http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=fwoar The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 00:42:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7464#post-20138 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:23:38 +0000 Oxbridge 20138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cor! She can penetrate the inner circle of my, er, um, government ... any time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7464#post-20137 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:19:43 +0000 jp1885 20137@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following the publication of Russian spy Anna Chapman's social networking photos, British and American intelligence agencies have been forced to admit that the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR) is ahead of the game when it comes to the attractiveness of their operatives.</p> <p>'Regardless of how inept the SVR's spy ring in America was, you have to concede that Chapman is quite a looker,' admitted MI5 spokesman Major Robert Stanton. 'Who's the lucky chap that got to do a 'brush past' with her eh? That's one deep cover I wouldn't have minded getting involved in, if you know what I mean.'</p> <p>According to Stanton, Chapman's photos and the video footage which shows her discussing venture capitalism whilst wearing a revealing low-cut blouse, has exploded the myth of the sinister Slavic man-woman agent. 'The Russians have gone a long way since the Rosa Klebb days, though hopefully stunners like Chapman are still trained to strangle people with their thighs - Jesus... imagine that...'</p> <p>'Kudos to Putin for finally getting some proper talent into the SVR and putting the 'cor' into international corporate espionage,' continued Chapman, who, it has been revelaed, is currently moonlighting as a script consultant for the remake of the movie Carry on Spying. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1956#post-5784 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:54:39 +0000 Mrblacker 5784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The time-travelling do-gooder known as the Doctor has revealed a simple mistake in his regular stationery order has led to him being temporarily grounded.</p> <p>His machine, The Tardis, cannot move from its current location on Cardiff's Roahl Dahl Plas until his local Rymans receives a delivery of typewriter ribbons.</p> <p>"It's all rather embarrassing really" the stranded unqualified medic told reporters. "I thought I ordered the correct inked ribbon for the Olympic typewriter that powers the destination module, but I accidentally transposed the part numbers and ended up with 24 gross of spacebars. And until I can get a fresh supply of ribbons I'm stuck here."</p> <p>The Doctor's companion, Amy Pond, confirmed the story and said things have been getting a little fraught in the time machine.</p> <p>"It's all very well for the Doctor to keep saying sorry for his mistake, but the simple truth is that I have to eat and the only way I can do that is to resume my previous career as a kissogram girl. And while business is good, the travelling to Hereford on a regular basis is severely denting my bank account."</p> <p>A spopkesman for Rymans said that they are trying to do everything in their power to get the ribbons, but because the model is obsolete and parts hard to come by, it will be at least a series before the Tardis can leave Earth. </p>