http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=gabriel The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 23:45:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-122129 Thu, 10 May 2012 12:49:39 +0000 Thor 122129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I guess it’s a kind of ‘woo’s woo’ for Glastonbury. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-122107 Thu, 10 May 2012 12:35:24 +0000 bonjonelson 122107@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm sure that Dyson could corner the market for Vortex Healing if they put their mind to it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-122020 Thu, 10 May 2012 11:12:17 +0000 Yikes 122020@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>hmm, the "Venus Love Experience" sounds intriguing ... and on tommorow night too! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-122003 Thu, 10 May 2012 10:52:59 +0000 beau-jolly 122003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's the shite I was reading Thor. <a href="http://www.glastonburyoracle.co.uk/">Yay! They have a web site!</a><br /> All the woo you can eat! Take a look at the Body Mind and Spirit bit. Can we give a prize to the biscuiteer who finds the biggest pile of old bollocks such as Vortex healing*<br /> "Daisy Centres Angelic Healing Retreat &amp; Bed and Breakfast" Ahahahahaha! I just love the ...and B&amp;B. ahahahahahaha!</p> <p><a href="http://www.crispian.net/PTIR/Nonsense.html">This may need updating now!</a></p> <p>*VortexHealing® is the registered trade mark of Ric Weinman. Used here without permission. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-121921 Wed, 09 May 2012 21:45:02 +0000 Thor 121921@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A colleague brings the local magazine ‘the oracle’ to work for a laugh. One of the more amazing courses is to teach women to “reclaim” their menstrual cycle. Presumably it was stolen from outside the chip shop, despite being chained to the railings. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-121906 Wed, 09 May 2012 17:07:50 +0000 waylandsmithy 121906@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's quite a pretty place, but you get the impression that a single drop of reality could bring it crashing to its knees. The lazy bastards still haven't finished building that monastery, how long has that been a 'work in progress'?</p> <p>Although I believe it is a consumer of 85% of Tibet's annual industrial output. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-121888 Wed, 09 May 2012 13:19:04 +0000 beau-jolly 121888@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A lot of them have flipped the switch and there's no going back.<br /> I may go back though as I didn't bother to keep the literature and now I wished I had - just to rip it apart.<br /> There was an advert for a talk on a machine that was basically a linear motor. It said that it harnessed cosmic powers and thus emitted life forces to all around. Quite a big jump of logic that. The Docklands Light Railway into Canary Warf runs on a linear motor and I don't see much peace and love there or even on the line between Birmingham New Street and the NEC. F*cking hippies! Can't explain it, too stoned to read the science, so must worship it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-121884 Wed, 09 May 2012 12:58:00 +0000 Midfield Diamond 121884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>True story of a mother trying to register her daughter for school near Glastonbury - names changed only slightly to protect the innocent:</p> <p>Admin Person: OK, can I take the child's name please<br /> Mother: She's called Aqua, spelt A-Q-U-A<br /> AP: And the surname please<br /> M: Two Waters, but with the figure 2, not the word<br /> AP: So her full name is Aqua 2 Waters?<br /> M: Yes, that's right<br /> AP: And can I take your name please?<br /> M: Yes, I am called Medousa Warmonger<br /> AP: OK. And is that Miss, Mrs or Ms?<br /> M: None of them, can you just put 'The' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42644#post-121873 Wed, 09 May 2012 11:56:59 +0000 beau-jolly 121873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I had a day off yesterday and, on a whim, drove down to Glastonbury. How can an entire local economy be based on woo? Much like the alcoholics in Blackpool, the town's population is made up of people who were too off their tits to catch the last bus home after the festival.<br /> While eating my falafel and humus salad I browsed through the "what's on" guide; At least a dozen charlatans plying their delusions every night of the week.<br /> On its own at the end: How to make shit loads of money without actually doing anything classes. (I think it was called "accumulation therapy") I may sign up to that one but I suspect the answer is to invent a woo like "womb whistling" and sell it to gullible trustifarians in Glastonbury. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1241#post-3240 Sat, 20 Mar 2010 15:42:51 +0000 rfreed 3240@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A major uproar has occurred in the normally peaceful and idyllic universal subdivision of Heaven, home to famous celebrities such as Jehovah, Thor, Osiris, Allah, Zeus, Ahura Mazda, God and their flunkies Buddha, Zarathustra, Moses, Mithra and, of course, Jesus. Angels assigned to the three major Western religions have gone on strike, claiming that the so-called 'religious' humans they oversee are no longer worthy of their help. The angels are upset at the endless violence that seems to be amplifying between the Christian, Muslim and Jewish parts of the world.<br /> “It is unfortunate that it has come to this, but I understand their feelings.” stated St. Peter, keeper of the Christian Pearly Gates to Heaven, subsection Catholic entrance. “They don't see why they should be wasting time on people who are only interested in killing each other.”<br /> Mohammed Attik, guardian of the Muslim Gate, Sunni division entrance, stated “They got tired of all these guys who were suicide bombers who they pick up after dieing and the first thing they ask the angels is 'Where are my 72 virgins?' The whole spiritual aspect of religion has been lost.”<br /> Gabriel, Chief Christian angel and the union rep for the Society Of Angelic Servers Union spoke for all when he said that “There has been too much of a return to the old 'eye for an eye' mentality from the Old Testament. The whole emphasis of religion has shifted from God serving to self serving. Self serving is the anti-thesis of all that the angels work for.”<br /> Using the 'blue flu' type of striking tactics in which they do not show up for work, the angels have been having to deal with the lack of activity that a strike brings. Used to being busy, the angels are filling their time with bowling, reading classical novels and flying kites. A few have lapsed into card playing, but they have been duly reprimanded by their superiors.<br /> When informed of the matter, Zeus, speaking for all the gods currently presiding over Heaven, said that “They had better get back on duty within 24 hours other wise we're going to bring in scabs to do the work. We can't be wasting valuable time.” The angels did not respond to this, largely due to their sworn ethic not to say anything negative or commit violent acts. It looks to be a very boring and unnewsworthy strike. </p>