http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=dalai-lama The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 14:08:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176137 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:17:18 +0000 Lenny Bee 176137@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good and very original and nicely witty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176129 Wed, 01 May 2013 08:24:30 +0000 Des Custard 176129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely FP Sky. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176091 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:03:59 +0000 butagirl 176091@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fantastic stuff. Deserves FP status for sure. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176031 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:51:24 +0000 Sinnick 176031@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine piece of work, love the "Il Harvestore". Ego amare illud.</p> <p>Nice to see a different approach to satirising the Papacy, doesn't always have to be about paedophilia - there's plenty of time for that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176011 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:59:21 +0000 Skylarking 176011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@titus Oops! Apologies. People get a bit touchy about these matters apparently. So I'm told... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176010 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:50:27 +0000 Wrenfoe 176010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It gets my vote - nice one! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176007 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:43:08 +0000 nickb 176007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bit of quality! Hooray. Who said satire is Brown Bread (geddit?) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176005 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:35:12 +0000 Titus 176005@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Skylarking: not to worry - don't take <em>me</em> too seriously either! You make a valid point; repeated jokes about the the church's tradition of paedophilia get a bit tedious afer a while. There are plenty of other practices to condemn them for and I liked your initial post. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175998 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:06:46 +0000 Skylarking 175998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I fear you may be taking me a bit too literally Titus. </p> <p>But, yes, there was a time when to write about the RC Church satirically meant writing about sexual abuse. But as I didn't have anything to say about that... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175995 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:55:24 +0000 Titus 175995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Skylarking: in what way is it 'soooo last Papacy'? Have they stopped buggering choirboys, or have they stopped investigating and condemning the tradition? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175993 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:45:53 +0000 Skylarking 175993@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"And not a mention of buggering choirboys, strange to say."</p> <p>Oh that's just soooo last Papacy daahlings. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175980 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 07:59:19 +0000 Oxbridge 175980@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shurely 'Bergoglio'? Very nice though. And not a mention of buggering choirboys, strange to say. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175977 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 07:40:45 +0000 monkeyrepublic 175977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Magic! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175971 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 06:42:17 +0000 Squudge 175971@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VG - liked, and SirL is on to something re the cardinals - though I think they might plan to 'nail him' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175942 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:45:59 +0000 Sir Lupus 175942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice, esp the "Vatican insider". if those cardinals get any more pissed off, they might nail him up do you think? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175940 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:38:21 +0000 reforse 175940@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175938 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:34:02 +0000 Skylarking 175938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Newly-enthroned Pope Francis is allegedly ‘pissing everybody off big time’ with his ‘low key, unostentatious manner and general Christlike humility of spirit’, according to Vatican insiders.</p> <p>The new Pope, born Jorge Mario Bergogli has been charming the media and public alike with his easy-going approachable manner and simple lifestyle. But this same absence of bloated pomp and crazed hubris is allegedly ‘wearing bloody thin’ among his colleagues at the Vat.</p> <p>‘It was all a bit of a novelty at first’ admitted Cardinal Sergio Venturi dripping in signet rings, flanked on either side by the Swiss Guard. ‘The first thing he did when he was elected was to get an OAP pass for the municipal pool. We all thought it was rather sweet in a third world kind of way.’</p> <p>‘But it gets to you after a while; we had the Dalai Lama over last week and where did His Holiness want to hold a banquet in his honour? Only ‘Il Harvestore’ again! There I was, having to explain to Tibetan Buddhism’s supreme spiritual leader about the concept of an unlimited salad bar.’</p> <p>‘And if your esteemed guest wishes to visit the Ice Cream Factory for afters, order yourself a bloody crème brulee; don’t just sit there nodding benignly while the fourteenth incarnation of the Bodhisattva picks off his marshmallows.’</p> <p>Another Vatican insider who wished not to be identified went even further: ‘The Holy Roman Church has a long tradition of sickening excess and sociopathic power-brokering. We have toppled whole kingdoms on a single Pontiff’s whim. Anything that stood in our way we crushed under our heel. <em>Il Papa</em> has got this glorious heritage and basically he’s pissing it up a wall. Ungrateful, or what?’</p> <p>The Head of the Worldwide Catholic Church – or ‘Acting Chairperson’ as His Holiness has taken to calling himself – was unavailable for comment at time of going to press. He was said to be 'lending a hand with an ecumenical Meals on Wheels service. Or something equally crap.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39230#post-111456 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 21:03:53 +0000 Drylaw 111456@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That sounds like a good idea. Better than those stupid bears anyway. </p> <p>I like the sealions best. At least they work for a living. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39230#post-111402 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:05:36 +0000 Skylarking 111402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Dali Lama? Think I saw that at Tate Modern... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39230#post-111346 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 09:46:03 +0000 The Last Detail 111346@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A spokesman for the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland which operates Edinburgh Zoo has confirmed that work has begun on the construction of a Dali Lama enclosure. The news follows the announcement in January that the Dalai Lama would be arriving in Scotland this summer, generating great excitement and phenomenal ticket sales. </p> <p>"We are building the new enclosure on vacant land opposite our Giant Panda exhibit to create a new 'Tibetan Experience' attraction." The spokesman told a packed news conference. "Early indications are that this rare and relcusive creature could prove even more popular than its neighbours, Yang Guang and Tian Tian."</p> <p>The Dalai Lama (scientific name Tenzin Gyatso) has been threatened by the destruction of its natural habitat in Tibet and is believed by some to be the last of its kind. However zoo bosses are hopeful that they can start a breeding programme and are even optimistic that they will eventually be able to reintroduce the species into the wild. </p> <p>"The Dalai Lama has been in captivity previously and we are confident that it will settle in well in our state-of-the-art facility designed to recreate the hillside habitats of its homelands. The cost of the project will be offset be increased visitor numbers and sponsorship deals." The zoo spokesman explained. "We have already been approached by a toy manufacturer keen to supply us with cuddly toys of his Holiness to sell in our gift shops." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=775#post-2053 Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:00:24 +0000 Anonymous 2053@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Lama-ing live" Love it! Nice work. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=775#post-2052 Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:58:18 +0000 Ludicity 2052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'The Chinese have absolutely nothing to fear from my lamas,' insisted Surrey farmer, Chester Rivet, 'They are all very peaceful and I deliberately keep them ignorant of international politics to avoid any trouble.' </p> <p>However, the Chinese government remains unconvinced. 'The breeding of lamas is not something that we want to see,' said Chinese Foreign Minister, Yang Jiechi, 'They might seem innocent enough grazing in a field in Hazlemere. But what happens if they escape? Before you know it they will be running round the world demanding a free Tibet.'</p> <p>Foreign Secretary, David Miliband, is still holding out for a compromise: 'We are currently looking at the possibility of cross breeding the Dalai Lama with the more docile Panchen Lama,' he said hopefully. However, early attempts to get them to mate are proving difficult since each lama refuses to recognise the other.</p> <p>The issue is made all the more sensitive because we are right in the middle of the lama-ing season. 'So far we have seen a number of live lama births,' said Kate Humble, presenter of BBC 2's <em>Lama-ing Live</em>, 'if only the Chinese could just hold one of these beautiful baby lamas in their hands, then I really think that they would change their minds.'</p> <p>'Lama farms are crucial to the spiritual well being of the world,' said actor and deeply profound man, Richard Gere, 'all my jumpers are made from lama wool and drinking their holy milk imbues me with a wonderful sense of transcendental calm.' </p> <p>Hopes of a diplomatic solution were beginning to fade last night as the Chinese issued the British Government with an ultimatum: 'either close the farm or allow it to be annexed by the People's Republic.' </p> <p>'We can’t just stand by and watch this happen' said Mr Miliband, 'I for one intend to shut my eyes and hope the whole thing just goes away.' </p>