http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=gaffe The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 10:12:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50398#post-145307 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:59:37 +0000 pinxit 145307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After inadvertently wearing a live microphone in a BBC toilet, Chancellor George Osborne found himself at the centre of another embarrassing gaffe when his private phone conversation was leaked to the press. </p> <p>In the conversation, extracts of which are reproduced below, Mr Osborne appears to make a series of extremely disparaging scatological remarks about certain sections of society, casting grave doubts as to the sincerity of the government's oft repeated 'we are all in it' assertion; that drastic economic cutbacks would be applied fairly across the classes, with the rich bearing the heaviest burden of responsibility.</p> <p>The Chancellor had just finished a TV interview with Andrew Marr at Television Centre when he dashed off for the toilet break. Floor staff and aides had forgotten to relieve him of the live mini microphone before he went. It recorded the discussion between the Chancellor and a friend, referred to as 'Biffo'.</p> <p>Staff in the TV control room were only alerted when odd noises, followed by a ringing phone and then Mr Osborne's voice came through their earphones.</p> <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/osbog3.jpg"><br /> <em>Privy councillor: 'In it' up to his neck…</em></p> <p>Here are some highlights from Mr Osborne's three minute conversation:</p> <p>'Yo Biffo. No, it's ok, I'm just on a bombing run at Pravda Central…. yah, relieving myself of the lumpen proletariat' <em>(laughter) </em>… slopping gruel in Oliver's bowl.' <em>(laughter)</em>… 'squeezing out the middle <em>(inaudible)</em> now… and those aren't pips you hear squeaking.' <em>(laughter) </em></p> <p>He then appears to refer to recent events concerning the resignation of the government's Chief Whip and his interview with Marr:</p> <p>'Just had to dodge a bunker blast from Wingnut about old cycle-clips. Mitchell's been a complete arse blumpkin over this plod biz. Dave should have dropped him faster than a ticking camel-jockey and fed him to the hungry hippos. Instead, he let him dangle like a Klingon crapple for yonks while Brutus made the most of it, floating an almighty air biscuit at Party Conf, the red-arsed blonde baboon.'</p> <p>Alluding to last Friday's incident on a Virgin train, when travelling in a First Class carriage on a Second Class ticket, Mr Osborne is heard to say:</p> <p>'...Beardy's bolshie fat controller… the little s**t. As if I'd want suppurating oiks and proles breathing all over me.'</p> <p>The conversation then descends into further ribald public-schoolboy toilet humour:</p> <p>'Just stocking the lake with another brown trout… <em>(laughter)</em>… Christ on a bike, I don't remember eating that.' <em>(laughter) (Toilet flush)</em>. </p> <p>The conversation ends abruptly as frantic banging on the cubicle door and agitated muffled voices are heard.</p> <p>After reading the complete leaked transcript, a senior Labour spokesman commented, 'In an unguarded moment we see the true face of this government. Both cheeks. For once the Chancellor is right. He really is 'in it' now.'</p> <p>Aides for Mr Osborne last night said he was both 'mortified' and 'constipated'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46062#post-132514 Sat, 28 Jul 2012 08:23:54 +0000 Reg Herring 132514@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Embarrassed Olympic Games organisers were left even more red-faced than usual today as it emerged they have made yet another gaffe.</p> <p>Nigel Petty, President of the National Pedant League, said: “This was quite an easy one for our members and is seen as a schoolboy error on the part of the organisers. You see, the term ‘Great Britain’ refers to England, Scotland and Wales in combination but NOT Northern Ireland and yet qualifying competitors from Northern Ireland can be included in Team GB. To avoid confusion in future, we suggest changing the name to Team UK.”</p> <p>Mayor of London Boris Johnson said: “Mr Petty is quite right of course – this was an honest mistake anyone could have made and I have apologised to him. Now tell that nitpicking peasant oik to f**k off!”</p> <p>Further investigations reveal Mr Petty could be on to something here though; because of a lack of natural resources and investment, coupled with spiralling unemployment, housing and council tax benefits costs, David Cameron is believed by insiders to be thinking of handing Northern Ireland back to Ireland in the next few months to save money. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116539 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 06:00:46 +0000 weematt 116539@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Got to admit the published version is that bit smoother. Having toadied, I would like to thank all my readers and commenters who have seen me through a sometimes difficult start to my new career in spoof journalism. My greatest debt is to David Cameron and his team without whom all this would not have been possible. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116510 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 22:35:38 +0000 Textbook 116510@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just read this in the revised form that's on the front page as a NIB and I thought it was brilliant. Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116340 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 22:15:17 +0000 Perks 116340@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeo. Like this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116315 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 18:41:51 +0000 dvo4fun 116315@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice. up you go </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40891#post-116302 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 16:42:00 +0000 weematt 116302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following a long and difficult week Prime Minister Cameron has decreed that all ministerial announcements are checked for gaffes, and any escape is controlled quickly.</p> <p>Cabinet Minister Francis Maude is to head up a team of gaffe inspectors. Maude was selected using the 'takes one who has done one to know who is about to do one' principle. The Prime Minister believes Maude has the nose for the job. Whitehall is already referring to Maude's team as the Government Gaffe Tank, a droll allusion to the American way of saying petrol tank. Maude's team will be three strong at first but will be topped before it needs to be.</p> <p>Maude is charged with ensuring that no gaffe is released by the government or, if the gaffe gets out, it gets out in the most controlled silent manner possible and is only detected if the press gets a whiff of it. Other gaffe related strategies are believed to be under consideration. Sometimes it makes sense to release advance information about the gaffe to the media so that when the gaffe occurs the public is already bored with it. This is known as creating a gaffe leak but has the danger of explosive consequences if not properly controlled.</p> <p>Cameron does realise that not all gaffes come from Government ministers. Some gaffes occur spontaneously and this is known as a natural gaffe explosion. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116267 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 09:24:03 +0000 weematt 116267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry about the gaff gaffe. In time for a cover-up. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116256 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:30:37 +0000 Mandy Lifeboat 116256@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not just adequate but limitless me thinks - it is indeed gaffe </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116252 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:21:48 +0000 waylandsmithy 116252@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice! Like the ending! Is it 'gaffe' though? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40867#post-116250 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:19:16 +0000 weematt 116250@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In response to opposition questions about the alarming rate at which gaffe reserves are being used up Prime Minister Cameron sought to calm the situation. He pointed out that his front bench included a number of gaffe specialists like Osborne and Maude and he drew great comfort from that.<br /> Part the Prime Minister's reply.<br /> "There are always times in the life of any Parliament when the Gaffe Supply comes under pressure. It is a seasonal effect, with demand peaking around budget time and dwindling to almost nothing during the Parliamentary recess. We, with our coalition partners have shown we can produce gaffes at an unprecedented level. We haven't failed so far and we don't intend to run out of gaffes in future. We still have plenty in the tank so to speak."</p> <p>Insiders on the Government side believe that the situation is a lot worse than Cameron says. One minister in confidence said "If the nation does run out of gaffes, the Prime Minister may have to go to the Palace. Not to resign though, just to see if Philip has any gaffes to spare." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-10155 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 12:59:39 +0000 Des Custard 10155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No sympathy for Brown on this one at all. When you've finished a conference call on the speaker phone, the first thing you do is double check the connection has been cut; <em>then</em> you can say what you want. Raised eyebrows are always useful unless you're on video.</p> <p>It's Armando Iannucci I feel sorry for. This was straight out of The Thick of It and he got no royalties at all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-10085 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 06:24:01 +0000 Gary Stanton 10085@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I heard some right filth about Mariella Frostrup the other day..</p> <p>Sadly, it's not repeatable on a public forum.</p> <p>Now get on with your work </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9988 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 13:18:30 +0000 Oxbridge 9988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He might have done better to say: Well I regret that it was made public but yes, that's what I thought and here's why. The fake-smiley repentance was as toe-curling as the Daily Mail/Express coverage was vile. Horrible old racist trout. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9943 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 10:48:06 +0000 andhrimnir 9943@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ah, so I need to approach Sky with "have I got poos for you". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9913 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:33:58 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like to think so Sauce. Democracy is all very well, but when you think of some of the people it allows to vote.... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9910 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:28:01 +0000 sauce 9910@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>If it had been a BBC mic then their guidelines prohibit such off-air remarks from being publicised. But it was a Sky mic and once the story was out then the beeb had little choice but to cover it. Blair used to insist that he was only wired up with Labour mics.</blockquote><br /> Ah, that makes some sense, Lucy. Thanks.<br /> The whole personality cult thing is crazy. Or, at the least, better from a safe distance. Churchill wouldn't stand a chance these days.<br /> I'm increasingly bemused by the whole nonsense. I'd vote for policy over prattling at the moment. ('Prat' being the operative word.)<br /> Jeni, that might swing it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9907 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:23:15 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9907@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Can you spell your own name?"<br /> "How many fingers, on average, do each member of your family have?"<br /> "Do you think that Jordan makes a good role model for your children?"<br /> "In your opinion, should the British Government be elected via a phone-in vote?" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9906 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:16:43 +0000 Ludicity 9906@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So what should be the questions? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9904 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:06:54 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think that the continued Americanisation of British politics has led to people being more swayed by personality and soundbites than policy. Sadly, there is a distinct section of society who wouldn't know the difference between one party's manifesto and a hole in the wall, and these are the sort of people who's voting will have been decided by who wears the coolest suits etc.</p> <p>I wonder if the time has come for some kind of basic test to ensure the voter's have at least a basic grasp of the importance of their vote? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9903 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:02:20 +0000 Ludicity 9903@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If it had been a BBC mic then their guidelines prohibit such off-air remarks from being publicised. But it was a Sky mic and once the story was out then the beeb had little choice but to cover it. Blair used to insist that he was only wired up with Labour mics.</p> <p>The ethics of all this are highly questionable but the media (and, to some extent, the public) are more excited by gossip and gaffes than a considered analysis of the policies. Ah for the good old days when leaders were asked: 'So Prime Minister, is there anything you would like to say to us?' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9897 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:44:50 +0000 andhrimnir 9897@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I find it interesting that the beeb chose to leak this yet haven't commissioned my idea for a late night quiz show "Have I got poos for you" in which the panel have to guess which famous person is taking a bio break having forgotten they are mic'ed up. If the (un)sound engineers can play it at their christmas party why can't we all have a go?</p> <p>Incidentally, the idea came to me many years ago when I struck up conversation with Stuart Hall whilst we were stood at the urinals in Deansgate. He said "this water's cold" to which I replied "very deep too". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9885 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:23:42 +0000 Mary Evans 9885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmmm. Tricky one, ain't it. I think what bothered me more than the bigotry remark was the fact that GB was so outraged that someone allowed him to be confronted by a member of the public demanding an explanation as to why she should continue to vote for him. But I agree that the news coverage was so goulish that it almost made me feel sorry for him. Almost. </p> <p>And...er... if you and and MrChigley'sUncle could keep the discussion and execution of your bedroom antics down a bit, we at number 23 would be really grateful... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9881 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:03:49 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9881@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>She somewhat loses sympathy (and dignity) in the alacrity with which she signed up a PR Agency and obtained a deal with a newspaper. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9878 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:57:51 +0000 edward hack 9878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's what he says when he knows the mic is switched on that worries me.<br /> I think he is a truely passionate man in it for all the right reasons.<br /> He is a superb right hand man....he is not a leader.<br /> The job is too big for him.<br /> It is too big for all of them.<br /> The best we can hope out of all our combined failure (as a nation) is change. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9877 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:51:16 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 9877@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A tricky one. But if you were sitting in your garden and you overheard your neighbours, in the privacy of their own garden, plotting a bank raid, you'd be right to tell the police. But, if you overheard them discussing their perfectly legal, but extremely naughty, sexual preferences, you'd be right to keep it to yourself (whilst obviously thinking of ways in which you might get photos).<br /> So, it's probably down to how you feel about what he said.<br /> That doesn't help at all does it? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9874 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:48:22 +0000 allmyownstunts 9874@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We switched off the gloating, nasty news coverage last night. I thought we were being played. I'm sure all of them have a good old rant when they finally manage to flop into their cars and I'm amazed, and slightly impressed, that his language was so clean. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9866 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:36:56 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9866@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Isn't that what almost everyone apologises for? Very rarely an apology is for the actual misdemeanor. Tiger Woods is a prime example of apologising for getting caught. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9865 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:26:55 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 9865@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's been done to Ron Atkinson, Carol Thatcher and countless others. Why not Gordon? At least they weren't after your vote. It was fair game in the light of the Andrew Raunsley book serialised in the Observer following which No. 10 denied that GB had temper tantrums or kicked nuns in the shins. </p> <p>His apology was instant and does him credit. Until you realise he was really apologising for being caught out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3432#post-9861 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:20:00 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9861@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I personally agree with Mr Sauce. It is relatively easy to forget that you are wearing a mic, as several politicians around the world have found to their cost, and it was said in the privacy of his car.</p> <p>While the lady in question did raise some relevant points, it was made in a somewhat xenophobic manner, and GB is entitled to his own opinions.<br /> I agree with Scroat that this may actually <em>help</em> rather than hinder his campaign.</p> <p>There, that's my tuppence worth. </p>