http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=john The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 20:44:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29156#post-81768 Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:44:18 +0000 DavidEllisKent 81768@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Inspector Gadget fans across the globe were shocked to their very (bionic) core today when Microsoft and Google announced they would be launching a bidding war for patents linked to the infinite amount of gizmos tucked away inside the lovable children’s TV cyborg character Inspector Gadget.</p> <p>Google have previously accused Microsoft of going after bogus patents to discredit Android.</p> <p>Therefore in order to teach them a lesson, Google’s attention has now been focused on the infamous Inspector, figuring that if they are going to go after bogus patents, they might as well go for the really cool ones.</p> <p>Microsoft has retaliated by entering a bidding war and justified the exercise to their shareholders by asking them “Where do you want to go today? Anywhere you like if we use Inspector Gadget’s gyroscopic hat copter.”</p> <p>Gadget’s evil nemesis Dr Claw has been reported to be apoplectic with rage:- “How am I meant to get him <strong>NEXT TIME!!!</strong> if they are going to harvest his organs and place him in the next-gen smartphone? I suppose I could jab the keys on him really hard. He was a worthy foe, guess I am going to have to Go-Go-Get over it!!!”</p> <p>Penny &amp; Brain were unable to comment at this time, as they are busy working on a feature length live action, motion capture film version of their escapades directed by Steven Spielbeard and starring Noah “The nose...look at his nose...he is the Inspector” Wyle. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70460 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:53:33 +0000 Dick Everyman 70460@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the tip VCG! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70440 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:13:03 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 70440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can edit it for 6 hours after you post it. I very rarely leave anything as it was when I originally posted it, either adding/stealing suggestions from other people, putting something else in that I didn't think of at first, or just tidying it up a bit having read it back. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70438 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:09:39 +0000 Dick Everyman 70438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, agree with both of you. I enjoyed writing it but published it too soon methinks so need to hold back next time!!! Liked the idea of pirates meeting their match. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70423 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:38:15 +0000 bonjonelson 70423@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>or the pirates being outgunned by the locals?</p> <p>The punchline doesn't work, unfortunately </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70412 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:57:20 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 70412@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree with Bonjo, very good idea but maybe needs a little work.</p> <p>Perhaps something about the pirates having boarded armed with a variety of weapons but then finding that they had been stolen by the scousers? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70405 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:37:46 +0000 Dick Everyman 70405@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for comments Bonjo ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70400 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:10:41 +0000 bonjonelson 70400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>needs a little work, but has potential. Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25880#post-70395 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 09:57:31 +0000 Dick Everyman 70395@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A passenger ferry crossing from Liverpool to Birkenhead was stormed by Somali pirates last night with more than thirty passengers and crew on board. The Manchester Ship Canal is now on full alert after a group of militia men armed with AK47’s hijacked the ferry apparently disguised as Ken Dodd lookalikes.</p> <p>Eye witness, Pete Donoghue said, “I was on my way back from Harry Ramsdens feeling a bit bloated like when I saw these guys in a big rubber dinghy smashing into the side of the ferry. A couple of the passengers helped them up. They must have thought it was a stag do gone wrong or something.”</p> <p>Port officials and Merseyside police have confirmed that thirty people are being held by the pirates and, in a dramatic phone call from one passenger to his girlfriend he said that a large amount of bling had already been stolen from passengers, but this was before the hijackers had boarded the vessel.</p> <p>In a statement to the Commons Stephen Twigg, Labour MP for Liverpool West Derby, said. “I am very concerned that innocent Liverpudlians have been caught up in this situation and need to establish if this is related to recent cuts to British Waterways’ budgets. However if Somali pirates continue to come to Liverpool they can expect a proper Kirby kiss.”</p> <p>There are now serious concerns that essential food aid shipments to Liverpool and Manchester will be affected if piracy begins to take hold in the region. </p> <p>Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist reports received from the International Maritime Organisation state that a Liverpool registered vessel has been involved in pirate attacks on merchant ships in Somali territorial waters. A senior port official in Mogadishu said, “If there’s any robbing to do around here we don’t want any Scousers sticking their oar in, thank you very much.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3847#post-11349 Fri, 07 May 2010 13:19:47 +0000 riesler 11349@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>:-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3847#post-11341 Fri, 07 May 2010 13:04:29 +0000 Adam Ice Rink 11341@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3847#post-11010 Wed, 05 May 2010 21:23:26 +0000 fernandomando 11010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A post that made me groan. It was not unpleasant however. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3847#post-11007 Wed, 05 May 2010 20:43:38 +0000 Adam Ice Rink 11007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>... 'cause Surrey seems to be the hardest ward. </p>