http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=dave The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 06:13:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89609 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 17:23:51 +0000 dvo4fun 89609@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Late award of stars. Raaarr! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89535 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:43:13 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 89535@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>V. good. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89531 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:20:47 +0000 ronseal 89531@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89530 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:14:24 +0000 Qoxiivi 89530@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I should also just point out the amazing SEO tags. Who out there, in particular, is searching for 'ungrateful old lady'? Brilliant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89529 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 10:12:23 +0000 Qoxiivi 89529@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wanted to dislike this purely because of the uppercase title but, alas, it's excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89527 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:51:38 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 89527@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89522 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:32:13 +0000 Golgo13 89522@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89493 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 08:02:35 +0000 writinginbsl 89493@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>good stuff</p> <p>docked you one star tho for use of caps </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89478 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 06:55:28 +0000 JohnA 89478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this as well 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89448 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 20:50:51 +0000 delightfullyodd 89448@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant. 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31618#post-89446 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 20:26:14 +0000 Peter749400 89446@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Despite heroically diving in front of a lorry to save an old lady from being run over, Good samaritan and local charity worker Dave Hitchens was somehow, still an arsehole, it emerged last night. </p> <p>Against all the oods and notwithstanding his outstanding act of selfless bravery in broad daylight, passers by explained that although they admired his courage, they were nonetheless left with a distinct sensation that Dave, 33 was a "class A Arsehole". </p> <p>"It was like - yeah you've saved the old lady but there's just something about you I don't like" said one eyewitness "and to be honest that was the lasting impression I got from him". </p> <p>Friends and acquaintances were also inexplicably downbeat about Dave's general character: </p> <p>"I don't know what it is about Dave" said one acquaintance - "it's like - he's a really loving and giving person and I know he's given a lot of time and money towards helping other people and helping to cure diseases and manning lifeboats and rescuing cats, but somehow I still just want to punch him in the face".</p> <p>Another peer commented: "yeah Dave just tries too hard - rescuing a drowning kitten one week, giving blood the next - it's like - dude...not cool". </p> <p>Dave, who took a year of unpaid leave recently to use his PhD in biochemistry to help scientists find a cure for cancer, was reportedly "gutted" last night to be so ill-thought of by his next of kin and peers. </p> <p>"One tries to give of oneself" he remarked, modestly looking at the floor, "and to help those less fortunate than ourselves - and of course one never expects the acclaim of one's peers."</p> <p>The old lady in question, dusting herself down at the side of the road which, had it not been for Dave, she would undoubtedly have been crushed into a bloody pulp onto, commented: "Well I'm grateful for what he did but when he introduced himself afterwards and offered to call me a cab I just thought - I'm so glad you're not my son". </p> <p>Dave was asked for further comment but explained that he was busy removing a thorn from a puppy's paw and would be late for his session at Childline if he was further delayed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26002#post-70807 Fri, 03 Jun 2011 13:32:48 +0000 locker 70807@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The music of Chas &amp; Dave has come in for fierce criticism with a lack of contemporary role models being cited as the main reason for the recent explosion in 'Cockney Culture' amongst American youths.</p> <p>One Youth Leader in Los Angeles, who did not want to be named for fear of reprisals, said "This is tragic, as it represents the erosion of American culture and a cynical attempt by the purveyors of this poison to influence young people with a subversive, anti-societal message."</p> <p>He continued, " And the way those guys talk about their women folk, it just aint right. I mean, imagine it was your sister they sayin' got more 'rabbit than Sainsburys', huh, how you feel then? My momma she lived in this neighbourhood for nearly thirty years, now she can't go a walk without someone shouting 'Gertcha' as she walking by. And whats all this wearing trousers around their waist with braces ?"</p> <p>Sales figures of Pork Pie hats and stay-press trousers have seen a tenfold increase as retailers struggle to cope with the demand caused by the new fashions which have become essential kit for all want-to-be-cockneys, or WOCKNEYS as they are known. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7604#post-20564 Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:13:25 +0000 Sinnick 20564@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ant &amp; Dave have today admitted that their new job is quite similar to presenting BB. Indeed, running the UK is not as hard as they'd thought. The photo session in the garden of no.10 went well, and showed who was boss. Full analysis later, once the interpreter has completed translation ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2112#post-6229 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 08:12:04 +0000 Des Custard 6229@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following the breakdown of 11th-hour crisis talks, the nation is bracing itself for what could be a drawn-out strike by a section of the community that feels increasingly undervalued.</p> <p>For some, the effects will be felt as soon as the strike begins tomorrow morning, as Dave the train driver, who usually turns up come snow, leaves or industrial action, stays at home. Mail will arrive late as Dave the shorts-wearing postie stays in bed and leaves it to his colleagues to muddle through. Elsewhere, the effects will build up more gradually as photocopiers go un-mended, marketing initiatives are missed, and Dave-less groups of blokes show less inclination to support their local pubs.</p> <p>‘A significant aspect of the problem is that it’s not a typical workplace dispute along traditional bipartisan lines,’ said a spokesperson for the conciliation service ACAS. ‘Daves pervade our national life at all levels, from chief executives to lab assistants and beyond, but especially in the unglamorous supporting roles. Without their common sense and willingness to get on with things, life would soon grind to a halt.’</p> <p>Dave Davidson of the National Association of Daves said it was more about recognition than money. ‘We Daves are taken for granted, even mocked,’ he said. ‘The Dave channel on TV is typical of the way people see us. In recognition of our contribution to society we are looking for immediate pay parity with Jameses and Jeremys, and our own day off on 1st March, St David’s Day.’ </p> <p>Davidson said that the effects of the strike would be intensified because of the preponderance of Daves in the 30 to 60 age group. ‘These are the people in positions of power and responsibility, that make things tick,’ said Dave. ‘The under-30s doubtless have great management potential and seriously good inspiration, but without experienced Daves to put their ideas into practice they can look very silly.’</p> <p>While yet another national strike could be bad news for a beleaguered Gordon Brown, he is said by insiders to be secretly pleased that the strike will have little effect on his almost Dave-free cabinet, taking only Dave Miliband out of action. </p> <p>Over at the Conservative Party’s Millbank HQ the problem is more acute. Any hopes that Cameron would buck the national trend were dashed when he told reporters: ‘I’m out with the rest of them. I’ve had quite enough of all this “Dave this, Dave that” piss-taking. You can get on with the election on your own: see how far a George and a William will get you.’ </p>