Forum » Tag: Connor - Recent Posts

Forum » Tag: Connor - Recent Posts http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=connor The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 14:00:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php kga6 on "Rock in landmark victory on novel format TV show" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42519#post-121563 Sun, 06 May 2012 18:43:26 +0000 kga6 121563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ A large rock has been declared cliff-top Inanimate Object of the Year, winning 80 % of the public vote. Channel 5's IOOTY show pulled a record 96.5 viewers for its final show, of which only 7 were journalists researching an article on 'What exactly Channel 5 gets up to these days.' The show followed the progress of unsuspecting entrants along the Dover cliffs over 5 long years, scoring contestants on their inanimateness, inconspicuousness and ability to overcome peer pressure over extended periods of time, using scientifically rigorous techniques such as holding up cards with numbers on. One of the hosts, an unknown presenter of unremarkable proportions, said at the announcement of the winner, "You were a, quite remarkable, sedentary sedimentary." “Whoa steady on, Bill, that was almost sensationalist”, replied a co-host. The scene was cut for almost 10 seconds whilst everyone calmed down. Tragically, one viewer found the excitement all too much to bear and left to make a cup of tea, later claiming she was ‘just thirsty’. This excitable reaction was markedly different from the emotions invoked by the majority of a series that generally featured still shots of plants, rocks and plants growing on rocks. Some of the rocks boasted droppings, but this was always an unprecedented bonus. A typical episode had minimal dialogue, mostly limited to, “Do you think that’s a contestant, Bill?” “Yes, I think so, John, just look at those concentration lines.” Viewers appreciated the easy-watching nature of the show as well as the distinct absence of attention seeking desk-jockeys and a mob-like audience of geologists. To avoid too much publicity and constant earache for the general public, the show aired only once every 6 months for 15 minutes. Even in the aftermath, there has hardly been a ripple of excitement, a feature that impressively bored through the entire series. It is not thought that the rousing performance of the large rock on this show will be enough to inspire the public to take up cliff-top-inanimateness. Or give the rock ‘landmark status’ on the cliff-tops, not even for a few brief months before the hype dies down. This largely due to the lack of an expensive behind-the-scenes team pulling out all the stops to disguise what is, at the end of the day, a rather average, large rock. theumpire on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-1316 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:39:16 +0000 theumpire 1316@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Culled from the BBC MyStory website My Mam ran the best little whorehouse in Yorkshire Rose told me about working in London and Glasgow from a shared flat with other girls or on the streets – far from home and far from judging neighbours and her Irish Protestant family. Sometimes the conversations took a more surreal turn: “You know him has the newsagent’s at the back of Morrisons?” “I don’t know him. Go on though.” “You do! Big fat man. Swaps the dodgy videos.” “I don’t. Go on!” “You do. Well, you know he’s selling school girl’s knickers for four pounds a pair?” “Why? Can’t you just buy them in a shop?” “No, these are worn. ‘Soiled’ he calls it in the ad.” “No!” “Well I went into the shop the other day and nobody’s behind the counter. I wandered up to the stockroom door, and there he was hunched in the corner like Rumplestiltskin, rubbing gorgonzola cheese into the gusset of some pound-shop pants.” “God! What did you do?” “I asked him what he was doing. So he says, ‘I’m rubbing cheese into these knickers.’ Then he stops, looks up at me and says: ‘You won’t tell anyone though, will you?” virtuallywill on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-1216 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:17:53 +0000 virtuallywill 1216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=297" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=297</a> rickwestwell on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-1165 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:44:52 +0000 rickwestwell 1165@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Blimey. I remember the glory <strike>days</strike> minutes of Neat-O Sub, and now it's come down to bickering between flanges and gussets. What a place to bicker. AdrianJ on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-1141 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:33:15 +0000 AdrianJ 1141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Ben & Jerry’s Marketing Director fired, following failed launch of Gusset Custard Jammydodgers on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-1138 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:14:40 +0000 Jammydodgers 1138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Sounds like a Pepsi challenge or something? or: I Can see Danny Baker on the Housewife's doorstep now: 'So its been 1 week now, would you swap me one NEW compact flange for two of your old 'big box' Gussets? rikkor on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-879 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:58:47 +0000 rikkor 879@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Are you an Irish Setter by any chance? Would not flange be better than gusset? Scroat on ">>> NEAT O" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=296#post-864 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:52:59 +0000 Scroat 864@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ For newcomers, this works as follows. The setter, in this case me, provides a word which has to be incorporated into a submission. You'll pick it up as you reads submissions. If there are any. You have until midday Saturday, at which point I'll announce the winner, and they in turn pick a word, do the judging and so on... The word is GUSSET