http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=cardiff The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 21:40:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1956#post-5784 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:54:39 +0000 Mrblacker 5784@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The time-travelling do-gooder known as the Doctor has revealed a simple mistake in his regular stationery order has led to him being temporarily grounded.</p> <p>His machine, The Tardis, cannot move from its current location on Cardiff's Roahl Dahl Plas until his local Rymans receives a delivery of typewriter ribbons.</p> <p>"It's all rather embarrassing really" the stranded unqualified medic told reporters. "I thought I ordered the correct inked ribbon for the Olympic typewriter that powers the destination module, but I accidentally transposed the part numbers and ended up with 24 gross of spacebars. And until I can get a fresh supply of ribbons I'm stuck here."</p> <p>The Doctor's companion, Amy Pond, confirmed the story and said things have been getting a little fraught in the time machine.</p> <p>"It's all very well for the Doctor to keep saying sorry for his mistake, but the simple truth is that I have to eat and the only way I can do that is to resume my previous career as a kissogram girl. And while business is good, the travelling to Hereford on a regular basis is severely denting my bank account."</p> <p>A spopkesman for Rymans said that they are trying to do everything in their power to get the ribbons, but because the model is obsolete and parts hard to come by, it will be at least a series before the Tardis can leave Earth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1676#post-4624 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:53:54 +0000 BigBish 4624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Airport staff were celebrating last night in light of the Home Secretary’s decision to increase Britain’s Terror Alert t Status. Recent upgrades which have set this at ‘Likely’ and have caused feelings ranging from incomprehension to panic. However, in one quarter the announcement from the Home Secretary has caused delight and excitement. A spokesman for Cardiff Wales Airport announced yesterday that these new opportunities for condescending attitudes, patronising explanations and customer contempt will be explored and exploited to the very limit. The spokesman went on to add “In the past we’ve done our best to upset our customers, we’ve spoken to them in a curt manner, we’ve gone out of our way to catch people out on baggage allowances and we’ve always been particularly proud of ensuring that passengers waste a great deal of time in queues as we individually slowly explain the bleeding obvious to every single passenger in turn in relation to flight rules and regulations” One of the most exciting areas for development has been the opportunity to expand on jobsworth explanations, one check-in assistant explained “In the past I’ve been able to make up for the fact that the rest of society has rejected me by fussing over minute irrelevant details under the umbrella of ‘just doing my job sir’ now under new rules I am able to roll my eyes, take an over-exaggerated breath before exclaiming ‘this is the situation we are now in madam, these rules and regulations are here for everyone’s safety and protection’ it’s all very exciting” He later went on to admit that a lot more hand luggage bags would be approved “if I’d just been born a couple of inches taller”<br /> Security staff at baggage inspection were similarly thrilled,, Brian Burgess went on to explain “previously these families and business travellers have been breezing through our security area stopping only to pop their bags on scanner and walk through a metal detector, now we get to throw a minor hissy fit because someone brought their own clear plastic bags, didn’t take a laptop out of its case properly or even on a good day forgets to take their keys out of their pockets. It’s very fulfilling for the many of us who had our applications to join the police rejected and thought we’d never get the chance to make people do what we tell them” </p>