http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=fart The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 19:18:01 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57378#post-166342 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 22:19:49 +0000 Bob 166342@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You're right, the 'human' reference was lazy really. Doesn't look like this sub is going down too well, but otherwise I would edit the title to 'Jobseeker methane' then could say the employees were from the government's back-to-work scheme being forced by the manufacturers as a 'rite of passage' and 'everyone has to start at the bottom' etc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57378#post-166318 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 19:20:10 +0000 Squudge 166318@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>how about 'jobseeker methane'?</p> <p>You could make the government complicit in this. I had the shelf-stacking for dole thing in mind.</p> <p>Even if you leave it as is, the sub is shaping up nicely. Good punchline too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57378#post-166294 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:08:47 +0000 Bob 166294@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>[A re-write of a previous sub - possibly not the right subject matter for NB, but hey ho]...</p> <p>It has come to light that the manufacturers of low-cost packets of ham have been using human-derived methane as a means of preserving the meat for longer periods. Employees are reported to have been paid overtime to make their contributions to the ‘modified atmosphere’ within the packets of ham. </p> <p>The accusation aimed at the manufacturers is that whilst they aren’t able to add any more preservatives to the meat without it losing its classification as meat entirely, the methane-rich gas produced by some humans could add a further 1 month to the product’s shelf life.</p> <p>Food Science experts have acknowledged that human flatus could be an ideal food preservative if the 'host' was fed the correct diet. This matches reports of staff members being fed a diet high in Greggs and Red Bull. This particular food concoction is thought to be ideal for the manufacturers' needs, but one that has left many staff members simultaneously lethargic and hyperactive all the time.</p> <p>Formal composition tests have yet to be reported, but experts are in agreement that the smell of the invisible gas released from the packets of ham is ‘strangely familiar’. </p> <p>One manufacturer at the centre of the controversy, Wheatly Hogg Ltd, released a non-committal statement, simply confirming that the allegations were nothing more than ‘posturing’ and ‘hot air’. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24205#post-65765 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:14:02 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 65765@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://theagepage.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83443d1b053ef01348014ffef970c-800wi"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24205#post-65760 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:05:55 +0000 rikkor 65760@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pour Bean-o on the keyboard. That should fix it. (Only vaguely funny, even if you have Bean-o in England.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24205#post-65756 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:44:00 +0000 OldThingy 65756@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>must be that spam </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-285 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:29:12 +0000 The All New Jeni B 285@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's just a pity that everything else gets weaker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-284 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:22:28 +0000 malgor 284@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'The older you get, the stronger the wind gets.' (Picasso) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-283 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:10:58 +0000 sauce 283@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you can feel the wind in your hair, be even more nervous. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-281 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:39:23 +0000 The All New Jeni B 281@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As Mr B insists that this is a sign of affection, I will be even more nervous now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-259 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:56:36 +0000 rikkor 259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some of us call that a "dutch oven" in the US. To do it correctly, you have to pull the covers over the head of the victim. Much like that fellow who offed his AIDS-y boyfriend. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-241 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:03:27 +0000 The All New Jeni B 241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aw, bless. Mr B, however, is the wind beneath my duvet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-238 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:59:50 +0000 rikkor 238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have made it to the blue box. You are all the wind beneath my wings. </p>