http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=facebook The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 07:47:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178512 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:56:54 +0000 brianflan 178512@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>what story? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178511 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:56:20 +0000 Wrenfoe 178511@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>P.S. I still really like this story </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178505 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:53:40 +0000 brianflan 178505@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A molehill is a mountain to an ant - the bloke from Kung Fu </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178503 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:46:44 +0000 waylandsmithy 178503@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Al, Brian:</p> <p>I realise a lot of people don't read other sites to see if something has been done before, including the editors of this site, by their own admission.</p> <p>I do like to check when I'm writing, though. And when I checked in here, I noticed this sub and thought. 'I've seen that before'.</p> <p>So I put a link to it, and said 'been done'. That was it. As no-one else is checking, I thought I'd let you know.</p> <p>Christ, why does every molehill have to become a fucking mountain? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178500 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:35:25 +0000 Al OPecia 178500@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another drive-by posting incident from Wayland. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178495 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:18:41 +0000 brianflan 178495@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I am going to take a diginified silence on this one although now I've said that have I kept silent? I will have to refer to my Bertrand Rusell’s Bumper Book of Philosophy Annual 1986 (Socrates the Sailor was my favourite followed closely by Thomas Fuchs and his double entendres) </p> <p>Just two points about me I think Wayland should know:</p> <p>1. While I have been writing a while, I joined Newsbiscuit a week ago as I wanted to dip my toe into a different genre - and have some joyful banter<br /> 2. I don’t bother wasting my time reading other satirical websites. I just waste time on newsbiscuit<br /> 4. I’ve eaten a monkey<br /> 3. I suffer from dyscalculia (yes the old ones are the best - evidently!)</p> <p>@ beau-jolly after seeing your occupation it took me another 2 days to work out your nick name….. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178392 Thu, 16 May 2013 15:13:59 +0000 beau-jolly 178392@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ Wayland; A bit picky? Different story about the same subject. On that basis we can only take the piss out of the government once. Just sayin'. Brianflan and Wrenfoe are new, good and prolific. Kinda fill a gap. </p> <p>I still don't know what twerking is though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178390 Thu, 16 May 2013 15:00:37 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 178390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That newsthump story is completely the opposite. This one is about somebody liking a picture on facebook failing to stop them dying, that one is about it stopping them from dying. They couldn’t be more different. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178375 Thu, 16 May 2013 13:18:44 +0000 brianflan 178375@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love the smell of old sweat in the morning! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178373 Thu, 16 May 2013 13:06:43 +0000 waylandsmithy 178373@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://newsthump.com/2012/11/19/8-year-old-cancer-survivor-thanks-facebook-users-for-curing-her-with-photo-sharing/">been done</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178370 Thu, 16 May 2013 12:48:39 +0000 beau-jolly 178370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>twerking? I'm scared to google that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178362 Thu, 16 May 2013 12:35:34 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 178362@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178353 Thu, 16 May 2013 12:09:29 +0000 ianslat 178353@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. I hate those things. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-178259 Thu, 16 May 2013 00:42:52 +0000 brianflan 178259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd like to watch the rest of Social Network...fell asleep half way through....a bottle of red may have been responsible though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-177747 Mon, 13 May 2013 08:09:50 +0000 Wrenfoe 177747@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The dudes who sued Zuckerberg over the origins of the Facebook idea</p> <p>Watch the movie "Social Network" (it's an interesting dramatization of how Facebook started) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-177746 Mon, 13 May 2013 08:04:37 +0000 Oxbridge 177746@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Neat. Who are the Winklevoss twins though? I feel so totally out of the zeitgeist these days... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-177742 Mon, 13 May 2013 07:48:19 +0000 Wrenfoe 177742@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I enjoyed this.</p> <p>(It probably could have got combined with Skylarks e-petition FP for a longer article) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61192#post-177741 Mon, 13 May 2013 07:45:37 +0000 brianflan 177741@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A Taunton man felt a little deceived today when he discovered that the girl he ‘liked’ in the group ‘1 million likes for my daughter to beat cancer’, died.</p> <p>Mark Pye, a 48 year old road sweeper who once won ‘Taunton Road sweeper of the Year’ award said ‘I thought I was doing my bit. The child eventually got over a million ‘likes’ so she should have survived. It makes me wonder where these ‘likes’ are going, probably to administrators and bureaucrats. It’s not as though I have a ‘like’ tree growing at the bottom of my garden.' </p> <p>Facebook has recently come under criticism for the low success rates of ‘likes’ in campaigns such as curing terminal illness, improving the attention received by teenagers looking to improve self esteem and preventing people for paying for anything ever again.</p> <p>Mr Pye, obviously irate, continued ‘I feel as though my ‘like’ has been wasted and I am fed up of getting scammed. Next time I am going to ‘like’ something more worthwhile such as a video of a fat jack russell twerking.’</p> <p>Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment as he is currently hiding under the Winklevoss twins’ house copying their new project. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=59119#post-171835 Thu, 04 Apr 2013 23:09:18 +0000 BillyBitzer 171835@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“I have to say that we were surprised at how effective the campaign was.” said Jody Morgan, a “part-time classroom assistant and full-time mother” as her Facebook profile quips, “but it goes to show that the power of social networking should not be underestimated. Normally our circle of friends restricts themselves to stuff that isn’t too contentious – complaining about the misuse of apostrophes or the weather – but this one just really took off!”</p> <p>Kim Jong-un’s recent hesitation to escalate the tension has nothing to do with lack of traditional support from Communist China, Jody claims. “When I saw the map in the Guardian showing that the missiles could reach as far as Australia, I sprang into action.” Jody’s picture of a cute Koala bear with the caption “Don’t Let Me be Nuked – Share the Bear if you Care” was an instant success, with over 2000 Likes in the first day.</p> <p>Darrel Hunt, Jody’s ex-boyfriend from their days a university takes up the story. ”The power of social networking really came into play at this point. Our circles only overlap by a few mutual acquaintances from back in the day, as they say, so by sharing Jody’s post it started to “go viral”. When I added the words “Stop being a Wrong’un, Kim Jong-un!” things just got mental, if you will excuse me for being a bit non-PC. After all, I’ve always been of the left, but you have to call a spade a spade. Whatever, the photo and my caption seemed to hit the zeitgeist.”</p> <p>The shared picture swept through the Internet, taking over not just Facebook, but Instagram and Twitter, despite some naysayers mocking it for being “trite”. “Charlie Brooker can say what he likes, but it wasn’t him that got the North to back down. Kim Jong-un was faced with the concerns of not just Weybridge, but friends as far away as Cumbria and even Tuscany. Even pupils at my school were sharing it with their friends, and whatever Mr Brooker might say, they have actually been really nice to me about it.”</p> <p>Jody is confident that Facebook is the way forward as an alternative to social unrest. “It’s now obvious that you don’t have to take part in civil disobedience to get things done in the world, If those misguided teenagers had taken to Facebook instead of the streets they could have halted the introduction of tuition fees in its tracks.”</p> <p>Jody and Darrel are planning to meet up to celebrate their blow for world peace. “It’s been nearly 30 years since the Red Wedge gig when we split.” Jody confided. “If hadn’t left early to get the bus back to Halls Darrel wouldn’t have ended up with that girl from Manchester. Perhaps it’s time to get radical again now the kids are nearly off my hands.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58346#post-169321 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 12:02:48 +0000 Oxbridge 169321@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain, the formerly quite capable island near Europe, has spoken of its relief at seeing television pictures of teenage girls in Beijing going hysterical over a brief glimpse of David Beckham getting out of a car. Hitherto, there had been growing fears that China's massive industrial power and highly educated workforce might one day be a threat to Western cultural hegemony.</p> <p>'The growth of China's economy in the past generation has been such that even we have stopped looking at pictures of funny cats on Facebook for long enough to take notice of this new superpower of 1.1 billion people,' said Dr Julian Walker, Professor of Dappy From N-Dubz Studies at the University of Leicester. 'So it's comforting to know that a significant number of young Chinese are brain-dead wannabe starfuckers, just like us.'</p> <p>Beckham then engaged in a brief kickabout with some young local players as part of his tour to promote football in China, while loud 'gangsta' music played on the tannoy and the spectators screamed out their love for him while booing at the mention of his wife, Victoria. 'Who says we don't export anything any more?' said Walker. 'Makes you proud to be British it does.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47977#post-137872 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 15:31:41 +0000 Andy Heath 137872@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Facebook have today announced the launch of a new feature to their social media platform.</p> <p>The worlds leading social media application has developed the new capability due to extensive research within their worldwide customer base. The central feature of the launch is a new ‘Exterminate’ button on the user profile page. Now, users not only have the option to ‘Like’ and ‘Share’ content, they have the option to exterminate the providers of poor or annoying content.</p> <p>“We are really proud of this new capability.” said a spokesperson. “Annoying and irrelevant content was becoming a real issue to our users. Now, with a simple click of the button serial providers of dull, boring and links to mindless commentary can be eliminated by controlled explosion.”</p> <p>“Many of our users were finding that exposure to this kind of content was leading to a state of induced coma and we really had to do something.” She continued. “It’s a great feature and one I have used several times already. It has certainly enhanced my user experience and its great fun.”</p> <p>Meanwhile, none of the social media commentators, normally active on the web, were available for comment as they couldn’t be located or had been admitted to hospital with instances of unexplained spontaneous combustion. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120376 Thu, 26 Apr 2012 22:45:41 +0000 Quaz 120376@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Let's ask the essential questions. Is it almost Friday? Where can I get cheap beer and petrol? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120297 Thu, 26 Apr 2012 10:58:13 +0000 yussle 120297@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well of course Hercule. By the way did I mention I was Greek? You loan me the Euros and I'll be happy to pay you, say half now and another quarter when you've loaned me three times the amount. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120264 Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:34:06 +0000 Hercule Poirot 120264@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>Enchante</em> to have been of assistance, Monsieur Yussle. </p> <p>Now there only remains the small matter of my fee... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120225 Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:27:56 +0000 grumblechops 120225@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah i did think about revealing myself, as they say...</p> <p>there were some who called me behavedave. you may remember me from such pieces as <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/11/07/bush-iran-has-mythological-weapons-236/">Bush: Iran has mythological weapons</a> and <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/09/30/uncapped-player-retires-from-england-squad-204/">Uncapped player retires from England squad</a>. i realised i got my dates wrong as that one was my first ever sub on NB.</p> <p>i feel like i've just come out! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120212 Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:17:16 +0000 thisisall1word 120212@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How long till the ed realises that every single user on this site is, in fact, a part of his exponentially cracking phyche and that he has been having a long and protracted bitch fest with different aspeects of himself?</p> <p>We all all saltire.<br /> We are all sharpehunter.</p> <p>@grumblechops - who were you back when? Or - who did you think you were? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120205 Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:04:05 +0000 yussle 120205@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just got round to reading you tour de farce Mr Poirot. Excellent work, for a Belgian. I feel I should have come to you in the first place to solve the mystery. Now could you tell me how I get out from under these lists of crossed out names? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120097 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 20:42:32 +0000 Ironduke 120097@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think a large helping of prunes required!</p> <p>Still, looks like someone has been playing the same game for over a year now</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22574">Look what I got called!</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120063 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 17:05:17 +0000 Al OPecia 120063@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've only ever had one alternative name, and that was "FormerlyAlOpecia" because I couldn't work out how to get my old name registered, then the Nice Admin Person did it for me.</p> <p>I think someone on here has been mixing prescription drugs with alcohol. It's great, but I try not to post when doing it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41987#post-120056 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:41:43 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 120056@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I just got a banner ad for tags4u.com. That made me laugh more than anything other than Poirot's comments today.</p> <p>JohnA - you want to watch who you're calling talented pal, some people don't take kindly to that sort of language. </p>