http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=capello The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:13:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32302 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:07:33 +0000 arrghgarry 32302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yes 5 for the headline,......................must add ,one of the best headlines </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32301 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:02:43 +0000 Zadok the second 32301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree, great headline, but the piece itself needs a bit more work in my humblest. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32293 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 09:27:20 +0000 R R 32293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Chris, it was my first time. Lovely of you to be so gentle and encouraging . . . </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32277 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 08:05:01 +0000 ChrisHarrison 32277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great headline, R R. Love it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11778#post-32263 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 07:06:55 +0000 R R 32263@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'He will play in a threesome with John Terry and Ashley Cole' reported Capello to a pressroom full of shocked reporters who just wanted to know about the football . . . </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32262 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 07:04:13 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 32262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I thought all prostitutes had a heart of gold.</p> <p>It says so on telly </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11777#post-32261 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 06:58:49 +0000 R R 32261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Sonia', 48, - a pseudonym, but the old slapper's real age - has been expelled from the English League of Prostitutes on a charge of bringing 'The Game' into disrepute. The incident is the result of lurid tabloid allegations that she took £1200 for a session of sex from a client who was incapable of rational judgement. This is in contravention of the League's strict rules which outlaw taking advantage of those 'less than capable'. Sonia's alleged client was an ugly overpaid England International footballer who didn't get his request for an injunction about his private life to his lawyer in time, unlike the rest of his sex mad team mates under the strict authoritarian moral guardian England Team Manager Fabio Capello. This, according to The League, rendered him effectively really thick and ugly, and no self respecting street walker should touch a dog like that with a barge pole. 'It also probably explains why Rooney played shit at the World Cup' explained Filthy Fiona, the League's Chair - or Bike, as she is known. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5830#post-15980 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 09:18:40 +0000 QorbeQ 15980@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Always wondered if it implementing a rush-goalie system would add to the excitement and scorelines - just for the World Cup mind you, so's they don't get to practise much. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5830#post-15977 Mon, 07 Jun 2010 09:13:00 +0000 jp1885 15977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>North Korea's attempt to bolster their World Cup team up-front by nominating a specially-bred striker as their third goalkeeper has backfired spectacularly today, after FIFA insisted that the genetically engineered atomic super-mutant must actually play in goal, and not outfield as originally planned.</p> <p>In an attempt to boost the nation's attacking options against Group G opponents Brazil, Ivory Coast and Portugal, North Korean coach and political commissar Kim Jong-hun decided to name only two regular goalkeepers in his squad, with Ang Myong-Se, an atomic super-striker and by-product of Pyongyang's nuclear programme, as the back-up.</p> <p>According to official North Korean news sources, Ang was painstakingly created under the strictest of laboratory conditions to become the 'perfect striker, with the power of an atomic warhead behind his right foot.' 'Our glorious scientists have endowed upon him the spatial awareness of a golden eagle,' claimed a recent propaganda broadcast, 'combined with the speed of a cheetah, the tenacity of a bear and the rugged good looks of our glorious leader Kim Jong-il. He will dominate and bemuse even the stoutest-hearted decadent western capitalist back four.'</p> <p>However FIFA's instance on 23 players, three of whom must be goalkeepers, has scuppered this ambitious plan. 'If he is listed as a goalkeeper then that is the position he must play,' a FIFA spokesman insisted, 'regardless of how much diabolical tinkering with the very fabric of reality it took to create him. The fact that he can play keepie-uppy non-stop for over five months is neither here nor there.'</p> <p>In retaliation, the North Koreans have accused the FIFA of being overly speciesist, giving 'undue preference to pure-bred humans over the downtrodden socialist nuclear powered superman' - a charge the governing body vehemently denies. 'It is North Korea's blatant attempt at rule bending that we take exception to, not their player's biological superiority. We didn't hold this tournament in the Rainbow Nation for nothing you know - we welcome and embrace all nations, races and super-powers.'</p> <p>FIFA has also pointed to England's national team as further evidence of their openness; 'just look at the diversity of Capello's squad if you don't believe us: some players are white, some black, plus there's a human/monkey hybrid and, if Rio Ferdinand is to be believed, a 'fucking donkey', up front.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=218#post-645 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 12:29:31 +0000 exigo 645@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a tense news conference at Wembley this morning, Fabio Capello raised suspicions over a possible breakaway national side.<br /> "This Bridge business is fishy, you know", the Italian manager suggested, "first Jamie Carragher says he doesn't want to play for me, then it's Luke Young at right back. Now suddenly there's a third defender - a holier than thou trinity, no?".<br /> Rumours are circulating around the FA headquarters of a rival national team being put together, although suggestions that they will be called New England are believed to be very wide of the mark. Fears are growing for the England midfield, with either Gerrard or Lampard widely expected to be next to publicly fall out.<br /> With just a few months to go until the World Cup finals, Capello is obviously keen to make sure his best players resist any temptation to join the scab XI. He finished by declaring 'Hey Heskey, your wife is a fantastic lay, she is very good at playing in the hole, no? What you say about that, hey?'. </p>