http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=his-ass-hurts The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 05:23:01 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20509#post-55335 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:03:48 +0000 melody 55335@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>racist burro ,bastada </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20509#post-55334 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:58:58 +0000 Doylem 55334@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>wish I'd thought of that</blockquote></p> <p>"You will, Oscar, you will"... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20509#post-55328 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:27:00 +0000 Oxbridge 55328@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Underground - gaaah, wish I'd thought of that. How could I have forgotten the 2,300 who were forced into the Madrid subway and had bazookas fired at them after Real Madrid got an away draw in the third round of the Copa del Rey? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20509#post-55319 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:58:41 +0000 Doylem 55319@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. I thought the whole donkey/belltower thing had gone underground. Lift shafts... Stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20509#post-55315 Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:27:13 +0000 Oxbridge 55315@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Donkeys all over Spain have sighed with gratitude - or in some cases gulped through the stranglehold of their reins - following Rafael Nadal's surprise exit in the quarter finals of the Australian Open. Many had feared that, if Nadal had won and thereby completed the Grand Slam of the four major open tournaments, the effects of the celebrations on their numbers could have been disastrous.</p> <p>'We've barely recovered from them winning the European Championship and the World Cup in quick succession,' complained Negrito, a male who has been chained upside-down from the roof of the church in a small village near Toledo for the past 17 years to symbolise the sufferings of Christ. 'This could have been the final straw.'</p> <p>According to unofficial estimates, on a night of ecstatic partying after Spain beat Holland 1-0 to claim its first World Cup last year, about 3,000 donkeys were thrown from church steeples or over cliffs, while 1,600 more were driven into the sea and sprayed with sulphuric acid. Others barely escaped alive after being driven through sewers by crossbows or having telegraph poles stitched into their backs.</p> <p>'You also have to factor in the trauma of the survivors,' added Marisol, a grey female who spends her life stapled to the wall of a primary school in Valencia with an archery target painted on her flank. 'Now every time they bring hay for me, I fear they are going to set fire to it and ram it down my throat to celebrate the local saint's martyrdom or something like that.'</p> <p>A few fortunate animals have been rescued by eccentric English Tory ex-pat ladies with a lot of time on their hands. Sadly, however, these donkeys feel little solidarity with their stricken colleagues.</p> <p>'It was David Ferrer, another Spaniard who beat Nadal, durr,' scoffed Chiquito, from the comfort of a sanctuary near Fuengirola. 'Just wait till the celebrations when Ferrer wins the final or Cesc Fabregas gets FIFA Footballer of the Year. I mean ee-aw, ee-aw, ee-aw to have a good chance. Sorry, couldn't resist that one. My ass hurts. Oh dear, somebody stop me...' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16478 Wed, 09 Jun 2010 08:47:26 +0000 riesler 16478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't you think he's a bit like Niles? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16428 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:01:51 +0000 rikkor 16428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick, your Boston wedding plans bring tears to my eyes. Traditional with a twist. I know just the church, Unitarian/Wiccan with a significant prison outreach program. It's called Most Holy Recidivist. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16312 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:36:46 +0000 QorbeQ 16312@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Words of the day - bulbous, girth and redender. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16307 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:18:35 +0000 andhrimnir 16307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"engorged member" **snigger** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16166 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:34:26 +0000 rickwestwell 16166@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's OK - we'll just have to have a third ceremony in Boston. </p> <p>Nothing fancy, just a quiet chapel blessing with me, my lovely wife, and your good self standing behind us waving a giant placard featuring a huge photo of your engorged member. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16164 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:29:22 +0000 rikkor 16164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tres, tres amusant (maybe?) Very much wish that I could be at your "do", not going to happen this time, though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16163 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:27:37 +0000 rickwestwell 16163@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was ramblesid's attack on Scroat, accusing him of something like "Rolling on your back while waving your arms and legs in the air" and waiting for a tummy tickle, or similar. It was so good I made a new "ROFL" out of it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16156 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:12:41 +0000 rikkor 16156@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick, don't know or can't remember what the ROMB...etc. thing is. L'ass de moi hurtez. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16144 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:47:41 +0000 rickwestwell 16144@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And of course, nice to see ROMBWWMAALINTAWWTHMTTAMIILGAPOTH back.<br /> Whatever happened to whatsisname? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16142 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:45:50 +0000 rickwestwell 16142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kudos for "Rikkor a un pain dans son ass; c'est une baguette" - wasn't me, promise. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16069 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:18:25 +0000 rikkor 16069@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Flounce! I almost feel that some of these tags are veiled references to me. Blah, blah, blah, blah be-de blah, blah, blah. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15945 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:15:53 +0000 Scroat 15945@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15938 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 06:45:19 +0000 Des Custard 15938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15796 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 14:17:10 +0000 rikkor 15796@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>is often seen in the tags. Like haiku and tweets, brevity is the soul of wit. (It also gives a person a chance to anonymously taunt someone.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12420 Thu, 13 May 2010 13:02:08 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 12420@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I try to rate things but, it depends on how good the stuff is and what I am doing. If I am logged on to post something, I'm far more likely to rate other people's stuff. But if I'm just looking, something has to be 4 or 5 star to make me log on especially to rate it or comment on it. And rating everything would mean that we'd all be on the site even longer than we are already.<br /> I suggested a while ago a simple Hit or Miss rating system. I still think that would work - especially if you could vote without logging in. You'd still want people to have to log in to make comments. Don't know if that's possible or desirable.<br /> It is disappointing to have your stuff ignored, but as far as I'm concerned that's preferable to having it adversely criticised. I'm only here for fun, not to delve into my weaknesses. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12407 Thu, 13 May 2010 12:23:18 +0000 Des Custard 12407@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There are some very thin skins around here Mighty, my own included, and it can be very discouraging when a carefully crafted and edited piece is received in silence. On the other hand, it makes it all the nicer when a positive comment is made, sometimes for something you thought was rubbish. </p> <p>There are a lot of subs being made, and people will only open the odd one, and will then only comment or vote on a small proportion of those. If it's good it will get noticed, and you've no worries on that front. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12391 Thu, 13 May 2010 11:08:35 +0000 Mary Evans 12391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I do think the new format has made me a bit lazier about reading subs, but the same rule still applies for me - if I'm not taken in by the headline, I probably won't bother reading what's within. And I frequently forget to vote - to think women threw themselves in front of horses for my sake.</p> <p>Oh, and some stuff is just shit. Not least my own. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12384 Thu, 13 May 2010 10:45:24 +0000 MightyBlair 12384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There definitely are posts that you don't look at, and I couldn't imagine reading all of them. I think I was in a grump and have perhaps overstated it. I think the problem that narced me was that generally speaking, either it is a four or a five, or it gets nothing. But, by the same token, we all post some stuff which is terrible upon reflection, so probably deserves nothing, and variations on a theme will always mean only the cream get rated. Onwards Ho! to ratings glory for all! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12362 Thu, 13 May 2010 08:52:56 +0000 edward hack 12362@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good point from Plucky...if all the subs are based around the same topic or event, then they gradually lose their impact/appeal/bite etc and it starts to become a chore. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12325 Thu, 13 May 2010 07:08:11 +0000 Zadok the second 12325@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's a scoring system? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12320 Thu, 13 May 2010 06:30:38 +0000 PluckyMunky 12320@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is a perenial topic, I fear. I agree that some recognition from fellow biscuit persons does help a lot. I guess a number of us do write very variably, though and a few of us write a pile of rubbish on some days. I'm not sure this matters. It is important to experiment a bit. A continuous list of 'only' political subs doesn't automatically make for amusing reading. </p> <p>I have noticed a certain series of cycles in the marking. On some days, almost nothing is scored. A day later and a rash of 5s appear. I don't know why that is. </p> <p>I agree that it is pointless to mark your own work. Perhaps we should all try a bit harder to read through other peoples' work, score and comment on it and get out of our own little bubble. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12317 Thu, 13 May 2010 06:07:33 +0000 QorbeQ 12317@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I am guilty of some hypocrisy myself to be honest. I posted a 'really great' sub vaguely on the subject of hospitals (which may not be that great, but which did take me an unspecified amount of time to write) which, as far as I know, noone even read, and got a little inwardly narked about my wasted efforts.</p> <p>But on the flip-side, I don't read every sub. And I certainly rarely comment when I give stars - I feel unqualified to give feedback to other, potentially professional, writers apart from the basic 'it made me laugh this much' rating that starrage provides.</p> <p>Oh what to do, what ... to ... do ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12312 Thu, 13 May 2010 05:29:46 +0000 edward hack 12312@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite agree<br /> A thumbs up from fellow biscuiteers is often reward enough for most of us. Just to let you know you are not wasting your time. If you put time and effort into a piece, being ignored can take the joy out of posting.<br /> Most of us are just foot soldiers who have no illusions about where we are in the scheme of things.<br /> I like to think we keep things ticking over until the top writers post the good bits.<br /> Having said that, maybe some of us should stop and think before posting. Some of it is pretty awful and wouldn't do the rounds in a school playground. We are all guilty of that.<br /> But encouragement where it is deserved would not do any harm.<br /> On the other hand, there is nothing worse than seeing a sub who's star rating has been clearly 'enhanced' by the poster.<br /> Behave. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4415#post-12311 Thu, 13 May 2010 01:20:14 +0000 MightyBlair 12311@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It is a point that has been hinted at in the recent past by Mr. Virtuallywill, but a point I feel that needs stressing. Let me point out that this is not a plea for five star ratings and for front pages; this is a plea for fair ratings and constructive criticism. I don't think I'm alone in this, but I tend to rate people freely and fairly, because I believe that some rating (with the exception of one star) is better than none. </p> <p>So when you spend a bit of your time, and a bit of taxpayers' or investors' money constructing something that you hope might make other giggle, it is a bit rubbush that no-one takes the time to read and give an opinion. It seems to happen quite a lot, and I've seen many posts go unrated when possibly a rating and an addition might help, or great posts in their own right that do demand recognition are passed over. </p> <p>With the exception of the fortunate few, we are all learning at different rates, and since the point of this site was, in it's origins, to avoid elitism, people should act with a little charity. Even if it's to say 'that is balls, mate', with an explanation why if you feel quite strongly! Quite possibly a passing thought that amounts to a distant 'moo', but a valid point I feel. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3679#post-11017 Wed, 05 May 2010 21:38:16 +0000 MADJEZ 11017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We are not Rikkor-bashing (that would make a good euphamism !) we are merely taking the piss out of a fellow biscuiter who has stuck his neck out for our amusement. </p>