http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=cern The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 01:48:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38140#post-107801 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:22:08 +0000 Al OPecia 107801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>She either knows where he is, or what state he is in, but not at the same time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38140#post-107772 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:38:54 +0000 medici2471 107772@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>- </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100942 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:08:57 +0000 writinginbsl 100942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>fab</p> <p>many many late stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100937 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:19:24 +0000 Qoxiivi 100937@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just so fucking excellently crafted. Possibly the best article I've ever read on here. Certainly in the top five. Brilliant work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100935 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:13:04 +0000 Ostsee 100935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yup, a great sub. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100927 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 10:02:03 +0000 Ludicity 100927@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta very much. Help yourselves to a complimentary neutrino. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100876 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:17:37 +0000 Username 100876@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FP! Beauty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100851 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:25:57 +0000 malgor 100851@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great gags, all through; and, personally, I especially like the extra rubbing it in at the end! (Strong finale? Clegg will end with a whimper.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100825 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:21:21 +0000 Username 100825@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Despite the excitement, many scientists remain sceptical about the findings and claim that the Clegg is just an insignificant blip that will probably fade away in time. "</p> <p>Suggestion: end the story there, and leave out the last para. It's a strong finale. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100773 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:16:01 +0000 bonjonelson 100773@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fundamental political priciples may have to be abandoned if the Clegg Particle is proven. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100770 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:54:24 +0000 Sinnick 100770@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quality, 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100765 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:43:23 +0000 beau-jolly 100765@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Astonishingly accomplished. I'm buggered if I'm going to try writing anything more than a ticker if this is what I'm up against.</p> <p>(apart from a teeny blip in the last few words?) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100758 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:29:05 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 100758@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ludicity's back, hooray! Have you had a breakage and decided you need to replace a mug?</p> <p>Just as I was starting to think my terror arrest sub might make FP too, bugger.</p> <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100749 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:57:31 +0000 Perks 100749@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top notch, well written. Five stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100748 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:54:16 +0000 dvo4fun 100748@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh now this is really lovely. Great idea great execution. Take 10 stars Ludic </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35868#post-100746 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:50:15 +0000 Ludicity 100746@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle.</p> <p>The Clegg’s existence has been postulated for some time as a means to resolving strange inconsistencies in the Standard Political Model, while remaining barely detectable itself.</p> <p>‘The Clegg is very tiny and only capable of weak interactions,’ explained Professor Jim Al-Khalili, ‘However, despite exerting only a very small force, it appears to play a key role in providing the mass for some of the larger political elements.’</p> <p>Scientists finally made the breakthrough by bombarding a political vacuum in the House of Commons Collider with high energy levels of scorn and derision. This eventually caused the Clegg to appear, albeit only for a nanosecond, before rapidly vanishing back into the ether.</p> <p>‘This brief sighting could help to explain a lot of things,’ said Professor Al-Khalili. ‘The Clegg represents a stumbling block, but if it does exist then it may provide the key to how we all ended up where we are today.’</p> <p>Scientists are fascinated by the Clegg particle because it has a strange ‘reverse spin’. This means that whenever it tries to go one way, it always ends up going in completely the opposite direction. The Clegg also bridges the gap between matter and anti-matter, existing in what experts believe is a perpetual state of ‘doesn’t-really-matter’.</p> <p>Despite the excitement, many scientists remain sceptical about the findings and claim that the Clegg is just an insignificant blip that will probably fade away in time. </p> <p>Meanwhile, others are hoping that it may be possible to harness the power of the Clegg for good. ‘It may seem like something from science fiction,’ said Al-Khalili, ‘but in the future it might be possible to split the Clegg, releasing political power of such magnitude that it may be able to light up very a small torch.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-100679 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:39:15 +0000 medici2471 100679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers, just a shot in the dark... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-100668 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:59:44 +0000 reforse 100668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Spot on with the date if radio 4 this morning is correct. 5* to be given next week. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99962 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 20:40:04 +0000 nickb 99962@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In the company of a neutrino. Xxxxx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99892 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:31:11 +0000 Griffin 99892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes! Take 5. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99887 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:10:36 +0000 medici2471 99887@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>- </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87149 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 08:56:23 +0000 writinginbsl 87149@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87132 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 08:07:58 +0000 dvo4fun 87132@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87118 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:30:09 +0000 Qoxiivi 87118@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87116 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:11:27 +0000 rikkor 87116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30918#post-87115 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:09:30 +0000 rikkor 87115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really funny. I use French 7's as I used to be in IT at banks. It really makes a difference in banking (or IT) when someone can't figure out which one (seven?) you mean. People think you a horrible snob in the US for using Frenchified 7's. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30918#post-87091 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:56:58 +0000 Boutros 87091@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's back to normal at CERN after a scientist admitted to mistaking a foreign seven with a line through it for a figure one that had been crossed out. </p> <p>"These things happen from time to time when you have people of all nationalities working together," the physicist commented. "Yesterday I drew a smiley to represent a person winking and someone else thought it was a person picking their nose. But that didn't get into the news, did it?" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87064 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:12:58 +0000 waylandsmithy 87064@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Splendid! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30904#post-87059 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:49:58 +0000 wwwiz 87059@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>CERN spokesman Otto Heinkelman confirmed that a neutrino had traveled from Switzerland to Italy at faster than the speed of light. </p> <p>'It may have been coincidence, but last night the physicists here in Geneva were watching the 1949 film, "The Third Man", where the character Harry Lime declares, "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."'</p> <p>'Shortly after that, we fired up the particle accelerator and that neutrino took off like - well, a bat out of hell doesn't seem to be a sufficient description. It's probably living La Dolce Vita and nothing we have tried has coaxed it back.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30243#post-85042 Sun, 11 Sep 2011 10:46:25 +0000 Textbook 85042@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Took me a while to understand the headline to be honest, but funny :) </p>