http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=fabio-capello The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 22:42:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108660 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:29:37 +0000 dvo4fun 108660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wayland - as a direct result of reading this sub I've discovered I have a slight 'wheeze' when exhaling completely. </p> <p>If I find I have cancer o' lungs I shall bill you rather than Imperial Tobacco. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108599 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:58:51 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 108599@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Suppose he could hitch a ride on the next satellite that falls to earth. Bound to be one soon, or if not three at once. You know how it is. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108597 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:49:29 +0000 waylandsmithy 108597@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hey Quaz, it's a real, topical story:<br /> <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-16908004">space jumper</a></p> <p>Taken to its natural conclusion, if they keep getting higher... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108580 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:30:36 +0000 Quaz 108580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea Wayland.</p> <p>Joe Kittinger (USA) did actually sky dive from the edge of space in 1960. First man to hit the speed of sound without an aircraft, but not quite high enough to qualify as the first man in space. <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-369888258105653405#" rel="nofollow">http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-369888258105653405#</a> </p> <p>I could rattle on about the difference between being shot straight up into space, as opposed to reaching orbit, but I expect I'd be beaten to death with a rolled up copy of "New Scientist". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108577 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:16:33 +0000 hughesroland 108577@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I LOVE this. Unusual, refreshing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108573 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:32:54 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108573@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's entirely the point VCG.</p> <p>And I'm still not dishing out stars, just in case this all morphs into an entirely different sub again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108569 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:22:33 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 108569@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it. No idea what Jeni is talking about though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108568 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:21:00 +0000 FlashArry 108568@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm <u>sure</u> this was an episode of <em>Terry and June</em></p> <p>Or the synopsis of <em>Twin Peaks</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108561 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:49:30 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank God we sold all the organs we could spare, and no longer have a mortgage.<br /> Though why we ended up with a shed full of Church organs has always been a mystery. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108559 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:44:32 +0000 waylandsmithy 108559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They're a nightmare. We've got a penguin sanctuary in our garage, just because we didn't want to take out their house insurance. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108557 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:30:02 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108557@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crikey, those Ts and Cs are getting stricter.</p> <p>Of course I didn't know that, why on earth would I read the small print before allowing him to sign it?<br /> What do you think I am? A lawyer?! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108554 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:13:05 +0000 waylandsmithy 108554@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Those were all part of the conditions for taking out a mortgage that the bank imposed on him, and you knew that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108553 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:08:51 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108553@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But if he hadn't spent all his money on lapdancers, drugs and giant gorillas he'd be able to pay the mortgage, and buy some much needed personal hygiene products. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108551 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:53:34 +0000 waylandsmithy 108551@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmm, but he can't go back to his parents, as he's trapped in a mortgage he can barely afford. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108550 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:42:37 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108550@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Waaaaaahhhhh!!!!<br /> I'm going back to my parents'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108549 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:40:56 +0000 waylandsmithy 108549@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's a great suggestion Jen, I'll add it in after the bit about blowfish. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108548 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:37:30 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108548@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don't trust you now.<br /> You deceived me, and made me look like a fool.<br /> All our friends are talking, and I'm too ashamed to show my face.<br /> I'm not sure I can forgive you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108545 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:14:02 +0000 waylandsmithy 108545@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll leave it alone. Promise. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108543 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:11:14 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108543@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm afraid to comment or rate this in case you come along and change it. Again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38373#post-108539 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:48:58 +0000 waylandsmithy 108539@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A sky diver attempting to jump to Earth from space should have concentrated harder during Physics lessons, according to experts.</p> <p>Jim Howell thought a leap from space would be a natural progression from jumping from tables, buildings and aeroplanes. But a fundamental misunderstanding of the laws of gravity have led to red faces, a lost deposit on a space suit and a concerned parachutist trapped in permanent geostationary orbit.</p> <p>Howell's trainer is unrepentant. He believes the mission could still be a success if the plucky plummeter would just unpack the giant anvil from his rucksack, cling to it and try jumping down a bit harder. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7392#post-19930 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:24:51 +0000 edward hack 19930@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent.<br /> Sums the whole fiasco up perfectly.<br /> If ever there was a win-win situation, then FabCap has it covered. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7392#post-19918 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:45:41 +0000 Ostsee 19918@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How much is that in Euros? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7392#post-19885 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:59:15 +0000 dicky37 19885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's the kind of ultimatum I like. What's the opposite of 'rock and a hard place'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7392#post-19882 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:56:15 +0000 Mary Evans 19882@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Titter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7392#post-19863 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:59:19 +0000 Skylarking 19863@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6908#post-18596 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:03:14 +0000 Gary Stanton 18596@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mwah. Thank you darling. </p> <p>It looked like another no-star sinker there for a moment. </p> <p>Now, ahem , where's your tool ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6908#post-18558 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:23:53 +0000 Zadok the second 18558@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Star-studded loveliness. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6908#post-18500 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:35:29 +0000 Gary Stanton 18500@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>TV hardman Ray Winstone’s series of World Cup Betfair adverts has struck the fear of God into those who like the occasional flutter turning them into hardened gamblers, it has emerged.</p> <p>The fear of losing one’s house and family to pay off gambling debts barely compares to that of having your head shoved into an overflowing sink then being thrown to the ground and repeatedly kicked in the ribs for failing to place a bet on Spain beating Chile 3-0, say most punters.</p> <p>Family man and cab driver, Steve Wilshaw, used to bet once a year on a White Christmas prior to witnessing one of Winstone’s ads. </p> <p>‘I’ve been an admirer of Ray’s work ever since his performance as Borstal Daddy ‘Carlin’ in <em>Scum</em> and am even prepared to consider the idea that <em>Beowulf</em> would have had a cockney accent. Well, during the half-time interval Ray explained to me in no uncertain terms that I would be very foolish not to place a bet on England beating Algeria by two goals to nil. Now I’m out of pocket by as much as two grand but that’s infinitely better than being twatted round the head with three snooker balls stuffed inside a sock by someone who clearly has a number of unresolved issues. ‘</p> <p>Betfair and Ray have been accused by betting watchdog OFFBET of promoting irresponsible gambling with punters being offered odds on every statistic imaginable including first goal scorer, half-time score, most theatrical tantrum and the number of passes England can string together before giving the ball away. </p> <p>Meanwhile viewers have claimed that Winstone’s intimidating style is scaring them into placing disproportionate bets on unlikely events such as the likelihood of the Germany versus Serbia game being interrupted by a marauding antelope - very attractive at 2000-1 .</p> <p>Pipe fitter, Nigel Wilson, has been forced to sell his children to Betfair and claims he was seduced by Winstone’s working class accent and trusty down-to-earth manner which he found hard to reconcile with a global gambling empire designed to fleece money from the pockets of the poor, the desperate and the fucking stupid. But when pressed he admitted :</p> <p>‘When Ray offered me odds of 10000-1 that Frank Ribery would be forced to fend off a lion whilst taking a corner kick against Uruguay, I found it difficult to say no to a twenty grand life-changing bet. Rather that than have him enquire as to whether I was carrying some sort of tool about my person before kicking seven varieties of living shit out of me .’ </p> <p>Winstone last night hit back at critics and encouraged punters to take up odds of 3-1 that Fabio Capello would finish the tournament with a vuvuzuela lodged so far up his anus as to render it unplayable’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6714#post-18244 Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:44:10 +0000 Stan Laurel 18244@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Super. Brilliant FP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6714#post-18211 Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:23:50 +0000 fun and games 18211@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not the daylight saving one? You are a harsh critic GC. </p>