http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=fish-and-chips The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 07:03:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34659 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:08:22 +0000 IABP 34659@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I thought you got what's in the slops bin anyway? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34657 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:05:03 +0000 Phlegm 34657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>69 - meal for 2 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34655 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 14:43:04 +0000 saltire 34655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>1x No25<br /> 2x No32<br /> 1x No18<br /> 20xNo6 [sorry we don't sell cigarettes]</p> <p>1x5jp </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34648 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 14:25:11 +0000 Oxbridge 34648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hee hee. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34641 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 14:06:04 +0000 jp1885 34641@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Looks like someone's hungry enough to eat up all the stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34635 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:42:48 +0000 riesler 34635@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>hungry now... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34632 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:41:24 +0000 jp1885 34632@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That would be cheating! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34631 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:39:31 +0000 riesler 34631@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>why not spell them phonetically. Make mine a cheeznunyan samwij. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12741#post-34630 Wed, 22 Sep 2010 13:35:36 +0000 jp1885 34630@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gourmets across Britain are downing their cutlery in protest today, after the passing of controversial new legislation banning all restaurants from selling a particular dish unless the customer can properly pronounce the name of said meal.</p> <p>Designed to encourage the use of local food suppliers, the Culinary Language Standards Act requires that restaurant staff 'ascertain the linguistic competency of their patrons' when taking an order, only agreeing to produce what the customer desires if it is deemed, 'after taking into account regional dialects,' to have been pronounced correctly.</p> <p>Billed as the government's attempt to improve the general public's grasp of foreign languages, whilst simultaneously encouraging greater interaction with the migrant workforce, many critics see the legislation as positive prejudice towards traditional British culture at the expense of other ethnic groups. 'We're losing money hand over fist,' complained Iqbal Quadir, head of the Birmingham Restaurateurs Association. 'Only the other day I had to throw out a customer before he even got to his starter - you try ordering poppadoms when you've got a stutter...'</p> <p>Nattawut Prasobsuk, proprietor of the Bangkok Palace, Leatherhead, echoed this sentiment: 'We offer an exquisite fusion menu inspired by the most exotic dishes of the far east, but it's no use preparing a dozen batches of sauce for our Gaeng Kiew Wan when none of our customers has even the slightest smattering of Thai - in fact most of the people around here can barely say 'half rice, half chips' once they've had a few Singhas on board.'</p> <p>Many businesses are however actively benefitting from the new law, with fish and chip shops reported to be doing a roaring trade. 'This is brilliant news,' exclaimed Barry Prentice of the Leeds Fish Fryers Guild, 'fish, chips, pie - great British monosyllabic food is back on the menu!'</p> <p>Educational bodies are also making the most of the legislation, with evening classes in conversational French, Italian and Greek seeing a tenfold increase in students, while certain canny entrepreneurs are offering courses in Mandarin, Turkish and Bengali for frustrated diners, with special rates for those attending after closing time.</p> <p>For Downing Street this is proof enough of the efficacy of the Culinary Language Standards Act: 'On one hand the market for home-grown produce has been stimulated beyond imagination, while on the other hand the British public are becoming more multilingual than any previous generation in recorded history,' boasted a government spokesman. 'Gone are the days when you would just poke at a list and say 'number 38 please', which is quite ironic really, considering that's how we selected this particular white paper in the first place.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3820#post-10944 Wed, 05 May 2010 14:27:15 +0000 Duff 10944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jim Fletcher from Grimsby got more than he bargained for when he used his new sat nav unit for the first time. For instead of being taken to his local chippy in the high street to get tea for him and his wife, Doris, the hapless hairdresser ended up in Quebec Canada.</p> <p>He told us. "Doris bought the unit for me for my birthday so I thought I'd give it a go and see if it got me to the chippy round the corner by the quickest route. It's only about mile and a half from our house but I realised that something was amiss when I spotted a sign that said <em>Welcome to Manchester.</em></p> <p>It did seem to me that 90 minutes on the road was rather excessive to go round the corner, but that wasn't the half of it! Next thing it says to me "<em>Proceed to the airport and then buy a business class ticket to Quebec"</em>, so of course I did. I know it sounds a bit silly now, but I mean they're meant to be always right aren't they?</p> <p>Anyway, cutting a long story short, in the end I ended up in Quebec. Doris wasn't too best pleased when I called her and told her what had happened. She had to have a tin of baked beans on toast as she was starving by then and we hadn't got anything else in. What a palaver!"</p> <p>When asked if he didn't think that perhaps something was wrong with the sat nav, Jim replied. "Not really, as it was a brand new unit I knew that it couldn't possibly be faulty"</p> <p>Jim's now counting the cost of his trip to the chippy as it's set him back a cool £2500. "I think I'll leave the sat nav at home next time" he quipped. </p>