http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=flaccid The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 08:14:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19445#post-52449 Tue, 04 Jan 2011 14:30:06 +0000 Gary Stanton 52449@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Much appreciated. Ta. </p> <p>I'd be happy enough for "cumshot" to be replaced by "ejaculation" but, wait for it..wait for it.. it might lose some of its impact. </p> <p>Then there's the whole issue of whether you hyphenate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19445#post-52382 Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:38:10 +0000 Gerontius 52382@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very rude, very funny.<br /> I am leaving the house with a very wide smile and will be chuckling all day.<br /> '5***** all day long' as they say on MOTD<br /> Upholds our fine saucey-postcard traditions. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19445#post-52375 Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:19:57 +0000 Gary Stanton 52375@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cult TV show Location Location Location is to break new ground in property-based broadcasting by featuring a minimum of three fully fledged hard-ons and a semi in each episode . </p> <p>Producers and commentators alike believe the change in format will bring renewed vigour to a flagging housing market with the spiced up version, dubbed “Location Second Viewing” , going out after the watershed. Though no actual nudity will be shown, tight-fitting clothing will leave viewers in no doubt as to the state of arousal produced in prospective buyers by the various properties on offer. </p> <p>Presenter, Phil Spencer, was quick to welcome the move:</p> <p>“This will give us more freedom as broadcasters. I remember showing off a Georgian mansion to a chap in his late thirties way back in series three. There was already a fair bit of slack in it as I took him up the driveway and by the time I got around to showing him period features such as cornices he was fully tumescent. Despite a successful sale, the whole episode had to be canned. “</p> <p>“So often viewers at home are left in the dark as to a couple’s true impression of a house or flat. But if there’s one area of the body that never lies it’s the genital region. By featuring lingering shots of the crotch area as we pass from room to room viewers can gauge exactly what they think of it before I turn them flaccid with my idiosyncratic mispronunciation of the word “vendor”. </p> <p>However, consumer groups believe the move represents an increased sexualisation of the show which began around series four when Spencer began referring to co-host Kirsty Allsop as ‘Kirsters’ and the pair were seen regularly holding hands prompting rumours that value of a three-bed semi in Winchester wasn’t the only thing that was going up fast .</p> <p>And taking a cue from its rival, a revamped version of A Place in The Sun in which buyers look for enchanting second homes abroad is set to push the boundaries even further later this year, when a villa with a balcony overlooking the Med will inspire the world’s first property-induced cumshot in a 55 year-old man from Dorking. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16478 Wed, 09 Jun 2010 08:47:26 +0000 riesler 16478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't you think he's a bit like Niles? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16428 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:01:51 +0000 rikkor 16428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick, your Boston wedding plans bring tears to my eyes. Traditional with a twist. I know just the church, Unitarian/Wiccan with a significant prison outreach program. It's called Most Holy Recidivist. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16312 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:36:46 +0000 QorbeQ 16312@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Words of the day - bulbous, girth and redender. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16307 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:18:35 +0000 andhrimnir 16307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"engorged member" **snigger** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16166 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:34:26 +0000 rickwestwell 16166@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's OK - we'll just have to have a third ceremony in Boston. </p> <p>Nothing fancy, just a quiet chapel blessing with me, my lovely wife, and your good self standing behind us waving a giant placard featuring a huge photo of your engorged member. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16164 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:29:22 +0000 rikkor 16164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tres, tres amusant (maybe?) Very much wish that I could be at your "do", not going to happen this time, though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16163 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:27:37 +0000 rickwestwell 16163@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was ramblesid's attack on Scroat, accusing him of something like "Rolling on your back while waving your arms and legs in the air" and waiting for a tummy tickle, or similar. It was so good I made a new "ROFL" out of it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16156 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:12:41 +0000 rikkor 16156@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick, don't know or can't remember what the ROMB...etc. thing is. L'ass de moi hurtez. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16144 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:47:41 +0000 rickwestwell 16144@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And of course, nice to see ROMBWWMAALINTAWWTHMTTAMIILGAPOTH back.<br /> Whatever happened to whatsisname? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16142 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:45:50 +0000 rickwestwell 16142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kudos for "Rikkor a un pain dans son ass; c'est une baguette" - wasn't me, promise. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-16069 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:18:25 +0000 rikkor 16069@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Flounce! I almost feel that some of these tags are veiled references to me. Blah, blah, blah, blah be-de blah, blah, blah. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15945 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:15:53 +0000 Scroat 15945@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15938 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 06:45:19 +0000 Des Custard 15938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5766#post-15796 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 14:17:10 +0000 rikkor 15796@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>is often seen in the tags. Like haiku and tweets, brevity is the soul of wit. (It also gives a person a chance to anonymously taunt someone.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5679#post-15513 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:41:06 +0000 Doctor Moptop 15513@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You were Dean of VICE?</p> <p>That explains it then. There's usually a logical explanation in this sort of thing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5679#post-15472 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:40:59 +0000 PluckyMunky 15472@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, it remains an awful fact that, even after being a Vice Dean in a university *snort*, for ten years, I am hopeless at spelling. I suppose the postmodern thing to do is claim to be dyslexic.</p> <p>I don't have the details of whether or not the man's cock was deleted, Mr Cariot, but this sub was, this morning (yawn). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5679#post-15471 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:37:06 +0000 andhrimnir 15471@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>it's probably a spelling thing. The correct spelling is "puerile" and two c's in "flaccid". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5679#post-15469 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:37:03 +0000 Iscariot 15469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What? His cock was deleted? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5679#post-15463 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:26:55 +0000 PluckyMunky 15463@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'We just don't need this schoolboy, peurile, filth', says Merton solicitor, Brian Kane, a tall man with a very long but flacid cock. </p> <p>(It may be clearer, now, why it was deleted). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2998 Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:45:18 +0000 theumpire 2998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Madjez,</p> <p>Seeing that this took place in Aberdeen, it was probably about 36 inches long -</p> <p> (Scotland Yard) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2805 Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:33:15 +0000 Jammydodgers 2805@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An informed source divulged that after the attempetd assault, he tucked it back into his sock before proceeding to chase the WPC down the street. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2691 Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:11:13 +0000 edward hack 2691@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I believe she was on her knees when the attack took place </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2682 Wed, 17 Mar 2010 08:22:59 +0000 allmyownstunts 2682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Truncheon. Luncheon.</p> <p>In honour of St Patrick's day, I feel the onset of a limerick. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2657 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:00:28 +0000 The All New Jeni B 2657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Damn, should have asked the WPC to compare it to her baton. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1031#post-2612 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:03:14 +0000 MADJEZ 2612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A real tea-snorter.</p> <p><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east/8570398.stm">BBC Newspenis</a></p> <p>At the risk of feeling inadequate, exactly how BIG was his penis (obviously if he was that drunk it was somewhat flaccid). </p>