http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=hereford The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 11:22:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=15729#post-42844 Sat, 13 Nov 2010 20:16:05 +0000 Oxbridge 42844@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kara-Louise Martindale, the last of the small group of women who caused a major scandal in Hereford in 2015 by refusing to turn their skin orange through the use of five layers of make-up has died at the age of 76, the local coroner has revealed. She was unmarried.</p> <p>Martindale was one of 12 young Herefordians to stand out against conventional notions of beauty in the 2010s. Ostracised by their peers and unable to leave the city after a new outer ring road was completed in 2019, none of the group ever had a relationship or children.</p> <p>'I don't wish to speak ill of the dead and Kara-Louise had a rather sad and difficult life,' said Hereford's Mayor-for-Life Darren Baines, 'but there's no getting away from the fact that she brought her problems on herself through her own stubbornness.'</p> <p>Ironically, Martindale's generation of young Herefordians were instrumental in one of the greatest upheavals in scientific belief of the early 21st century. Their make-up penetrated through their skin and mixed with their DNA, causing permanent genetic mutations and leading to a new genus in the hominid family, Puella Naranjensis Anglicana, that accounts for 88% of the modern population of Hereford. </p> <p>This process, historians say, led to all but the most fanatical of US evangelicals to acknowledge that evolution was an established fact and that Creationism was no longer a tenable creed. Many credit the discovery with the implosion of the once-feared Islamic terror group Al-Qaeda in the 2020s.</p> <p>'Kara-Louise inadvertentely saved millions of lives,' said a spokesman for the Dawkins Memorial Foundation. 'Having said that though, just look at those photos of her in 2015. All that untouched skin - you just wouldn't, would you?' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5542#post-15092 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:10:56 +0000 Mrblacker 15092@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A 15 year old from Hereford has stunned his peers by refusing to form a band in his parent's garage.</p> <p>Damien McNulty who plays the guitar, told friends he'd rather concentrate of his studies so he could have a shot at a place at Oxford in 3 years time.</p> <p>"I thought it might've been a bit of fun, but ultimately it would have distracted me." he told the Hereford Times. "I want to make money and sleep with at least one woman and while being in a band could have given me that opportunity, I thought taking a degree in nuclear physics might give me a more realistic shot as a bored researcher."</p> <p>"And if that fails, I'll get a job appearing on lame comedy panel shows."</p> <p>But friends say the teenager's blowing his best opportunity for getting his leg over.</p> <p>"He's a freak" Derek Lawlor told reporters. "I asked him 'cos he's a good guitarist and when he turned me down, I formed a group with 4 other mates and I've already managed to feel up Lucy Jackson."</p> <p>"She told me the only way Damien's going to get some action is with Jodie Cregg, and everyone knows she's a slag." </p>