'accident', it came totally out of the blue – we were caught sleeping and the truth has alluded us ever since.</p> <p>"If we had been a bit quicker of the mark, we could have picked up some really important leads that were then lost.</p> <p>“Subsequently, we’ve been left with so many questions, mainly: ‘What is the truth about Diana’s death?’, which we ask our readers regularly.</p> <p>“But we won’t be making that mistake again with Kate when she goes.</p> <p>"And that’s why we’ve already started looking into how and why she could die and, most importantly, how many front page stories we can squeeze out of it.” </p> <p>Mr Wimothy said he had a group of reporters and photographers on motorbikes following the young duchess’ every move, night and day, to make sure the Express is on the scene when she dies.</p> <p>And the paper's chiefs have also commissioned a set of commemorative front page templates ready for the sad announcement, the editor revealed.</p> <p>"Having our men following her is an especially important measure when she is abroad, we all know what those foreigners are like, chasing our royals all over the place," said Mr Wimothy.</p> <p>He added, "Things will be different this time, we'll make sure of it." </p>