http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=graham-norton The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 16:33:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34504#post-97419 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:20:38 +0000 Fray Brentos 97419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a drive to cut costs at the BBC, producers have been forced to pull Graham Norton off. Sorry, have been forced to pull Graham Norton off his prime-time Friday night slot.<br /> Beeb bosses announced the news today at the same time as announcing the identity of Norton’s replacement, a remote controlled plastic arse. The arse, measuring some 4 inches on height, moves around on wheels controlled by Giles Backboner, an operator backstage and will communicate by the use of a robotic voice which will be pre-programmed with questions and small-talk agreed between the show’s script writers and the guests’ PR representatives. For more dramatic moments, the arse will turn to the audience or spin around a bit to get laughs and make the interviewee blush.<br /> “We think that it’s time to push new boundaries and try something that has never been done before” said Mark Thompson at a half-empty press cabal yesterday. “We looked long and hard at our audience and the guests that are attracted to the show and realised that it really doesn’t matter who or what is hosting the show.<br /> In a statement released this morning, the BBC said “We are expecting the same calibre of stars to take part in the shows and for our audiences to enjoy them just as much. And a motorised talking shitbox won’t carry with it the same level of danger as a shouty, histrionic woofter like Norton. I’d like to see this anus automaton prance about on stage in a spangly f*cking suit jokes doing strings of cock jokes.<br /> “The arse will be completely under our editorial control. Of course, we expect it to become a celebrity icon and have already received invitations from the BAFTA awards, the next Live 8 concert and Celebrity Big Brother. People will go crazy for it. We have Max Clifford’s PR team working on a series of saucy exposés about the arse’s private life to keep the public interested and will be creating a series of toys which will be out in time for Christmas.<br /> ITV meanwhile, are refusing to comment on their plans to immediately replace the presenter of X-Factor’s Xtra-Factor, Konnie Huq, with a clockwork cunt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4189#post-11794 Mon, 10 May 2010 15:55:24 +0000 Oxbridge 11794@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Media analysts have commended BBC presenter Graham Norton for not demeaning himself with undignified attempts at humour while presenting ‘Over the Rainbow’, a show in which young hopefuls compete for the role of Dorothy in a West End production of The Wizard of Oz. However, the BBC has come in for criticism for putting the 46-year-old bachelor in a potentially embarrassing position.</p> <p>‘I understand that men who are a bit like that are known in some circles as ‘friends of Dorothy’ because of their apparently universal admiration for the late Judy Garland,’ thundered Daily Express television critic Ross Benson. </p> <p>‘One hears certain rumours about Norton’s private life and if they are true I don’t condone it, but what an appalling situation for him to be put in. How he manages not to use the term at every opportunity is beyond me. His iron self-control is an example to us all.’</p> <p>Norton, who is unmarried, is known for his flamboyant dress sense and sometimes arch witticisms. He has admitted that his close involvement in the sometimes emotionally charged serial has brought him into close friendships with some of the pretty teenage girls competing for a stab at stardom. </p> <p>However, there has never been a hint of scandalous behaviour on his part from the young contestants. Nor has Norton, who has never been romantically linked with any of his female colleagues, made any comments on air that might inflame the situation.</p> <p>‘You really would have hoped that those charged with our licence fees would have put a bit more thought into this,’ said Sir Gerald Bryant, Conservative MP for Shropshire North-West, who is calling on David Cameron to review BBC funding as soon as the new government is in place. </p> <p>‘I mean, suppose he really is a bit, ahem, you know, what are the BBC going to have him do next? Front a show to find the best Nancy for a production of Oliver?’ </p>