http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=darth-vader The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 08:10:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-5135 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:12:43 +0000 Basil_B 5135@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I hear Leonard Cohen is dueting with Lulu on his hit Hallelujah and out of respect for her he is re-naming the song Hallelululujah </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-5121 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:23:03 +0000 edward hack 5121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can have 5 of my stars but I want them back later.<br /> It reminds me of Rice and Lloyd-Webber at their best </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-5112 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:16:35 +0000 malgor 5112@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers, Ed. Such trivialities don't bother me in the least. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-5111 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:12:14 +0000 smyke 5111@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I still prefer Mr Lover Glover's version. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-5107 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:45:27 +0000 editor 5107@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apologies Malgor - we took the name of the last person to comment, not the original author.</p> <p>ED </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-4257 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:03:58 +0000 Mr Glover Lover 4257@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha ha love it! Maybe his CDs should carry a sticker saying "Warning - Listening to this album may make you shit yourself". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1557#post-4254 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:00:41 +0000 malgor 4254@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Veteran singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen has released what may be his last album before his voice finally drops deeper than the lowest frequency audible to humans, medical experts have warned.</p> <p>A new study of the album’s title track <em>They’ve booked me in at Dignitas</em> has revealed new insight into the gravelly crooner’s throat and lung condition, resulting from his lifelong passion for nicotine. ‘It’s like he’s singing from inside a black hole,’ said Dr Lichtenstein, unplugging his stethoscope.</p> <p>The medics found that by playing the track at many times the normal speed, they were able to bring his voice up several octaves and into the range of human hearing. ‘Even at that speed,’ said the doctor, ‘he makes Darth Vader sound like a chipmunk on helium.’</p> <p>The study has given doctors a deeper understanding of Mr Cohen’s desires, especially the verse:</p> <p><em>The nurse, she is an angel, pretty as a flower,<br /> And yes, this is a nice way to spend my final hour,<br /> But when I asked for ‘Senior Service’ before I walk the plank,<br /> I meant I want a cigarette, not a fucking wank.<br /> </em><br /> Cohen himself added a comment which might have made a cracking punchline. However, nobody could hear what he said. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=546#post-1492 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:06:30 +0000 Mrblacker 1492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Empire is still reeling after the Emperor launched a a full scale inquiry into the effectiveness and capabilities of his army of Imperial Stormtroopers.</p> <p>While admitting the destruction of Alderon was a success, Darth Vader, the Emperor's right hand man told reporters that appears to have been a one-off.</p> <p>"Our ground forces were not involved in the destruction of Alderon, that was purely a Naval matter." Lord Vader said, breathing heavily throughout the news conference.</p> <p>"What has become plain is that the Army is just not up to scratch. Whether that's down to the training or the equipment, will be investigated by the inquiry under Lord Hutton."</p> <p>Equipment has long been a subject of complaint by Stormtroopers. They say their laser rifles are inaccurate and lack the kill-power of those used by the Rebels. </p> <p>News footage and daily body counts indicate that while some Stormtroopers manage to kill or severely wound members of the Rebellion, the vast majority are using weapons that are either badly calibrated or just plain useless.</p> <p>Lord Hutton is expected to start taking evidence for his inquiry aboard a newly finished Death Star in the summer.</p> <p>BAE Systems, which makes the majority of the equipment used by the Empire, refused to comment on the investigation. </p>