http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=hilarious The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 00:35:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52883#post-152216 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 18:51:49 +0000 Gerontius 152216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A man seen walking along a sandy beach in an advert for Southern Comfort has asked men to stop staring at his cock and to concentrate instead on the product being advertised.<br /> Jose Enrique Moreno, insists he is a classically trained actor from the Cuarta Pared in Madrid and not some low-rent porn star viewers vaguely remember from their 1970s porn collection and has appeared alongside some of the biggest names in Spanish theatre.<br /> Moreno says he is disappointed in audience reaction to the advert and strongly objects to people in the UK simply salivating over his fantastic cock and asks them instead to look beyond the magnificent beast struggling manfully to stay inside the flimsy beachwear and try to appreciate the craft and subtlety that goes into the making of such high quality commercials.<br /> But men in the UK - who are only usually aroused by commercials for alcoholic drinks if they come in a can and are called Stella – have hit back saying they only had eyes for the licker in Moreno’s hand and hadn’t even noticed the handsome packet striding purposefully up the street or sidewalk or beach or wherever it was they hadn’t properly noticed.<br /> Despite the denials, Moreno says he has already received over 23,000 hits on his FaceBook page from men in the UK with many begging him to have sex with their wives or partners while they watched (the football on Sky Sports) from an adjoining room.<br /> But Moreno says despite his obvious credentials, he has no connection – nor has ever had any connection - with the Spanish porn industry and men in the UK should try and satisfy their own partners.<br /> Moreno urgued men in the UK to be more adventurous in their foreplay....’maybe a tub of ice-cream or melted chocolate, maybe a salami or even a fist of bananas....something suggestive, something erotic, sex doesn’t have to be a carpet burn on the knees....it can be a magic carpet ride taking you to the heavens.<br /> Men in the UK promised they would try Moreno’s exotic approach to sexual foreplay sometime in the near future but said quite honestly a couple of Wagon Wheels and a pork-pie had always worked well for them in the past....and usually lasted longer anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40146#post-114203 Mon, 19 Mar 2012 23:13:31 +0000 weematt 114203@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p>