http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=flooding The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 03:20:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42225#post-120653 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:10:07 +0000 writinginbsl 120653@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42225#post-120635 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:32:09 +0000 UnfitMother 120635@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A man from Stevenage has been commissioned by God to build a new ark.</p> <p>Stanley Moses, 48, says, "I was drying out my socks after a trip to the Co-op when God suddenly appeared before me. He told me I needed to start building an ark and taking animals in two by two as the rain isn't going to stop until 2016. I said I'm not very handy and I wouldn't know how to start building an ark, so he suggested I get down to Homebase, as their staff are very knowledgeable about wood and suchlike. He reminded me I'd need to weatherproof it too, perhaps with a product such as Ronseal."</p> <p>At Prime Minister's Questions today, David Cameron dismissed God's latest move and vowed to continue with the hosepipe ban in the south of England. "Despite the incessant rain, and forecast of flooding for the next 4 years, it's imperative that the hosepipe ban continues," he stated. "We have a hosepipe ban every British summertime and I'm damned if I'll be the first British Prime Minister to backtrack on that."</p> <p>London Zoo were unavailable for comment today on the story that a small percentage of animals have recently started disappearing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4650#post-13033 Tue, 18 May 2010 08:36:04 +0000 muhniepie 13033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicki Marper has suffered from hyper urinaria absurdum, a rare genetic condition also known as ‘Noah’s Ark Syndrome’ since birth. She is believed to be one of only 200 people in the world with the condition.</p> <p>It is a little known and extreme condition that affects the part of the brain called ‘Irédale’s Casket’ which regulates fluid reabsorption and expulsion. It is characterised by chronic onsets in which dangerous levels of urine are released in huge bursts or ‘waves’. The condition is often deadly as a sufferer can fatally dehydrate in a matter of minutes.</p> <p>Nicki’s condition has caused her to come close to death from dehydration on a number of occasions, as well as causing considerable flood damage to her home.</p> <p>“I have to carry large amounts of drinking water with me at all times incase a wave is released.” Nicki said. </p> <p>“The worst time it happened was on a bus. I ended up being sued by a non-swimmer sat in front of me who was washed down the bus and hit his head. The bus company even charged me for water damage to the bus. It was so upsetting”.</p> <p>Foreign Secretary William Hague is the highest profile sufferer of the condition. In 1989 as a newly elected Member of Parliament his seat in the House of Commons was hit by a particularly brutal onset. The wave cost the tax payer £5,600 in flood damage to the famous green seats as well as fusing some of the electrics below the chamber causing the tragic death of beloved House of Commons caretaker Thomas Rhythm.</p> <p>White House security was on alert this week preparing with mops and scuba equipment for Mr Hague’s first official visit as Foreign Secretary to the USA. He met with US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton who said she was “relived” that the meeting remained dry because “she isn’t really a strong swimmer”. </p>