http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=i039m-a-celebrity The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 00:19:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-150243 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:45:13 +0000 Squudge 150243@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ta for the NiB (2nd one in 2 days - yay!)</p> <p>Please can I be credited?<br /> <em>(it just says 'Guest' ...I know Guest posted my General Pull Out one yesterday but that had my namecheck at the footer)</em> - ta </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-149958 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:36:08 +0000 antharrison 149958@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just seen this - very funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148778 Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:54:46 +0000 custard cream 148778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great stuff - max. stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148679 Wed, 14 Nov 2012 06:38:27 +0000 Squudge 148679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yikes - I think you are right but I only gave the little fella 10 minutes of my time. I could have him rolling on his back and the last sentence then stands up better. Or for a brief NiB, cutting the last line works.</p> <p>Due to the fast time expiry on this one, and the fact I have loaded a dozen or so without result in a short time, I'm just bunging this one over the wall to another (perhaps less selective) pub. Mainly to keep my presence alive as I haven't even logged on with them for over a month. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148676 Wed, 14 Nov 2012 05:20:08 +0000 Yikes 148676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one!</p> <p>I wonder if the last line adds anything?? Perhaps finish at end of previous para or think up a new killer last line ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148668 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:54:35 +0000 Squudge 148668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wishes to apologise to any rats who were offended by this post </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148667 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:53:24 +0000 Dick Everyman 148667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Who told you I was a policeman? If you don't get a NiB for this one I shall be making enquiries... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148666 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:48:23 +0000 Squudge 148666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>&gt;,&lt;</p> <p>no, no, NO!</p> <p>don't you understand the concept of proportionality and necessity?<br /> &lt;deep sigh&gt;</p> <p>you obviously advocate the use of unecessary farce - you should not be allowed to roam free with a truncheon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148665 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:45:36 +0000 Dick Everyman 148665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aw poor Squudge too! Would 'slithering into her gusset' be acceptable? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148661 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:37:13 +0000 Squudge 148661@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>your amendment would be a tad too much for publication </p> <p>...enough trauma for poor Colin as it is </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148660 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:30:35 +0000 Dick Everyman 148660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aw poor Colin! Slithering up her snatch would have more impact though ;0) But that's just me!!! Have some stars though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51680#post-148658 Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:26:02 +0000 Squudge 148658@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A cockroach is still undergoing trauma counselling days after an apalling experience that many are citing as 'a stunt too far'.</p> <p>Despite support from his extended family, many who found themselves in the same boat (or bucket, being tipped over Nadine Dorries), Colin is finding it hard to come to terms with what has happened.</p> <p>"It all seemed like a bit of fun to start with, and I thought, well, maybe it would be a bit horrid, but I would come out of it a more rounded cockroach". Colin explained how it then all got out of control. "I lost my bearings then found myself actually slithering over her belly, and couldn't stop myself going into her shorts. It was awful". </p> <p>Several of his colleagues then needed to gently stroke Colin with their antennae before he felt able to continue, "I felt a bead of her sweat actually trickle up under my carapace!" he sobbed. "I rolled around in dung afterwards, and even found a putrescing rat corpse to bathe in. I still can't seem to get clean!"</p> <p>After that we were asked to leave, as Colin was unable to continue. Our thoughts are with his friends and family at this time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16608#post-44950 Wed, 24 Nov 2010 11:00:51 +0000 Basil_B 44950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bring back hanging, especially as a jungle trial. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16608#post-44917 Wed, 24 Nov 2010 09:58:00 +0000 IABP 44917@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bring back the Forsyte Saga. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16608#post-44916 Wed, 24 Nov 2010 09:54:10 +0000 De-scribe 44916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yay! 5*s </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16608#post-44905 Wed, 24 Nov 2010 09:30:50 +0000 Oxbridge 44905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The British people are in an increasingly angry mood because someone who has been dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle on television for 8 weeks/6 weeks/a few days has been allowed to carry on dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle for a while longer, despite clearly not being as competent at dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle as someone else who has had to stop doing it.</p> <p>'It's so wrong,' said Maureen Stubbs, a distressed, 43-year-old waste of oxygen from Luton. 'Anne Widdecombe/Wagner/Gillian McKeith is nowhere near as good as Felicity Kendal/Paije Richardson/Nigel Havers, but after we've voted on it, she/he is still there and he/she is gone. Is this what we fought the Nazis for?'</p> <p>According to nearly every idiot who can somehow raise the energy to think about this, Anne Widdecombe/Wagner/Gillian McKeith moves about the floor with all the grace of a rhino on mogadon/sounds like a drain full of chemical waste being cleared/is clearly a complete and utter fruitcake who has a phobia about bloody everything and that she/he should therefore no longer be dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle, because it makes a mockery of everything.</p> <p>However, a minority of the cretins, who pretend to watch the dancing/singing/twatting about the Australian jungle programme in an ironic post-modern sort of way, argue that the rest of the cretins are missing the point about reality TV.</p> <p>'It's a popularity contest, not a talent contest,' said Jeremy Strang, some vacuous tosser from north London. 'We are like the Ancient Roman crowds, we live vicariously through the mass media and enjoy seeing washed-out celebrities/delusional wannabes make fools of themselves, so we keep voting them in until we tire of them. Anyway, it doesn't matter because Matt and Aliona/Cher Lloyd/Shaun Ryder will win in the end.'</p> <p>Clarifying government policy on the subject, David Cameron said: 'For myself, I prefer Pamela and James/Rebecca Ferguson/Dom Joly, but it's all just a bit of harmless fun that brings the great British family together of an evening ... What's that Skippy? Nuclear strike on South Korea, 5 million dead? Oh, aren't they NAUGHTY?' </p>