http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=fp The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 22:51:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153727 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 19:14:33 +0000 AReader 153727@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Unfortunately, a woman sees the climactic moment rather differently. The image that’s lodged firmly in her mind, and refuses to go away, is of a lorry shedding its load”</blockquote></p> <p>This was the line that made me laugh out loud. The humour "money shot" if you will... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153721 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 18:44:10 +0000 Ironduke 153721@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>great FP.<br /> Followed Ianslat's link for the Welsh fan who really put his balls on the line. Some sort of Darwin Honourable Mention? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153711 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:46:19 +0000 Gerontius 153711@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's dedication to the cause.<br /> I do hope they were oval and not round....just for his sake.<br /> Was he on horse tranquillisers? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153708 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:13:46 +0000 The All New Jeni B 153708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is my favourite line from that story...<blockquote>A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking.</p> <p></blockquote> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153705 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:05:16 +0000 sigmund 153705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Ian, I notice on the same page a feature about ‘the 50 sexiest women in Wales.’ After looking at some of the photos, I also feel like removing my own gonads. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153703 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 16:34:10 +0000 ianslat 153703@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could be this guy, having another go (although Wales haven't beaten anyone at rugby for a while):<br /> <a href="http://www.walesonline.co.uk/rugbynation/rugby-news/tm_objectid=15165945&amp;method=full&amp;siteid=50082&amp;headline=welsh-rugby-fan-cuts-off-own-testicles-name_page.html">Self Dissection</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153678 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:16:19 +0000 Tripod 153678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's my todger in the pic, post dissection. Last night, after a few beers, it seemed like a price worth paying for the FP. Not so sure now... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153675 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:59:48 +0000 Gerontius 153675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good to see your Penis made the Front Page Tripod<br /> Excellent stuff.<br /> But who had a hand in chosing the photo?<br /> A nation's eyes are still watering.<br /> Wasn't Iron Mike by any chance? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153674 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:55:21 +0000 Tripod 153674@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Nice FP, but shouldn't it have rather been a 'news in brief'? </blockquote></p> <p>Nah... and I had a hand shandy to celebrate... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153670 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:10:43 +0000 Tess Goes 153670@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sounds like The Big Bang Theory, Dusty.<br /> God will be pleased that you're thinking outside the box. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153666 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 09:51:54 +0000 DustyBinLaden 153666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely job. I'm treating my penis to a night out in town to celebrate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153664 Sun, 16 Dec 2012 09:22:14 +0000 Idiot 153664@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice FP, but shouldn't it have rather been a 'news in brief'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153470 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 21:12:38 +0000 Yikes 153470@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very very good! 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153468 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 20:09:48 +0000 Squudge 153468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>here is a little bit of topiary for your garden</p> <p><img src="http://assets3.pinimg.com/upload/87116574013785586_IOVCvbJF.jpg"></p> <p>...if you get a FP, maybe this would be a pic that gets through the censors </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153467 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 19:47:56 +0000 Tripod 153467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Tell me more. </blockquote></p> <p>Nothing much to add. It's cold, OK? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153438 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:03:53 +0000 Squudge 153438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>&lt;Critic mode&gt;</p> <p>One simply questions the criteria of the 'design' excellence. These awards are often somewhat incestuous.</p> <p>&lt;Squudge mode&gt;</p> <p>Really? Tell me more. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153435 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:58:19 +0000 Tripod 153435@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Although I confess I myself have never owned one, a significant proportion of the penises I have encountered have been more 'fun' than 'functional', and as for the aesthetics of the thing...</blockquote></p> <p>More fun than functional? So what's the beef?</p> <p>I'm far too modest to point out that my todger is a little beauty... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153433 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:48:08 +0000 malgor 153433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>...his mind “was on other things” when he created the scrotum, and that, given his time over again, he would have put the testicles inside the body, out of harm's way.</blockquote></p> <p><a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/01/10/external-testicles-proves-unintelligent-design/"><strong>previously explored here</strong></a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153428 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:30:46 +0000 Squudge 153428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Response from a Critic:</p> <p>Frankly God should be a little embarrassed to accept the award.</p> <p>Although I confess I myself have never owned one, a significant proportion of the penises I have encountered have been more 'fun' than 'functional', and as for the aesthetics of the thing...</p> <p>Well really, when did you last see one that you would be happy to point out to your parents/colleagues/children and cry "look at that one, what a beauty!" ...no?</p> <p>I rest my case. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153419 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 16:25:44 +0000 Tripod 153419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Well, that explains your name</blockquote></p> <p>Me? Hung like a seahorse... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153381 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:32:15 +0000 medici2471 153381@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, that explains your name ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153379 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:24:05 +0000 Sheepback 153379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153377 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:19:58 +0000 Dick Everyman 153377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>God! Standing ovation old chap! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153374 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:14:40 +0000 Tripod 153374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The penis has won the highest accolade at the annual British Design Awards. Simon Cardwell, president of the Design Council, said “It’s time to recognise the penis as a design classic that’s never gone out of style”. </p> <p>Before presenting the award to God, who still owns copyright over everything he created during the busiest week of his life, Mr Cardwell read from the citation. “The penis is a multi-purpose organ of great charm and sophistication, whether you want to take a leak, have recreational, no-strings sex or opt for the ‘big one’: reproduction. It’s pointed, when tumescent, for easy ingress into vagina, mouth or anus, but not so sharply pointed that it might make the recipient’s eyes water. At rest, the penis is soft, malleable and unobtrusive... though all it takes to prepare it for action is a glimpse of a lingerie advertisement in <em>Cosmopolitan</em>. That’s quality design, the judges felt. As plaything, waste disposal conduit and semen-delivery system, the penis is unequalled”. </p> <p>God accepted the award with customary grace. He agreed that designing the penis was “one of the best things I ever did”, while admitting his mind “was on other things” when he created the scrotum, and that, given his time over again, he would have put the testicles <em>inside</em> the body, out of harm's way. After a standing ovation from the packed audience, God said he had initially been worried about giving the penis “a mind of its own”, and that this had caused a few problems over the years. Indeed, he was still ambivalent about anal sex, suggesting the practice was like driving the wrong way up a one-way street. "But what do <em>I</em> know?", he shrugged. However, God had no issues with masturbation. "There's a reason", he winked, "why your arms are the length they are".</p> <p>“Opinions about the organ’s aesthetic qualities depend on whether you own one or not”, God said. “During sex a man thinks of his penis as a heat-seeking missile, armed with a thermo-nuclear warhead, that explodes in a shower of stars. Unfortunately, a woman sees the climactic moment rather differently. The image that’s lodged firmly in her mind, and refuses to go away, is of a lorry shedding its load”. </p> <p>As he posed for the photographers, while kissing the award, God reminded the audience that the penis was just one of his many designs. “In terms of genitalia”, he concluded, “it's women who probably have the edge. To be honest, if I had a vagina, a decent pair of tits and the ability to have multiple orgasms, I’d never leave the house”... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149953 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:30:01 +0000 antharrison 149953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Went from 5th to 6th - so don't vote for yourself </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149952 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:28:46 +0000 antharrison 149952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm giving myself 5 stars to see if I move upwards from a poor 5th place. Just a test on the scoring algorithm rather than a boast. Cheers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149821 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 11:22:13 +0000 Screenie 149821@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149293 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:50:01 +0000 dvo4fun 149293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Currently assessing bids. An 'Archer' might win it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149291 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:47:01 +0000 Yikes 149291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes congrats on the FP, enjoyed it.</p> <p>What will be the FP tommorow dvo?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149289 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:42:26 +0000 dvo4fun 149289@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Terrific FP Ant </p>