http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=chairman-mao The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 21:03:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36677#post-102816 Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:07:41 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 102816@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36677#post-102799 Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:55:37 +0000 brian 102799@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Volkswagen has agreed to stop its Blackberry servers sending emails to some of its employees when they are off-shift.</p> <p>The carmaker confirmed it made the move earlier this year following complaints that staff's work and home lives were becoming blurred.</p> <p>The restriction covers employees in Germany working under trade union negotiated contracts.</p> <p><img src="http://briansphotoblog.com/miscimages/blackberry.jpg"></p> <p>A spokesman for VW explained that worker's motivation was of paramount importance to the company. It had taken lessons from history, especially from Chairman Mao in China that showed that a happy worker was a productive worker. The Blackberry emails were simply the 21st Century equivalent of Mao's Red Book, disseminating the thoughts of VW's Chairman.</p> <p>A message received at bedtime would send the worker off to sleep pleased with his day's work at the factory. A message upon wakening would put him in a positive frame of mind for a productive day ahead.</p> <p>VW's Chairman had listened to the Worker's Council and agreed to this temporary ban but warned that this was only a temporary respite to allow time for VW to come up with a new system of worker motivation. It is thought that this would involve replacing the Blackberries with tiny chip implants and retinal projectors, allowing workers to benefit from motivational readings from the VW Chairman 24/7.</p> <p>A Council spokesman responded that he would vote in favour and recommend the workers acceptance and then retire to the countryside mansion so kindly provided by VW for him and his family. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1068#post-2717 Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:40:23 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 2717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Acting on a tip off, Britain's elite cops are closing in on a drugs Mr Big, said to be operating out of the chinese embassy, known as Chairman Miaow Miaow.</p> <p>The drugs overload, said to be a legend among London's chinese community, is alleged to even have an oil painting of himself hanging in the hallway of the embassy.</p> <p>'The British public can rest assured, the police have the matter in hand,' said a Scotland Yard spokesman, 'our intelligence is faultless.'</p> <p>One hardened detective put the message more forcefully. 'If this Chairman Miaow Miaow chummy parks on a yellow line, we'll have him' </p>