http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=east-london The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 07:22:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160600 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 17:32:20 +0000 Anonymous 160600@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I say Jonnykins. Yer wasting yer time on that whelk addicted crustacean Pinkypoo. He's strictly a pie &amp; mash man...</p> <p>Meanwhile I'm adding more stars to your collection..</p> <p>Invoice in post</p> <p>Bunny... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160574 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 13:54:06 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hehehe sorry bout dat Pinx. We East London urchins are not renowned for our word conundrum skills I'm afraid old chap. Anyway I hate bloody whelks! Now for God's sake stop basking and GET OUT! ;)</p> <p>Thanks for the stars MD. I remember the bus related gun play well but for some reason I thought it was the Ivory Coast boys that were hosed down in the comfort of their own charabanc. Perhaps I AM an American after all! *chows down on a plate of hominy grits and tosses back a fifth of rye*</p> <p>Just spotted your edit mate. As Jimmy Greaves once famously remarked to Ian St John in a moment of rare sobriety "It's a funny old game Saint, and it's a funny old game" :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160558 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 12:31:14 +0000 Midfield Diamond 160558@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shame on you JS, Togo are famous! </p> <p>I admit I hadn't heard of Togo until they got to the World Cup Finals in 2006, but I also remember something about their team bus being attacked a few years ago - Emmanuel Adebayor was captain at the time.</p> <p>Good idea though, and some great lines, so have some stars.</p> <p>EDIT - just looked up Togo on Wikipedia (I know, I know) and there's a story about a team pretending to be the Togo national side playing a game against Bahrain. So your story is not so far fetched ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160550 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:36:12 +0000 pinxit 160550@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shleppins, you mormon! If you'd read my suggestion... it was a justification of the choice of name -</p> <p>Stan's Whelk Emporium - with the strapline on their shirts being 'WHELKS <strong>TO GO</strong>'</p> <p>* FUME * * SEETHE * * GROAN *</p> <p>* thud * </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160527 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 09:22:27 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160527@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>NOW you hit me with the ingenious headline Nick!</p> <p>Why I outta! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160524 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:41:42 +0000 nickb 160524@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Togo told to go </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160516 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 05:38:03 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160516@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you my friend, much appreciated. Both of the scenarios you mention would certainly have added to the gaiety of nations, if you'll forgive the rather desperate pun.</p> <p>In point of fact, my old friend Pinxit, who on occasion display his photoshopping genius in here, offered to do a mock up of a balding, rather elderly and portly soccer player with "Bill's Pie And Mash Shop" emblazoned on his shirt, but I turned him down on the grounds that I'm thoroughly sick of the man constantly basking in my reflected glory. ;)</p> <p>In a rather uncalled for and spooky twist, Togo have actually now progressed to the knockout stages and will next meet Burkina Faso!</p> <p>Oh the bitter, bitter irony! :)</p> <p>PS. To my eternal shame, I genuinely had never heard of Togo, and I'm not even American fer chrissakes! :( </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160492 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:53:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 160492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this, thought it was a great idea. Alternative ending could be them being replaced with another team that are clearly made up. Or real but not in Africa. Like Russia. Or Wales. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160428 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 14:24:59 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Officials at the African Cup Of Nations soccer tournament in South Africa were left red faced last night after it emerged that Togo, whose victory over Algeria on Sunday dumped one of the favourites out of the tournament, wasn't actually a real place in Africa at all, but a fake name adopted by Cripplegate Casuals, an East London Sunday league outfit currently languishing at the foot of the local Hoxton League Div III.</p> <p>Since entering they've enjoyed mixed fortunes with a narrow 2-1 defeat by highly fancied Ivory Coast followed by a magnificent 2-0 victory over a powerful Algerian side which should have led to a clash against Tunisia with a victory seeing them progress into the knockout stages.</p> <p>Tony Milner 29, the team captain told reporters. "We only entered for a bit of a laugh really. We certainly didnt expect to progress this far. To knock out the likes of Algeria has been a real bonus. The lads are absolutely over the moon to be fair. Admittedly one or two of our players got some funny looks at times, especially Ginger Atkinson our striker, the two Chinese lads and Bogdan our Romanian goalie, but in all fairness I think our attacking style of play has hopefully won us a few friends amongst the neutrals.</p> <p>The African Football Federation issued a statement last night. "Obviously we're a bit embarrassed and steps will now be taken to ensure nothing like this can happen again, but with Africa being such a big place and with so many small countries in it you can understand how a mix up like this could happen. I mean it stands to reason"</p> <p>It's believed that a senior member of the AFF is currently studying his atlas to see if he can find Burkina Faso. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130997 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:07:48 +0000 Des Custard 130997@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A well-deserved FP. A classic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130924 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 21:01:20 +0000 FlashArry 130924@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>More stars from here - brilliant stuff ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130913 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 20:34:28 +0000 button 130913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolutlely loved this </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130889 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 18:24:48 +0000 waylandsmithy 130889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely job. The picture suggestion is inspired. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130765 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 11:12:15 +0000 writinginbsl 130765@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very funny indeed</p> <p> many late stars</p> <p>was put off initially from reading it before by the CAPS LOCK</p> <p>god, im shallow</p> <p>glad it got another airing </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130754 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:03:58 +0000 Oxbridge 130754@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very nice. Alternative suspect might be China. 'We don't have such beautifucl cities in China,' said someone or other, 'so we got a few men to dig it up and sell us it for the scrap value.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130685 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 22:47:32 +0000 dvo4fun 130685@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely work from start to finish </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130682 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 22:42:03 +0000 Boutros 130682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, gold stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130678 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 22:17:30 +0000 Gerontius 130678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Genius.<br /> This waif and stray is writer of several all time favourite subs.<br /> Check him out....then twat him for being away so long. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130675 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:39:56 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 130675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cracking </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130673 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:36:43 +0000 Yikes 130673@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, great story and snappy punchline!</p> <p>Liked Brazil as the suspects .. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130665 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:23:12 +0000 Ironduke 130665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wonderful work, cracking idea.</p> <p>Two 'obviously' in the last sentence, fifth para.</p> <p>5* from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45445#post-130655 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:53:34 +0000 Peter749400 130655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://media.zenfs.com/en-GB/blogs/ept_prod/olympic-village-before180412.jpg"></p> <p>The entire Olympic Village was stolen from East London last night, prompting further concerns over the security of the Games.</p> <p>Despite being guarded by a substantial number of highly trained A-level students wearing fluorescent bibs, at least a few of whom were thought to have been awake at the time of the incident, thieves made off with the 80,000 tonne steel and concrete centre-piece of London's hopes and dreams sometime between the hours of midnight and 6am.</p> <p>Police are asking anyone who saw "a very large building, or group of buildings" being moved around East London last night to contact them immediately. </p> <p>A police spokesman said: "The village was last seen in situ at about midnight last night by a member of the public. By dawn this morning all sign of it had vanished, as had the Uruguayan ping pong team who were sleeping inside the village at the time of the incident. Unfortunately it appears that the village had not been secured properly to the ground and as such was an easy target for passing thieves." </p> <p>Unfortunately these kind of opportunistic thefts are all too common in London these days and we always knew there would be an increase during the period of the Olympics. These Olympic villages can fetch a substantial sum on the black market". The spokesman also speculated that Brazil might have been behind the theft - "obviously as hosts of the 2016 Games there is an obvious motive" he said. </p> <p>The Organising Committee of the Olympic Games were today bolting all the remaining Olympic facilities to the ground in an attempt to prevent further thefts before the opening ceremony. </p> <p>Hopes that the village might be found were initially raised when a member of the public reported seeing a large concrete structure "looking very strange and out of place", but police later confirmed that the man had mistaken the Olympic village for Milton Keynes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28915#post-81083 Mon, 08 Aug 2011 15:20:41 +0000 Smaug 81083@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A riot brewing in Dalston, East London, has dispersed when the rioters deemed it had become too "popular and conformist".</p> <p>In an echo of the disruption that's swept London in recent days, a posse began to form outside "Rodeo", a retro clothing shop on the outskirts of Shoreditch, and began to march down Dalston Kingsland High Street. As numbers swelled, there were reports of widespread pouting and thick-rimmed glasses without lenses. Several record shops and small boutique cafes were looted.</p> <p>Dubbed a "Pop-up Riot", police feared it would be a matter of time before the overwhelming smugness turned violent. But locals were relieved to see the group disperse as quickly as it arrived. Some onlookers attributed this to the rioters' failed attempts to turn bottles of balsamic vinegar into petrol bombs. However, Sebastian Phelps, a web designer and promoter who joined the mob of disgruntled hipsters, said the riot had descended into banality.</p> <p>"But we haven't given up," he added "and will be rallying at a new bar that's just opened in Hoxton and has wi-fi. You've probably never heard of it." </p>